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Earlier this week, TIME broke the story that Oreo is going to be making a limited edition Cinnamon Bun-Flavored cookie that will feature “a cinnamon cookie” and “cinnamon bun flavored creme.” And of course, the Internet flipped out.
I personally think that sounds kind of gross – if I want a cinnamon bun, I’m just going to go get an actual Cinnabon. But it did get me thinking. When I was a kid, the only Oreo option available was the classic chocolate cookie with vanilla cream. But now, there are like a zillion Oreo options. Ok, maybe not a zillion, but even if you rule out the tons of special edition flavors they come out with, such as Cookie Dough, S’mores, Cotton Candy, and Red Velvet, there are still plenty of Oreo options to choose from. And it’s damn time that someone power ranked them.
14. Peanut Butter
I love peanut butter. I love chocolate. But I do not love weird peanut butter “crème.”
13. Heads and Tails
For those of you that simply cannot decide between the classic Oreo and the golden Oreo, Nabisco decided to bring you the interracial marriage of heads and tails, with one golden cookie and one chocolate cookie. The problem is, as good as they are apart, they are not so good together. Time for a divorce.
12. Lemon Crème /Chocolate Berry Crème Oreo
Nabisco, stop trying to make fruit-flavored Oreos happen! It’s not going to happen!
11. Double Stuf /Triple Stuf Oreo/Mega Stuf
Going against the popular theory that the best part of an Oreo is the cream filing, I actually like the cookie part the best. So the double/triple/mega stuf versions just don’t do it for me. (Insert inappropriate sex joke about getting double/triple stuffed here).
10. Chips Ahoy Oreo Crème
As much as I love Oreos, Chips Ahoy are actually my favorite store bought cookie. I am a plebeian, I know, but I just like a cheap crispy chocolate chip cookie. So you would think that I’d be thrilled with the combination of the Chips Ahoy cookie with the creamy Oreo center, but the results are just meh.
9. White Fudge
Maybe I have a dirty mind, but I can’t get past what it looks like is happening to that cookie on the package. I’ll dip Oreos in lots of things – milk, coffee – but what it looks like it’s getting covered in there is not an option for me – cookie wise, anyway.
8. Reduced Fat
Truth be told, I’m kind of an elitist when it comes to cookies. I bake a lot, so I simply like homemade cookies better. And since a lot of the baking I do is low-fat, I’m definitely a reduced fat cookie snob. But for a store bought reduced fat option, these aren’t bad.
7. Fudge Crèmes
So you are going to take an Oreo and cover it in fudge? Cool. I mean, you could cover pretty much anything in fudge and I’d still eat it, so I’m probably not an unbiased judge in this case.
6. Chocolate Crème
So instead of dipping it in fudge, you just turn the vanilla crème into chocolate? Also cool.
5. Golden Oreo
It’s hard to believe, but sometimes a girl just doesn’t feel like chocolate. I mean, it only happens about once every decade, but it does happen. So Oreo decided to create the cookie for that rare occasion. The only problem is, I’m not exactly sure what the cookie is supposed to taste like.
4. Oreo Thins
Classic Oreos but just thinner so I can eat twice as much and pretend I’m healthy? Sold!
3. Mint Oreo
How much are Thin Mints from the Girl Scouts nowadays? Like $17.99 a box? And never mind that you have to buy them during cookie season and hoard them like an 18 year old virgin hoards porn on his laptop. But luckily now, for about $3.49 a box, you can get this reasonably decent facsimile at your grocery store all year round. And they even come in the “thin” version if you are trying to cut back.
2. Birthday Cake
Originally debuted for Oreo’s 100th anniversary in 2012, they stuck around to become a permanent part of the Oreo line up. And for good reason: as one reviewer on Amazon put it, “They are like having sex on ecstasy.”
1. Classic Oreo
What can I say? I’m a purist at heart. .
Image via Shutterstock
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
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How in the world are Thins ahead of Double Stuf. That’s just un-American.
Now you have me waiting on lunch like
the fact the reduced fat and thins even made the list, i have lost all faith
HOW COULD YOU MISS THE PUMPKIN SPICE OREO!!!!!!!!!!!
via GIPHY
That’s a limited edition, and therefore not considered. READ THE COLUMN, SHIBBY.
Uh Oh Oreos should have gotten an honorable mention though. Those inside out little bastards are the most beautiful mistakes ever made.
Birthday Cake definitely gives the original Oreo a run for its money.
The holiday Oreos are always the best. Halloween, Christmas, spring. The colored creme just tastes better.
I thought everybody’s favorite was just the cookie itself, that’s why eat the filling and just leave the cookies behind
I feel like Fudge Cremes should be higher than the Golden Oreos, but that’s my personal preference. Glad the Classic Oreo is at the top of the list. Can’t mess with perfection.
Double Stuf or GTFO