If there’s one thing Americans love more than shouting mealy-mouthed political opinions on Twitter, it’s sitting on our fat asses and watching TV. I have a theory that the TV doesn’t even have to be on, but we’d sit there and stare at a blank screen out of sheer force of habit.
And, of course, there are political differences in television. For instance, people on the left like The Daily Show and Al-Jazeera while people on the right prefer Fox News. I’d like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that Roger Ailes is embroiled in a sex scandal and that you should all imagine (this guy) attempting to put his genitalia inside of you.
As if attempting to further drive a wedge into the cultural divide ripping our nation apart, research firm E-Score has published a report on the differences in TV preferences between Republicans and Democrats.
“E-Score said it analyzed more than 750 programs on broadcast and cable networks, as well as streaming services, with Americans of voting age who identify as either Republican or Democrat.”
As you can imagine, there is plenty to loathe for each side.
First of all, both Republicans and Democrats love Supernatural, which I assume is because Republicans believe in ghosts and Democrats only think in the form of reaction gifs on Tumblr. They also both love The Walking Dead, which should come as no surprise, given that the decisions made by both primary systems appear to prefer situations in which society will crumble. Finally, both Republicans and Democrats watch the Big Bang Theory. I got nothing on that one, I’ve never observed an actual joke in the show, despite it being billed as a comedy.
So what are the differences? How can we hate our fellow Americans more?
“Democrats have more of a taste for series with ethnically diverse casts and are drawn more toward series they described as “sexy” and “emotionally involving.” Republicans, likewise, prefer “family friendly” and “funny” shows, as well as programs with strong “good vs. evil” themes.”
Well first of all, Game of Thrones ranks first among Democrats, but doesn’t appear on the list for Republicans. This is understandable since Game of Thrones contains complex storylines and your HBO subscription doesn’t come with you when you move trailer parks. At the same time, this is curious, given how much focus is given to a wall. Other blue-skewed shows include a show I’ve never heard of on the Oprah channel and Doctor Who.
For Republicans, a whole shitload of CBS shows pop up (obviously), as well as Arrow on the CW, which I can only assume means they haven’t made it to Season 3 yet. Republicans also watch Last Man Standing, so you know who to blame for Tim Allen still having a job.
So obviously our differences are too great to overcome and we should just devolve into civil war. .
[via The Wall Street Journal]