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I’m a huge sports fan. I follow my college alma mater’s football team religiously, as well as some pro teams I’ve been a fan of since I was a kid. Being raised in the south meant your Saturdays in the fall were full of BBQ and football from 9 a.m. until around midnight. We would gather around with family and friends to watch Alabama football, and for 4+ hours we would all yell expletives at the TV typically directed at some 20-year-old kid who was probably still recovering from a bender earlier that week. With that being said, we need to tackle a serious issue with sports fans that I’ve never understood and am staunchly against – grown ass men wearing a player’s jersey.
I mean how do you feel good about yourself walking out of the house as let’s say, a 30-something-year-old man wearing some players jersey who’s in his early 20s? When you were in college this dude was probably in middle school, and more than likely still in better shape than you. It gets even worse as you get older. A 40-something-year-old man who is usually about 60 pounds overweight wearing some young athletes jersey immediately makes me want to vomit, and should involve some type of mandatory fine. Does no one else realize how lame this looks? Am I taking crazy pills?
I just need to know how you leave the house on a game day, look in the mirror, and say “Yeah, this is a look I’m good with for today.” Let’s get one thing clear- you look like an ultimate clown dressed like this and I assure you that you’re not pulling it off. To watch a grown man wear another grown man’s jersey is like witnessing one of the most emasculating events in this dude’s life, and they don’t even realize it. Not to mention they just look terrible on anyone. Even Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson couldn’t make one of these things look good.
Also, what happens if this player gets traded or leaves during free agency? You just blew $100 on a jersey that’s now worthless, and you probably hate the guy for leaving your team. After you down a bottle of green label Evan Williams you’ll end up burning the jersey while wiping away your own tears. With plenty of other clothing choices out there to support your team, why choose the lamest of all options?
There are plenty of other acceptable ways to support the team you root for, so for the love of all that is holy put down the jersey and put on something acceptable for grown men to wear. I imagine this article will get a lot of negative feedback if published, but I honestly could care less. It needed to be said out loud.
Let the hate begin. .
Image via Shutterstock
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For my own downvote into oblivion, I’m way more bothered by the fact that you said you “could care less” when you clearly meant “couldn’t care less.”
Welcome to the “down vote into oblivion for genial shit” club.
I honestly expected to be at roughly -15 by now.
Completely agree. It’s up there with people that walk slow and people that chew with their mouth open.
Dude, it was one typo. My sincerest apologies for upsetting you on a Friday, though.
“We talking bout typos, man!”
Nah man, it’s all good – just a pet peeve from the number of people that have tried to defend that as being the actual phrase when it makes no sense.
Yeah or like when people say “nip it in the butt”. Holy Christ its “bud”!
*It’s
As long was we’re on the correction train.
as*
It’s a bad one to make, but after re-reading this 5 times it tends to run together…It’s also Friday so keep those vibes positive.
So like are you going to propose an alternative or did you just need to rant?
Pretty sure a polo / golf shirt is a more appropriate alternative.
oxfords and quarter-zips are also acceptable.
Basically anything you can get away with at work on a casual Friday is acceptable.
I’ve just never understood the appeal of putting another man’s name on my back. Makes no sense to me.
100%
So what’s the age cutoff? What if the jersey you rock is a franchise player??? As a 24 year old college grad that uses the majority of his parents’ Indianapolis Colts season tickets, I rock the shit out of both my Andrew Luck and Peyton Manning jersey.
Just get a Colts Polo and long sleeve tee.
Is it alright to wear my John Stockton jersey or my Michael Jordan Space Jam Jersey? I crave for your approval!
If you can’t rep a Tune Squad jersey free from persecution than nothing is sacred.
90’s era Champion brand NBA jerseys are the perfect mid summer BBQ attire.
Of course it looks goofy, that’s the point. When I’m done slaving away in my cube all week, throwing on a jersey is a big middle finger to all the uptight drones obsessed with looking proper and climbing the corporate ladder.
I’ll wear my mustard stained Vinny Testaverde jersey while eating nachos and drinking bud heavy all I want DONT TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE
Honestly, who gives a fuck? I’m a huge Michigan fan/alum and still follow the team very closely. There are players on the team that (while younger than me) I am a big fan of. I don’t even have a UM football jersey, but I don’t care if other people my age wear them to games. You’re supporting the team.
You have a point…. but while you silently judge my Elway throwback, I’m too busy stuffing wings into my face/stealing your girl to care.
Wearing a jersey on game-day is perfectly fine.
So dress like I’m going to church? Sounds fun
Jerseys are a symbol of your commitment to the team you root for. If I arrive at a tailgate and see a group of people wearing jerseys or wearing regular gear, I’m going to party with the first group because I know they are probably the season ticket holders and master tailgaters and the real deal. Anyone can go out and buy a $40 generic shirt to wear, but the fact that you Are willing to drop 100 dollars on a jersey knowing those risks is true loyalty. Plus, that player might be legendary and even if they do leave or retire, the jersey becomes invaluable because it honors what they did while they were still a part of the team. A man wearing another man’s jersey is just fine. And you call yourself a sports fan…
But I didn’t see anything about females in this article so none of these dumb rules apply to me right?
As long as it’s not a pink jersey. To me, that’s a much bigger problem
To me there’s no hotter foreplay ensemble than a girl wearing your favorite team’s jersey and nothing else.