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It’s tough to pinpoint when the feeling started. It was there over the summer, maybe sometime in July or even June, but I bet if I was really listening to myself, I was probably singing the tune even earlier. March, maybe February. Sort of like an eager restlessness, but a sad kind. Not depression, per se, but lingering feelings of “this is it? This is what my twenties are supposed to be like? Surely there’s more.”
But when I’d ask myself what I really wanted, I’d give myself a mental shoulder shrug, ambivalent, taking another long swig of drinkable $10 wine, the bottle always dangerously low on volume week after week after week. Though to be fair, even if I were keeping things one hunit emoji, I’d be at the bottle of a bottle of wine. But my morose wine is red, and my happy wine is white, and for a while I’ve only been drinking red – even during the dog days of summer – so you know things weren’t all blueberries and paper airplanes for Boston’s boy.
Staying busy with work was a great distraction from this feeling, but there are only so many hours in a week you can stare at PowerPoint before an ophthalmologist has to bring in the heavy artillery to remove the gloss from your corneas. So I wrote. Lost myself in satire blogs, cracking jokes about The Bachelor and brunch. So I read. I had lists of books I’d always wanted to conquer. I read some. So I travelled a little; took some nice Instagrams. So I got a shredded. Abs like Bieber. Okay that last one is a lie.
Dating was getting exceedingly more difficult. Well, more just the act of meeting people. I have this theory about Boston. It’s an incredible city – don’t get me wrong – but it can be a tough place to meet new people. My theory about this is because people who grow up here tend to stay here, or if you went to college here, lots of those people from your college crews tend to stick around. (Except my college crew; more on that later). So you’ve got a city full of groups of friends pretty solidified, and they usually roll deep. But getting “absorbed” into one of these friend groups, as an outsider of the squad, is wicked hard.
I see lots of people dating within their friend groups, or dating friends of friends. But when you’re like me, and you’ve met all the friends of friends, met all the single girls my friends know, what’s the next step? Where do you go from there? I was still meeting people, but at a much slower pace than I would like. It’s not that I’m deeply pining for a girlfriend; I’m currently content at the moment only being committed to Bill Belichick and New England Patriots. But right now, on the brink of 26, I just find myself not even being consistently in positions to even meet people who I could potentially one day fall in love with.
And like I have mentioned, I was bleeding college buddies left and right. Always close with my roommate, we got even closer. Not in the “bite that tattoo on your shoulder pull the sheets right of the corner” sense, but I spent a lot of time with him. And his girlfriend. I did a lot of third wheeling; I was the biggest third wheel since Italy in WWII.
Some friends still kicking around Boston started moving in with their girls as my friends from college were disappearing to other cities. They were all getting jobs elsewhere and leaving me to defend the wall up in Boston alone. I was losing my infrastructure of single male friends faster than an Oberlin College graduate took to the protest streets after the Presidential election. Of the friends that I had left in Boston, many were in serious relationships. Do you know what it’s like being one of the only single dudes in a group of friends mostly comprised of couples? For one thing, it makes meeting single women really hard really fast. But more than that, it can get really lonely. What the fuck was I supposed to do when they all wanted to go to fucking farmer’s markets to learn the difference between winter and summer squash.
And then one day in mid-July I came home from a trip to Nashville and The Roommate told me he was moving out. He, too, was moving in with his longtime girlfriend. Certainly happy for him, I was at an impasse. Unhappy with how my life was trending, I could stay where I was and find a new roommate and try and find ways to hang out with more like-minded single people. Or I could really shake things up.
“I’ve lived in Boston my whole life,” I told myself. “A lot of the guys from college have moved out of Boston. Maybe you should go join them. It’d be an adventure.” So there, sometime in late-July, it was decided. Boston Max was going to move.
Now what?.
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Boston Max
Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly
@BostonMaxG
@boston_maxg
Just because Gronk is out for the season doesn’t mean that you have to move away; it’ll get better again.
Damnit this has potential. Like Engaging In The Chase potential.
If your scouting locations, Houston has great margaritas and you’ll never have to shovel snow out of a driveway.
Growing up in a region with all four seasons I used to get SAD (seasonal affectiveness disorder) in the fall. Now it comes in late March because I know six months of hell is right around the corner.
Dallas is even better, it doesn’t smell of stale sewer water like Houston does.
That’s Pasadena that smells like stale sewer. Actually since moving to Houston its actually really grown on me. Rodeo is great, tons of kickass bbq and Asian food. Plus occasional free PTO days for flooding. But fuck midtown and those uppity hipster shits. Also Breakfast Klub does a great chicken and waffles
Your use of metaphors is fantastic.
Also, I would suggest New York, especially if meeting a nice Jewish girl is a top priority.
I’m a fan of both cities, but NYC is such a different vibe compared to Boston.
True but it’s Jewish singles heaven. My friend moved there at 25, met a girl a few months later and they just got engaged last week.
Mazzal tov
Mazel* it’s Friday
Shabbat shalom.
Atlanta is a transplant city. Almost every mid-20s professional here is from somewhere else. Just saying you wouldn’t be an outsider. Also you can laugh when 1/8 inch of snow shuts us down.
Atlanta resident, love it, cheap, great weather, everyone is much more hospitable–has you want in a city except good public transportation. There are tons of fantastic cities all over the US–but I’d definitely recommend Atlanta, Nashville, and Charleston if you’re looking for low (relatively) cost of living, large amounts of (single) postgrads, and a general population that’s much more welcoming than say, Boston.
I try to avoid cities with Level 4 Biosafety labs. Having the CDC in your backyard is would keep me from Hotlanta.
Agree, I live in Atlanta too and there are so many people here who are transplants from all over the country in their mid-to-late 20s. It’s a good city for meeting new people.
Are you fucking kidding me right now? God damnit Max, everyone’s leaving this city and I’m like all alone now and shit even though we’ve never met or hung out but still.
The moisture is the essence of wetness and Max is the essence of Boston. I’ll never truly leave, even if I’m not there
Not a huge fan of Oregon (Not Portland). From NY originally. Hard to meet people and no uber :(. Craft beer and hippy beards a plenty though!
I’m moving to Miami, today. Never been. Let’s do this man.
Check out “Ball & Chain” in Little Havana
Been pining to leave Ohio for a long time. Dallas is on the radar. It should be on yours, too buddy
was there the past 6 months and it’s got a lot to offer if you’re into big cities, just wasn’t for me.
I was only there for a weekend so take this with a grain of salt, but the city felt too spread out to me. Ubering around was pretty expensive even when dividing between friends. I did enjoy my time out though.
I’ve lived in Dallas the past 2 years.Tons of jobs, especially in tech. A few different bar scenes to find your niche. I’m from a small town in northeast Texas so it was a pretty big culture shock, but I luckily made some good friends and settled in.
Italy as WWII’s third wheel is a weapons-grade take
Moved to a suburb of Boston right before High School started, most the people I graduated with never left the state, let alone the region. I went back to Texas for undergrad and have now made my way to DC. Moving to a new region is really exciting and it gives you the opportunity to see just how different the rest of the country is. Good luck with the big move!
I’m from Arlington originally! Have fun in DC!
I’ve been here for five years and dream about moving once a week.
I fall victim to ‘the grass is greener’ mentality often. Stuck in a midsize Ohio city (and not even “millennial haven” Cleveland-Akron), I’ve dreamed about getting out to Boston where many of my college friends moved/are moving. 3 years post-grad, hasn’t happened and probably won’t. Glad you’re doing something about the discontentment.
I’m with you there. I’ve wanted to get out of Ohio for as long as I can remember, but it feels as if there is something holding me here.
I always say that Ohio (I live in Cleveland) is a great place to grow up and a great place to raise a family. Despite what the wisdom of the Recruitment Chair I don’t think it’s the best post grad location. I think I have a longing to go elsewhere because deep down I know I will always have family in the region, so it wouldn’t be goodbye. Just see ya later.
Ohio, especially Cleveland, is weird that you have to leave first in order to appreciate it and many people who do leave return (just look at LeBron). You can call many places home but you only have one hometown. Take the time to explore-Boston will always be there for you.
Right? This state is a weird place because I love it and hate it at the same time. I try to rationalize with the low cost of living. And the fact I invested a lot of time and effort in getting licensed here has put plans of moving on hold for a few years at least.
because Ohio is secretly the best.
I really love cincinnati, but definitely wouldn’t mind a few years elsewhere.
I think Rick hit it on the head. I left CLE for Oxford for a couple of years and that did 2 things. 1) I realized that there are a lot of cool places to see filled with cool people to meet. 2) Cleveland, despite shit winter weather, is a peaceful place to live. It’s my little bubble on the North Shore. It’s damn hard to take the Cleveland out of a person that’s spent their childhood and adolescence living there.
Ohio is where I want to settle down but I think 3-5 years away is the way to do it.
A bunch of my friends moved out of Ohio, I visited all of them but was never impressed enough to move…and now slowly but surely they’re trickling back to Cleveland/Columbus. So I’m glad I came back after a few years near my college town.
Cleveland-Akron doesn’t seem like the millennial haven to me. Most of my friends who live there hate it because there’s not much fun stuff to do and it’s tough to make friends. The Mrs and I have considered leaving Cincinnati someday in the future, but we have yet to come up with anywhere that seems as worthwhile to live. SW Ohio has good food, great beer, music, theater, affordable living, people worth meeting, and lots and lots of jobs.
Weather and highways suck dick though.
Damn, there’s a lot of people from Ohio that comment on this site.
What else is there to do here?
It’s pretty much Chicago, Ohio, DC, and Texas.
i also live in ohio (cleveland) lol
Sup?