Reddit Users Submitted Their Most Absurd Party Stories, And Their Answers Didn’t Disappoint

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As one of the only interns in the office, everyone lives vicariously through my party stories which sucks because I feel like I can only tell my employer so much about my life despite the fact that people continually ask.

When I got an email this morning labeled “Party Stories,” I rolled my eyes. Luckily, though, it was just a Reddit thread titled “What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever seen at a party? [NSFW]”. Naturally, the stories had to get shared with the masses.

Via Reddit:

One of my friends turned up to a party in his original Mini Cooper, something like this. He got completely wasted and didn’t want to drive home, so rather than take a taxi, he pushed his car the whole 3 mile journey.

I tried to solo push a Subaru out of my friend’s driveway once on the 4th Of July. I woke up and felt like I partook in a Strong Man Competition on ESPN4.

It was my father’s 25+ years with his coworkers party in our backyard, one guy had a motorcycle accident a year prior and this was his first “party” out of his bed he was In for 12 months; promptly chugged along with everyone until he’s having such a good time and obviously buzzed that he “stands up” off his wheelchair propping himself with his forearms onto his two feet so fast everyone stood agape until he fell forward onto the table full of 40 beer bottles a half second later, then it was laughter and good times rolling for these guys until sunrise next morning.

I’ve been pretty drunk in my day, but I can’t imagine ever getting so drunk that I forget I’m fucking handicapped.

“This chick found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her. She went into some room and jerked off some random dude, then slapped her boyfriend in the face with his cum all over her hand.

I thought he was going to kill her.

Edit: I just brought this up to a buddy of mine who was friends with the kid who got slapped because it’s been years since it happened and this is blowing up. He reminded me that the boyfriend wasn’t even cheating on her. She was just some psycho nut job who had issues with her boyfriend having other female friends. I guess the alcohol took her jealousy to a new plateau. Fucking party was crazy. Someone ripped a phone line through the wall and someone else stole the front door.”

That’s just foul. That girl has a father and she’s just slapping man juice on other dude’s c onto her ex-boyfriend’s face? I don’t think the ends justified the means here.

Sorority girl making out with the drunk passed out carcass of a fraternity guy. For like ten minutes. He literally did not move at all. After she left to go dance again 4 of his buddies had to carry him out

This guy’s game must’ve been electric just before passing out. The last girl that wanted me that bad was, well, no girl ever.

Drunk girl fell down a flight of stairs to the basement at a party – landed face first on a pile of hardwood scraps and gashed her face pretty good. Reverted to speaking Spanish (she was visiting from Mexico) and refused the idea of calling an ambulance. She ended up fine the next day from what I heard but looked pretty bruised from the pics I saw.

I’ve never understood why people revert back to their native accent (or in this case, language) when they get blackout. Normally it’s Philly and Jersey trash though, not Mexican people.

Watched a midget do a keg stand in college. The ridiculous part was when he landed back on his feet, his eyes immediate rolled to the back of his head and he passed out. He fell backwards like a board and smacked his head on the floor. He looked dead for a few seconds and several people circled around him, when he finally opened his eyes everyone yelled and cheered, seemed like a movie.

I don’t care what you say — midgets falling down is the funniest thing ever. It’s like a squatty bowling pin with a weighted bottom.

Guy broke a door off its hinges while covered in blood. Then casually just walked off with it under his arm, without saying a word.

Dude, did you… did you report this?

Went to a friends house party around 7 years ago. There were at least 100 people in a two up two down house…. most people in a room witnessing a girl attempting to fit a pretty big telescope in her pussy. It was messed up.

That girl sounds out of this world. See what I did there?

Was at a party in high school. It was a pretty big party. People everywhere. I walk into the laundry room to a large group of people, about 15. They were all huddled around a dog kennel with a large blood hound and two collies inside. They were laughing hysterically yelling about some kind of initiation. Perplexed I asked what this initiation was. Then one guy who I don’t think I had even met before proceeded to pull his pants down past his ass and press his cheeks against the metal cage. The dogs all happily licked this kids ass.

I turned around and walked out. Weird shit. Don’t even know what this “initiation” was for.

Okay, I don’t think I want to be in this Reddit thread anymore. I know Reddit is a freak fest, but I normally draw the line at bestiality.

We were having a party at our house and one of the guests got a little out of hand. He started breaking beer bottles on the floor and dancing in the shards of glass in his bare feet.

The dance floor cleared and a circle formed around him, watching as he began rolling around on the floor cutting himself on the glass. One of my housemates started yelling at him to get out and he turned to her and said, “Stop censoring my art!”

I didn’t want to laugh at this, but the notion of someone drunkenly referring to this as “art” got me. Probably Todd from Wedding Crashers.

For the entire ridiculous, disgusting, and weirdly detailed Reddit thread, proceed with caution. .

[via Reddit]

Image via YouTube

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