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Update: November 9, 8:15 a.m.
We got duped.
Per the New York Daily News:
This fight’s a fraud.
Rumblr, the “Tinder for Fighting” app turned out to be a stunt by an agency called von Hughes.
When the website went live at 5 p.m. on Monday, the app asked users to sign in using their Tinder, LinkedIn or create a new account. It matched all users up with a fighter named Dudecati. The user wouldn’t be able to do anything but type back at the automated response. At the end of it, the bot tells users:
“ok in all seriousness though you’re wasting your time here,” and then redirects you to the group’s website.
At least we got to revel in the glory that is mattyice67.
Originally printed: November 9, 11:28 a.m.
I’ve gotten in two fights. One began because my friend insulted a guy’s Burberry scarf, which prompted the scarf-wearer and his three fraternity brothers to tackle us into a snowbank. And the other was because I told someone, “Cincinnati sucks,” after he introduced himself to me at a bar in an aggressive manner. Yes, I am well aware that both fights I’ve indulged in were stupid, as most fights are. But sometimes you just gotta throw get the adrenaline goin’.
But I probably won’t be using Rumblr, a new app that allows you to “find and engage with recreational fighters near you – for free.” Per their site:
Rumblr is an app for recreational fighters to find, meet, and fight other brawl enthusiasts nearby.
You don’t need to fight to use Rumblr. With Rumblr Explore, anyone can browse and attend fights close by that other Rumblr users have arranged – all for free!
Okay, awesome. No longer do I have to go out looking for fights. I can sit on my couch and browse the main events from the comfort of my own home. I mean, just look at the type of people on this.
User mattyice67, the two-star amateur fighter? Alright. Is it the upset of the century that his username isn’t “mattyice69”?
His stats are pretty peculiar. Matty puts out a 170-soaking-wet vibe but if you aren’t bullshitting a little bit in the tale of the tape, you’re already losing. But “losing” doesn’t really seem to be a huge concern from mattyice67 as his 1-4-5 record isn’t exactly Mayweather-esque.
Something about mattyice67’s flip phone, gold chain, and JNCO-looking shirt tells me that he may want to bow out of this fight before it begins. I respect attempting to bite off more than you can chew, but come on, mattyice67. You’re flying a little close to the sun with this one.
Aggressive banter from both sides. I, personally, have never decided to fight someone because their “face is pissing me off,” but I’ve also never downloaded an app with the explicit intention of trying to fuck someone up behind a deli on 5th Avenue.
And my favorite part of the entire app — the various options for the fights. Just looking for a regular one-on-one? Rumblr. A girl fight? RumblrHER. A no holds barred squad-on-squad battle royale? RumblrGROUP.
Rumblr is actually releasing their beta at 5 o’clock today, so strap up and get ready to rumble. .
Images via Rumblr
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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95% of the people on the app…
As much as I loved having one in high school, if I saw someone still using an LG enV I’d want to fight them too.
I definitely can’t miss out on a chick fight. Unless it’s in Harlem. Harlem is terrifying.
There is no way this could go poorly
Brick killed a guy.
they literally broke the first rule.
RumblrGROUP sounds awesome:
Do they do Rankings?
Of course, everyone knows the number one rule:
Are Hand Grenades Allowed? That would be a blast.
I can’t wait for this.
Tyler Durden would be proud.