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Two girls, with two very different questions this week. Per usual, the questions are in quotes below and as always, keep ’em comin’.
Hey Johnny! I’m just another girl taking advantage of an anonymous peak into a guys head. I’ll keep my question short because it doesn’t need much context. I’ll just say I’m newly single and taking any advice I can get. So… what is the best unexpected thing a girl can do in bed?
First off, if you live in Chicago I have to say I’m mildly offended that you didn’t slide into my DMs. Secondly, congratulations on being newly single. It’s a big world, and it’s refreshing to get a question from a girl that doesn’t revolve around how worried she is about being single for the rest of her life.
Now for your question — all any guy wants out of a girl he’s having sex with is a little bit of enthusiasm. A girl that puts her hard hat on, brings a lunchpail, and goes to work every day. You don’t have to be a pornstar. I think (read: hope) most guys know that 90% of the female population is not down with anal or facials. I can tell you that for normal guys that you will go out with, vaginal intercourse will be just fine with them. The sheer fact that you’re willing to let a guy inside you is going to be enough for a lot of the guys you date. Having said that, switching up positions every once in a while is awesome when it’s the girl who is suggesting doing so. Missionary is fine. You’d be surprised how many girls don’t want to get on top. So even that is nice if the guy doesn’t have to ask. Doggy is obviously fun. If you’re feeling really crazy, reverse cowgirl. Even the “lazy” laying down on your side like you’re cuddling move is pretty good. After that, you’re venturing into experimental positions. What I’m trying to say here is that if you’re enthusiastic, or just genuinely happy to be doing this, you really don’t need to do anything unexpected. Just be in the moment and don’t be a starfish. Nothing worse than a girl who just lays there emotionless.
Hi Johnny D,
I read all your stuff and it’s super great. I love your Questions from the Chase segment and would love your opinion on my newest predicament.I’m a 24-year-old female living in Houston. I started seeing a guy at the end of last summer. Typical situation, we were never really on the same page. I thought I was playing the cool, care-free, non-committal card but he really thought I was losing interest when I wasn’t hounding him to put a label on it. In fact, the few times he brought it up, I laughed the idea off. We were exclusively sleeping with only each other and agreed not to date anyone else. Any other generation would refer to him as my boyfriend, but this is 2016 *eye-roll emoji.* Eventually, this all came to a head and we were drunkenly yelling at each other in a bar about how we needed to commit or let go. Both of us, drunkenly begging for commitment while trying to be the “cool” one who didn’t need it. Stupid. Anyways, we ended things for a while (mostly due to pride on both sides). We tried to be friends during our hiatus and it only resulted in jealousy, hurt feelings, and quite a few nights back in the sack after a few too many whiskeys.
Fast forward two months. We workout at the same gym so we continued running into each other almost daily and eventually going out for drinks a few times. We settled right back into our old routine of an almost-relationship.
He was laid off along with the majority of Houstonians when oil prices fell. He spent a few months looking for jobs down here, but ultimately couldn’t find anything and started casting the net wider. Long story short, he got a job offer in Dallas which he reluctantly accepted.
Here’s the kicker. He asked me to go with him. I work in a field that I could get a job anywhere, so it’s not like he’s asking me to uproot my life. I have little to no attachment in Houston. Ironically, almost all of my college friends went to Dallas after graduation.
I’m really just curious what you think about this. Should I keep talking to him while I live in Houston and he’s 260 miles away? Should I suggest we try long distance? Should I move? Should I cut it off?
Any thoughts you have would be much appreciated.
Holy shit. A lot to cover here. First off, let me say that Houston and Dallas might as well be Mars and Pluto to me. I’ve never been to either city, so I don’t really understand why he reluctantly accepted a position in Dallas after he got laid off in Houston. Is Dallas not fun? Whatever, that has nothing to do with your question. I’d like to sit here and tell you that you should try and make long distance work. I’d like to tell you that it would work out. But we all know long distance never works. Not in movies, tv shows, or real life does it ever work.
So this naturally leads us to the question of whether or not you should move to Dallas. You’re 24 years old. If you love this guy, and you genuinely think that this is it for you, move to Dallas. My recommendation? Stay in Houston and cut if off. You’ve got four, five years of single life that you could be enjoying before societal standards say that you need to settle down and get married. You don’t need to worry about your eggs being infertile until you’re at least 35. Like I said, I don’t know anything about Houston or Dallas. If you have a deep seated hatred for the city of Dallas it’s an easy question. Don’t move. I think trying to make it work long distance is an exercise in futility. If you’re really ready to uproot your entire life for this guy you better make sure it’s for the right reasons. But if I’m in your shoes, I’m keeping my fine ass in Houston and rolling the dice as a single 24-year-old. Keep it copacetic. Be easy. .
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Respond
jduda@grandex.co
Girl #2 in Dallas two months from now:
Ehh, she’s obviously from Texas, most of her friends moved there post college–if things don’t work out, it’s not like she’s in some random flyover state.
But…Texas is…a flyover state…(so is Illinois where I live)
I think you should sit the rest of the day out, I doubt anybody would consider either flyover states.
Do you not know what “flyover states” are? I’m pretty sure assholes from either coast consider both Texas and Illinois in that category.
Texas has three of the top ten largest cities in the U.S. and Austin comes in at No. 11. And speaking of flying, Dallas is home to two of the biggest airlines in the U.S. and Houston is a major hub for a third. It’s more than a flyover state.
I think at this point we’re arguing semantics. But by definition it’s a flyover state. You fly over it to get from the west coast to east coast and vice versa. I’m sure Texas has a lot to offer.
Girl #1: Blowjobs. You can never go wrong with blowjobs.
Bold move asking someone to move with you to a new city when you’re not in a relationship..
Either desperate or confident.
“The sheer fact that you’re willing to let a guy inside you is going to be enough for a lot of the guys you date.” Truer words may never have been spoken..
What’s the old saying when you have a tough decision to make? “Flip a coin to decide and the minute it’s in the air you’ll know your answer” or something like that.
Wasn’t there a column about that?
Congrats on the new gig Johnny!
Nothing worse than a starfish
I lived in Dallas uptown area for 6 months after I graduated college and could not have had a better experience. I was really upset when I eventually had to relocate. Hell of a city with a great bar scene/lots of young professionals/no fucking snow
Only knock on Dallas is the whole new money (or 30k millionaires trying to fake it) attitude is much more common than Houston. But its not bad enough to discount how good the bar scene is. Sounds like you will immediately have a good group so it will be an easy transition.
Dallas is terrible. The relationship started off as terrible. You’ll regret this terrible decision. Stay in Houston. Ps. holla at me. I’m in Houston and have a government job
“and have a government job” how often does that line work for ya?
Well he’s obviously lying because he’s still in college.