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Some of you (hopefully all) recently read Will’s rankings of the best first date meals. I say meals because it’s far too cocky a move to actually be doing meals as a first date on the reg. I’m not saying I won’t do it, but I have to be damn sure about that girl. Damn sure. If I’m on the fence about someone, as in the banter so far hasn’t been incredible, or, shallowly, if I’m not sure I’m all that attracted to her, I’m taking dinner off the table. Too much of a financial and time investment for someone who’s not guaranteed a date #2.
So for me, I’m taking a first date to a quiet cocktail or wine bar. Mostly it’s this wine bar near where I live and it’s fantastic. Classy enough to make a great impression, but if the date heads south quickly you can hit the eject button after only one glass of wine. It’s perfect.
But I’m not completely taking dinner off the table as a first date. If I’m absolutely blown away by someone, be it from the incendiary banter on a dating app, or if we met through mutual friends, and I can already start fantasizing about what we’ll name our kids (Harry if it’s a boy, Stamper if it’s a girl, because Armageddon, duh), I’m game for a dinner first date. And 11/10 times, as Will so shrewdly pointed out, it’s sushi. And it’s not even close. I honestly don’t know what would come in second place for me if sushi were off the table.
Why is sushi the GOAT first dinner date? Glad you asked. Let’s dive in.
The first thing I always tout about a sushi date? It’s interactive. You’re eating with your hands, you’re using chopsticks, you – generally – can (and should) share. It’s a really solid way to break the ice. For me, sharing is huge. You can learn so much about someone just by eating sushi with them, it’s insane. If you’re with someone who is so adamant against sharing rolls, don’t start penciling in the summer vacation to Mykonos. What’s their go-to roll? Are they fucking with apps? They down to split the seaweed salad? These are all critical aspects of a potential relationship and no stone should be left un-turned.
It should also be noted that the fact that you’re using unconventional consumption methods (read: chopsticks) is bound to lead to some kind of food accident. A soy sauce spill. A dropped roll. You get the picture. And that’s great. You need something to cut through any first date tension you or your date may have, and just like a spilled glass of water or wine, a little sushi mishap may play in your favor. I’m not saying to purposely spill some sake, but if it happens, it’s so easy to spin it into a positive situation. Because it humanizes you. It gives you both something to laugh at.
Another absolutely crucial part of the sushi meal? It’s a phenomenal environment for hilarious conversation. You’ve got rolls coming that you have no idea what’s in them. It looks weird, there’s some crazy sushi chef who cooks you up something extra special and you’re not sure if it’s going to kill you or not. One time I went on this riff on sake and how they make booze out of rice, but I was going to start making booze out of quinoa; anyway, it was dumb but I’ll go to the grave saying that a sushi restaurant has the most shit you can turn into a joke.
And check it, I haven’t even mentioned the money aspect once. But I’ll do it now. Sushi is on the more expensive side. That’s a fact. There’s no way that this doesn’t factor in, even subconsciously. You look like the cock of the walk when you max the plastic on unagi, rather than taking her some place where they give you rolls before the waiter takes your drink order. It’s a classier meal for a classier man, and the chicks dig it. I once saw a first date at a burrito place. A burrito place! I couldn’t believe my eyes. I thought I was dreaming so I took the Cholula I was using and squirted a shit ton on my corneas, because I literally thought they were playing tricks on me. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, go get burritos for your first dinner date. Don’t get dollar slices. Don’t go to Shake Shack. Take that beautiful lady to a sushi spot with at least three dollar signs on Yelp and at a minimum, four star reviews.
And if you don’t believe me? Match.com did a survey and found that if you do sushi as a first date, you’re 170% more likely to secure a second date. Woah. .
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Boston Max
Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly
@BostonMaxG
@boston_maxg
Yes, but is it a date?
Not a whole lot of “fresh” seafood in MN. Sticking with the coal-fired pizza date.
MN seems like the place where’s youre much more likely to find a good pickled herring place than a good sushi place
Lutefisk on a first date to find out how much of a psycho they are
A good walleye dinner is a dime a dozen up here. Can’t say I’ve seen pickled herring on an actual establishment’s menu in my 25 years here.
Is that a recommendation for Black Sheep in North Loop?
I think the food style is similar. You can share, you can be adventurous with your toppings and its loved all around.
Pizza is very close 2nd
Gotta go in on the perch roll my man.
Where do you go that? I only know of Lucé and Black Sheep.
Yikes apparently I shouldn’t type when I’m hangry. Where do you go for that?*
Try Punch.
I’m with this guy. I’ll stick with my breakfast/brunch date(though I’m married.)
Is that what you with your now wife before she de-flowered you at a Hilton?
Was that English?
Dave-burn.
It was supposed to be, but clearly didn’t come out that way. Could’ve really uses that edit button. What I meant to say was,
“is that where your now wife took you before she de-flowered you at a Hilton?”
No worries, no, that day was PF Changs
I agree on the edit button, btw.
Nah, on that day we went to PF Changs.
Move to a coast. Boom. Problem solved.
…no.
Can’t wait to hear Duda’s take on why Sushi is the most horrendous first date food choice.
Also, Stamper makes me think of Doug from House of Cards.
Thank God I’m not the only one who thought that
I’m taking a girl out tonight for sushi. Second date tho. We got a drink at a bar for the first date. This article is me to the T.
Speaking for picky eaters everywhere, this is not the move.
In the words of Michael Scott, “Keep it Simple Stupid”.
I am agreeing you with, not calling you stupid just wanted to clarify that ahead of time.
If you can’t find at least 3 things to eat at an Americanized sushi spot, you are too picky and need to grow up. They all have shrimp tempura, chicken teriyaki, and some deep fried roll with zero fish in it.
Guntherfelt, that defeats the whole idea of this article
Splitting the seaweed salad sounds like a euphemism.
Strongly agree. It’s also important for me to verify that they know how to eat edamame.
Oh god. There’s a right way to eat edamame?!?
*Frantically Googles “proper edamame etiquette”*
*wipes sweat from forehead and confidently closes incognito tab on work computer*
There’s the normal way, and then there’s the people who think you’re supposed to chew the whole thing, and eat the pod.
How do you properly eat edamame? Mainly want to know so in six years when we have a huge fight I don’t hear my wife yell “oh yeah? Well you also eat edamame like a lunatic!”
My first assumption would be with your mouth, but given recent medical breakthroughs, there may be alternatives.
Wait. Your wife judges how you do every single goddamn thing too? Happy it’s not just mine.
My favorite part is not hearing about it until she has about sixteen things saved up to unload on me in a rapid fire of anger
My problem is the exaggerated frequency of things that I am accused of, like being sick a few weeks ago.
Her: You always get sick, why do you get sick so much!?
Me: I haven’t been sick in a year, it was last February when I had strep
Her: Oh, well could you stop ignoring us and spend some time with your family for once?
Me: *folds last piece of 4 load laundry pile* “Sure thing sweetheart.”
Why do you all hate your wives
Soo putting the entire thing in your mouth, violently ripping it out, then throwing the edamame carcass in the soy sauce trash bowl is the WRONG way to eat it. Noted.
Is it 1999 where you are? Sushi “looks weird”? Chopsticks are hard? JFC.
Just a caveat that wasn’t really mentioned in the article–if you’re taking an Asian out to sushi, the chopstick and food awkwardness may end up being one-sided (with you appearing to be the clumsy one). S/he may also be disappointed by the quality if you’re in a, ah, less ethnically diverse place. Personally, I (female Asian) would appreciate a classier sit-down regardless of the cuisine, so long as it seems like a thoughtful choice.
Did you take Mia to sushi?