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Any girl who drinks even a moderate amount has a drunk alter ego. Think Beyonce’s Sasha Fierce, but a little more sloppy and maybe not quite so….well, fierce. For a long time, I just thought this was a random thing that girls do, but according to a new study from the University of Missouri-Columbia, almost all of us – in both sexes – turn into a different person when we’re inebriated.
The study, published in the Addiction, Research & Theory Journal, was compiled after 364 college students completed a personality test twice – one time categorizing their sober selves and a second time taking into consideration who they think they are when they’ve had a few. The end result? Most of us fall into one of four personality categories when we are wasted, which the psychologists who conducted the study coined as the Hemingway, the Nutty Professor, the Mary Poppins and the Mr Hyde.
The Hemingway
The largest group of students reported that they are “Hemingways” – meaning that, much like the famous author, they can drink as much as they want with little changes to their personality. Of course, no one wants to admit that they actually change all that much when they drink, so I’m going to call bullshit on the majority of people being in this category. Otherwise, how to do you explain the number of 9s that hook up with 5s on any given weekend?
The Nutty Professor
20 percent of the group surveyed becomes more outgoing when they drink, which is kind of a duh as far as I’m concerned. I mean, they don’t call it liquid courage for nothing, amirite? I would know, since I personally fall into this group – I’m actually pretty quiet when I’m sober, but I’m your new best friend after a few shots of Fireball. And while I’d like to think that I don’t actually turn into an obese lecturer when I’m drunk, stranger things have happened.
The Mary Poppins
You know that rare person that actually gets really, really nice when they are shitfaced? Well, according to the study, those people fall into the Mary Poppins category and actually account for 15 percent of drinkers, although none of them are my friends. The authors state that “The Mary Poppins group of drinkers essentially captures the sweet, responsible drinkers who experience fewer alcohol-related problems.” Yeah, until you give them that one shot that tips them over the edge to…
The Mr. Hyde
…the blackout, raging mean drunk that is Mr. Hyde, the group in which like 75 percent of my friends reside. Those bitches get mean after a few vodkas. According to the researchers, people of this personality type reported “a tendency of being particularly less responsible, less intellectual, and more hostile when under the influence of alcohol than they are when they are sober.” The researchers also stated that Mr. Hydes accounted for 23 percent of the people surveyed and, in news that will be surprising to no one, two thirds of them were female. #drunk #blackout #alldashots #hotmess .
[via The Telegraph]
Image via Shutterstock
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
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What about the people that get really horny when drunk?
We call them degenerates, they call anyone in their phone with a vagina around midnight.
22 sent messages: “Wanna come over and cuddle?”
They should’ve added another, “Wildcard.” This drunk could be any of the others, on any given night–this one doesn’t fit into a box.