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Back in the 1960s, business used to get done over pouring a couple fingers of scotch into a cut crystal low ball before two hands shook and then one of those hands passed out cigars, thus confirming that the deal had been done. But today, business no longer transpires over the sacredness of hard liquor and tobacco. It gets done over scorching hot meat, vegetables, and a side plate of lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream, and (if you’re lucky) guacamole.
See, when you’re sitting at a restaurant and you hear a sizzle in the distance, it signals one of two things — business is being done somewhere in the vicinity, or business is about to be done at your table over some classic Tex-Mex fajitas with all the fixings. Business just comes naturally to you when you’re unloading a few forks full of piping hot meat onto a cushy tortilla before absolutely loading it with toppings. When you’re in that moment, you suddenly don’t feel like you’re sitting with friends and colleagues anymore. You’re with family.
Unfortunately, with fajitas as with business, not everyone sees eye-to-eye. Case and point: Dillon Cheverere.
Two weeks ago, we decided to attend Matt’s Famous El Rancho, an Austin Tex-Mex staple that claims the tagline, “Always Good.” And they’re right. I’ve never left there without a belly full of queso and ‘jitas before hitting the town to let off some steam. It is, quite honestly, perfect.
When our waiter approached us, it was assumed we’d go with the normal order. Fajitas for the table, mixed meat, and hella margaritas. Nope, wrong.
“I don’t want your hoe-ass fajitas,” Dillon said to us as we all gasped. “I’m going with the smoked chicken enchiladas with suiza.”
Confused and put off, he clarified that he’s simply not a fajita guy and that we’re all “idiots” for liking “the sizzle.” Surely he had some pent up anger towards us, as he knows that noted Dave started the tradition of Snapchatting the sizzle any time it’s available to him.
The dinner, which had gone from spirits flying high to uncomfortable small talk, began to pick up again as we dove into our second round of margaritas. But alas, the sizzle came. As we all unsheathed our iPhones from our pockets to capture the sizzle in all its glory, Dillon shook his head in embarrassment as if we’d just pantsed him in the middle of gym class in front of the girls. Everything took a nasty turn before the sangria floaters took over and made us forget his complete and utter disdain for one of Tex-Mex’s greatest treasures.
You see, it’s not that I expect that everyone should love everything that I love. That’s unfair and something I deal with every single day. I know Kid Rock is a polarizing figure until you see him in concert and fall in love with this theatrics. I know that not everyone loves lobster because cooking and unshelling a live animal is too savage for them. I get it. Different strokes for different folks.
But this is different. This is isn’t a situation that’s riddled with indifference and apathy. Dillon has a hatred for fajitas, as if there’s some type of skeleton in his closet casting a dark shadow on every sizzle he hears. If the notion of fajitas even comes up in casual conversation (which happens way more in Texas than I ever expected), he shuts down before coming at me hard and lashes me with words.
Fear in the workplace is a scary thing. It’s debilitating and causes a lot of people great anxiety. Me? I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t enjoy sizzling fajitas and discuss it with my friends without worrying about my superiors coming down on me and telling me to get my head out of my ass and enjoy some “real food.”
After all, why even slave away at work if I can’t enjoy the fruits of my labor in the form of $12.99 fajitas come Friday night? .
Also read My Coworker Is Wearing A Hilariously Large T-Shirt And I Really Want To Roast Him.
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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Brian loved fajitas from Chili’s…
I hate everything you stand for, Dorn.
Nah, don’t believe you
Dorn. I used to have so much respect for you, I always told myself if I ever ran into you I’d buy you a drink and offer to buy you a round of golf. Now, I hope your choke on your enchiladas.
PS- your golf swing is a disgrace to the game.
What could Mr. Bean have possibly done to earn your respect?
Dorn be like
Ok, now I see it.
Will is Brian, Brian is Will. The fajitas article makes it so.
Does this mean Gil moved to a new city and changed his name to Todd?
Michael Scott: Here’s the thing. Chili’s is the new golf course. It’s where business happens. Small Business Man Magazine.
Jan: It said that?
Michael Scott: It will. I sent it in. Letter to the editor.
‘Jitas already an early candidate for abbreviation of the year. Well put deFries.
I’m siding with Dillon because I think it is insufferable to share pictures of your dinner on social media. Come at me haters.
I think Dorn needs to fajit the road
Hate to do this, fully siding with Dillon. While y’all are preparing your own fajita taco, with likely half of it falling out, Dillon and every other enchilada guy is already dominating their delicious plate with nothing but a fork and empty stomach.
Making a fajita is my own version of DIY
Sheldon Cooper echoes my sentiments here. *Snarkily* “Oh wonderful! Dinner, some assembly required!”
I call bullshit on that business. Maybe in the comfort of my own home, I could enjoy building my own meal. But when I go out to restaurants, I want the work to be done by the experts.
Never enough cheese for my fajitas
Sounds like a great band name
queso-covered burrito, best of both worlds. Quick and cheesy.
Gotta be real honest here, fam. Went to Chilis for some ‘jitas after reading this and got hella hella food poisoning…
Yeah but Dillion only does it to be an ass.
I’m glad someone sees where I come from on that stance. I don’t go out to eat to pay for food I have to put any effort whatsoever into making. Lobster, Fajitas same level. Both for foolish consumers. Gimme the chimis or get me outta there.
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