National Signing Day Once Again Reminded Me That My Life Is Lame

National Signing Day Once Again Reminded Me That My Life Is Lame

Yesterday was National Signing Day, and we saw hundreds of high school kids choose where they would go to college and play football. While many college football fans around the country rejoiced, I was reminded how lame my life actually is.

A lot of the guys sat at a table at their high school and put a hat on, some of them made videos, and some of these guys took it to the next level. A lot of these videos were done with Bleacher Report and were very well edited. Some of the guys drove around town, walked around the neighborhood, played a game of paintball, and then an Ole Miss recruit shut the game down- he went skydiving. I’ve always wanted to go skydiving, and this kid is over here skydiving just to tell the world where he is going to college. You have to respect his power move. When I saw the skydiving video, I had had enough. Deontay Anderson, a high schooler, had just taken a shit on my life.

The coaches are hyping these kids up. Maybe you’ve been following Jim Harbaugh’s recruiting escapades the past few months. He’s baked cakes, sent promposals, and even had his fair share of recruit sleepovers. All these recruits get Harbaugh to get on Snapchat with them, but I can’t even get my dog to take a selfie with me. He even sent letters to recruits’ girlfriends. He got Tom Brady, Derek Jeter, Ric Flair, Migos, and others to come to Michigan just for a signing day event. We can all agree that Harbaugh is a legend.

Sure, these kids have to deal with some adversity. They get tweets from psychotic fans around the country threatening them in all kinds of ways. A guy I played against in high school switched his commitment from South Carolina to Florida at the last minute and soon every Gamecock fan wanted to let him know they were happy he had torn his ACL. But these kids are going to college for free, probably getting some cash on the side, and won’t have to do the majority of their homework. They have more Twitter followers than I have dollars in my bank account. They have girls around the country throwing themselves at them. They’ll be able to get into any party that they want to. They’re going to live the life for the next four or five years.

I wonder what it’s like to be that popular. I chimed in during a meeting a few weeks ago and afterwards one of the directors in the room introduced himself to me. He asked who I was and what my job was, and told me to let him know if I need anything. He also welcomed me to the company and told me a good place to get lunch down the street. I’ve been here 10 months, and I am in the same meeting with him every other week. Texas commit Brandon Jones currently has 3K likes and counting on a single tweet, but I’m lucky to get two likes. High school kids are out here getting congratulations videos from celebrities, and the biggest celebrity interaction I’ve had was when Will deFries followed me back on Twitter.

Don’t worry, most of them won’t even go pro and they’ll soon be sitting at a desk 50 hours a week like the rest of us. At least that’s better than making it big and very quickly pulling a Vince Young or Jamarcus Russell and losing it all.

Just remember, you’re sitting at your desk contemplating life while some kid is skydiving just to announce where he will go to college.

Image via Bleacher Report

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Just a big dude from Virginia who loves Dale Earnhardt, guns, and eating red meat.

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