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It’s Thursday evening or a lazy Saturday at home. Maybe you’re nursing a stomach flu, or you just don’t feel like changing out of sweatpants for at least 12 hours. It’s likely you’ll fire up the TV, your laptop, tablet, or whatever you watch your shows on and let that beautiful fluorescent screen go for hours. Enjoy my list of shows that are great contenders for your extended viewing pleasure.
Law and Order SVU
SVU is coming in hot as perhaps the best binge-watching show. As an added benefit, there’s an insanely high chance that USA is running an all-day marathon you can just dip into whenever you want. While they deal with some pretty heavy issues on the show, SVU is actually easy watching. Plus, it’s socially conscious. The “this story is not based on actual events” line at the beginning of episodes is straight BS. Get ready for a bender of not so subtle Casey Anthony, Elizabeth Smart, and Paula Deen references.
It’s a blessing to have your TV screen graced with the presence of Detective Olivia Benson. Mariska Hargitay should be everyone’s celebrity crush, and if you disagree with me, you’re wrong. Be forewarned though, you probably won’t be able to take a quick jerk off break while watching. SVU is probably some of the worst material to have on the brain while trying to get turned on.
Criminal Minds
Just like SVU, Criminal Minds deals with some dark topics, but is easy to marathon regardless.
Dr. Reid, Derek Morgan, the guy from Dharma and Greg, it’s an amazing cast. For the most part, each episode follows a general formula. This is ideal for when you want to zone in and out while watching. I recommend the first few seasons though – the later stuff has extended storylines that are a tad annoying when you’re trying to not focus on something and remember details. Wrap the plot up in 30 minutes please and thank you.
About five episodes in, you’ll be analyzing the thought process of the pizza delivery guy to try and find out why he’s late with your personal deep dish.
How I Met Your Mother
I have never actually watched this show myself, but I am going off the recommendations of multiple friends and family members. I know so many people who swear this show is the best thing since sliced bread, and that you can always watch and re-watch any season. From everything I’ve heard, I can infer this is the go-to show for easy to follow plot lines and canned humor. It doesn’t do anything for me, but I’m part of the minority on this one.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Crass jokes are always good for a lazy weekend. You can pop on Always Sunny and get through a full season in one sitting easily. Or, you can cherry pick your favorite episodes and watch from various seasons. I personally am a big fan of anything Day Man & Night Man, or the episode where they try out for the Philadelphia Eagles. This is a great partner watching show. Memorable one liners can be saved for future conversations, and laughing with someone else is always better than laughing alone. So, if you feel the need to share your Chex Mix and beer, this may be a hot pick for you.
One of the best parts about Always Sunny? You feel a little better about yourself after watching. You may be a fucked-up person, but you’ll never be on the same level as The Gang.
Top Chef
Food shows are the bomb. Top Chef, in particular, is amazing because you get to watch people do something you’re incredibly incapable of, and judge them for their slip-ups. I’ve definitely called someone out for putting an unfinished honey glaze on their dish as I sit eating Cup of Noodles for dinner the third night in a row. This is also the ideal show to binge watch while multi-tasking. As long as you see the finished plate you’re golden, so if you have some laundry to fold, or a paper to write, go ahead and fire Netflix up and throw on Top Chef.
Keeping up with the Kardashians
Honestly, reality TV could take up this entire list. KUWTK is a classic, and will always be an American treasure. KUWTK is to E! as SVU is to USA, there’s always a marathon on. Kim, Kourt, and Khloe (and debatably Kris) are so dynamic to watch. The antics never get old, I’ve seen the episode where Scott Disick shoves money in a waiter’s mouth six or seven times now.
People hate this show, and I get it. None of the girls have any real skillset. But does it really matter? I’m not watching reality television to expand my mind or become a better person. Get off your high horse and just enjoy some trash TV.
Say Yes to The Dress*
This is more for the ladies, although I’m sure there are some men out there who love the show. I’ve spent far too many nights entering the world of Kleinfield’s with some of the bitchiest brides in the world. TLC knew that they were making TV crack when they added SYTTD to the line-up. Every fake blonde New Jersey looking for her dream Pnina Tornai gown, and all the busty girls that try to go the strapless route and look like overfilled muffin tins hold a special place in my heart. You can watch back to back to back and enter a sort of trippy state where you feel as if you’re part of the wedding industry and can offer advice to brides-to-be on what’s best for them. .
*Note: Do not try to binge “Say Yes to The Dress: Atlanta.” It is nowhere close to the New York level.
Respond
Kell
future soccer mom of America (AKA I drive a Volvo.) Miracle is my favorite movie and it should be yours too.
@backpackfanclub
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Parks & Rec minus the first two seasons is terrific binge watching television.
This may be an unpopular opinion, but I like Parks more than The Office. There, I said it.
Also, Seinfeld needs to be on this list.
I have gotten in a heated argument with people debating the merits of the office versus parks and rec. would be a great column on this site
Parks individual characters are better, the Office is overall better. Something about the whole being greater than the sum of the parts
Okay Shitto
Personally, Archer is my go-to binge. The Skytanic episode will never not be funny.
M as in mancy
New Girl. Schmidt is one of the funniest characters on TV.
Second this, New Girl is a heavily underrated binge-able show
Absolutely. I’m still waiting for the newest season so I can get caught up
That 70’s Show
‘Nice work, dumbass.”
The Always Sunny when Mac and Charlie crash their car into the wall trying to fake their own death is the GOAT of comedy episodes/scenes
Cops can take you down the fastest 3.5 hr wormhole of your entire life.
Especially Campus PD edition. Its like a living “worst stories”
I can confidently say I’m 98% sure I’ve seen every episode of Cops up to date and it might be my greatest accomplishment so far (besides marrying my wife and stuff)
Whoa, wait a second. You got married?
Surprise surprise
Reads list *watches The Office anyway*
My go-to has been Arrested Development. The more times I watch it the more hilarious details I notice. It’s brilliant
Sup?
have you guys ever heard of frasier
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Frasier. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of modern psychiatry most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Frasier’s intellectual outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Freudian literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Frasier truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Frasier’s snobbishly intellectual catchphrase “You will rue the day you did that,” which itself is a cryptic reference to the hit sitcom Cheers. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Kelsey Grammer’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them.
I see what you did there. Still doesn’t make it funny.
How I Met Your Mother is just “Friends” reheated and updated for 2005-2014. Its fine, just know what it is.