Maybe It’s Time To Take Off The Jersey

You're A Grown Man – Take Off The Jersey

I’m a huge sports fan. I follow my college alma mater’s football team religiously, as well as some pro teams I’ve been a fan of since I was a kid. Being raised in the south meant your Saturdays in the fall were full of BBQ and football from 9 a.m. until around midnight. We would gather around with family and friends to watch Alabama football, and for 4+ hours we would all yell expletives at the TV typically directed at some 20-year-old kid who was probably still recovering from a bender earlier that week. With that being said, we need to tackle a serious issue with sports fans that I’ve never understood and am staunchly against – grown ass men wearing a player’s jersey.

I mean how do you feel good about yourself walking out of the house as let’s say, a 30-something-year-old man wearing some players jersey who’s in his early 20s? When you were in college this dude was probably in middle school, and more than likely still in better shape than you. It gets even worse as you get older. A 40-something-year-old man who is usually about 60 pounds overweight wearing some young athletes jersey immediately makes me want to vomit, and should involve some type of mandatory fine. Does no one else realize how lame this looks? Am I taking crazy pills?

I just need to know how you leave the house on a game day, look in the mirror, and say “Yeah, this is a look I’m good with for today.” Let’s get one thing clear- you look like an ultimate clown dressed like this and I assure you that you’re not pulling it off. To watch a grown man wear another grown man’s jersey is like witnessing one of the most emasculating events in this dude’s life, and they don’t even realize it. Not to mention they just look terrible on anyone. Even Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson couldn’t make one of these things look good.

Also, what happens if this player gets traded or leaves during free agency? You just blew $100 on a jersey that’s now worthless, and you probably hate the guy for leaving your team. After you down a bottle of green label Evan Williams you’ll end up burning the jersey while wiping away your own tears. With plenty of other clothing choices out there to support your team, why choose the lamest of all options?

There are plenty of other acceptable ways to support the team you root for, so for the love of all that is holy put down the jersey and put on something acceptable for grown men to wear. I imagine this article will get a lot of negative feedback if published, but I honestly could care less. It needed to be said out loud.

Let the hate begin.

Image via Shutterstock

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Walton Dalton

Favorite spot was the Waffle House.

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