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I’ve been a fan of Emily Ratajkowski’s for a long time now. She’s one of the most gorgeous women in the world and by God does she know it. I’m hoping that this little write up does not get me placed on some sort of stalker watch list, because I can assure you the only thing that would happen if I ever saw her in real life is terribly sad and unbecoming. I’d throw up (that goes without saying), probably stare at her for far too long, and then go about my miserable life slightly happier than I would have had I never seen her in person, content with the confirmation that she is in fact real.
If you follow her on Instagram, you know that at any given moment Emrata (as the Internet has so eloquently dubbed her) could post a picture that has the capability of bringing the entire Internet to its knees. She is a vision if there ever was one, a woman who requires no buildup, no superfluous adjectives.
In the past few months I feel as though the power ranking has died off almost completely. I enjoy reading power rankings almost as much as I enjoy drooling over photos of Emily Ratajkowski, so without further delay, here is a completely biased ranking of vacation spots that Emrata has photographed herself at.
3. Paris, France
Please don’t take this number three ranking as a sign of disrespect to Paris. I’m dying to go to Paris, but compared to the other two places on this list it just doesn’t stack up. Let’s have a look anyways for research purposees.
Goddamn. It’s really hard to get any classier than drinking a glass of wine on the back of a deck boat in a little black dress. I’m almost certain she had an entire photography crew with her on this boat when this picture was taken, because no one looks that good in natural light. I just find it hard to believe.
The hottest woman in the world sitting at a table crushing cigarettes, and well, looking like this. Love cigs. Love Emrat. I also love the fact that she didn’t even bother to smoke half of each cig before putting it out. When you’re that rich and famous, smoking half of a cig is not money wasted. You can just buy more. Or not. You’re rich. Who gives a shit?
Word play. Haha. Nice one, Em. I love burrata too, it’s one of my favorites, although I have to tell you it’s much better in the Italian countryside. I lived in a villa in Tuscany for a week and a half so I would know.
2. Canyon Point, Utah
I had to do some digging to figure out the specifics on this place, but Canyon Point, and more specifically the resort that she stayed at are exclusive as hell. Nevermind that she was on her honeymoon here. We’ll ignore that for the time being and just pretend like that whole ordeal never happened.
That room, that view, the grill inside of the room – all of it would be sick until you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night to take a piss and see a coyote looking at you through the window. No thanks. I don’t care if there’s a plate of glass between us, coyotes are scary. Love the swimsuit, though.
This is just a sick photo. And you can tell by the towel covered bed next to the pool that the resort she’s at is high class. Class just dripping all over the place. I bet they have eucalyptus towels from butlers on demand and any kind of fruit infused water that you can possibly think of. Incredible.
1. Positano/Polignano, Italy
It’s a four hour trek from Polignano a Mare to Positano, but I have a feeling Emily probably took a helicopter there or maybe even fucking teleported. The views she provided from Italy are simply top notch. I’ve been before in case you didn’t know, and even I didn’t get ‘grams off like the following.
Perched atop a 20 meter high limestone cliff, the town of Polignano a Mare is a sight to be seen. With white washed streets and ancient buildings dating back as far as the 4th century BC, you truly cannot go wrong with a visit to this hotspot. Oh yeah, there’s a butt in the picture, too.
Looks like a fuckin’ banger on the beach to me. Only way she got that shot was from a drone or a helicopter. Either way – power move from Emily to not even include herself in the shot.
Rosé on the coast of Positano? Lmao, Emily. I know it was summertime when you were visiting, but you have to be better. Everyone knows that when you’re on the coast you should be drinking Aglianico grapes only aka red wine. I can show you sometime if you want to go back with me.
Bonus
I have no words. I don’t know where this is or if it’s even on vacation. Her life is basically one big vacation so it fucking counts.
Her husband has to be the most confident, secure man on the planet. God bless..
All images via Instagram
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jduda@grandex.co
Duda with more takes that literally no human can disagree with.
Something tells me he’s buttering us up for an awful take of colossal proportions.
Oh for sure, he’s about to come out with some along the lines of “Cat videos are overrated”
Cat videos ARE overrated
Locally here there’s a police unit that adopted a cat, named it Pawciffer Donut and is using it for PR. It’s 115% the most adorable thing ever. I live in a VERY VERY white area.
Emrat is so hot I tried to play it cool when I accidentally mentioned her being sexy in front of my wife. I was corrected with a “oh no I’d fuck her too”. Not many women get that type of response from both genders.
Also, if you can make it through the shit movie, there is some Zac Efron DJ movie but she dances in slow motion in a few scenes and it’s AWESOME.
I can’t really understand why some people get upset about calling celebrities/models sexy. It’s honestly their jobs for the most part and it’s not like you have a chance with them without at least a couple mil in the bank. I can understand random people on the street though (aka genuinely attainable people).
I would disappoint the shit out of her.
This is how you generate clicks, mi amigo
just learned that emrat grew up in the same town i did and went to the other high school. we could have been lovers. my day is ruined.
“Paris still goes” – Will deFries
Her stomach is so flat it is almost concave.
This just made up for every shitty take JD’s ever made
Her butt is insane y’all
Nice work here, Duda.