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Welcome to the PGP Mailbag, wherein I will answer questions from you, our readers. Send your questions to dillon@grandex.co.
Help dude.
I’ve always had a pretty awesome social life. Until now – I’m in a bit of a downward spiral…
I moved to a big city after college for grad school and to keep up with the higher cost of living, I had to get two jobs. That, on top of loads of classwork, means I had very little free time. I had friends and stuff I knew through people and fraternity brothers in the area, but after a while having to keep saying “Can’t – I got work/class/a huge assignment”, the boys are just like “Ok fuck it, he’s always busy”.
Now that I’m almost done, quit my side hustle, and have free time finally, I’ve pretty much lost all my friends. I never get invited anywhere anymore and even my cousin ignores my texts when I try to reach out. And now with the new Snapchat update, I have a map of all my friends’ Bitmojis showing me what a fucking loser I am in cartoon form as I sit and watch their Snapstories at the bar I used to get invited to.
In short, I’m pretty sure all of my old friendships have bit the dust. How do I make new friends from scratch?
Get your dick back out there. Fuck you mean your old friendships have bit the dust? They’re not done simply because you became too busy. They didn’t give up on you for personal reasons. They quit asking you to chill because you kept having to turn them down. Not anymore, though.
Let those fuckers know Big Dick is back in town. You’re high if you think sitting back and waiting for an invite is the way to an active social life. Make moves.
Hey Dillon, long time fan of the pod & the site. Figured I’d see if I could get your take on long distance relationships. I know a lot of couples deal with this postgrad (myself included- 2 years in a LDR after graduation), but what are you thoughts on the topic? Is it worth the hassle or just a waste of time?
I’m not a fan. I know if mutual feelings are intense enough, people will do anything to make it work, long distance included. But unless you’re certain this is the person for you longterm, it seems like a whole lot of wasted opportunity to meet people in your city.
I’d avoid it unless it’s just not an option.
This question is for Dillon, Jenna, and anyone else in the PGP community with some advice. I need some help coming up with a workout plan/routine. I’ve always been a fairly active person and eat well. I’m currently a member of a great gym that offers a ton of classes that I go to semi-regularly (mainly cycle and sometimes yoga). But as far as strength training, I have no idea what I’m doing or where to start. Weights also really intimidate me. I don’t really have the extra cash to shell out for a trainer and I’m not trying to lose weight – I’m fairly comfortable where I am. But I am trying to tone up and be a little healthier. Any tips on how to get started? Thanks in advance.
The first time hitting weights in a public setting is intimidating for everyone, so everyone around you can relate, because they were once where you are. I will still see someone trying a machine I’m unfamiliar with and try it out when they’re done while feeling like a fool. It’s just part of it. Hopefully that makes you feel a little more comfortable. If you’re too intimidated to try lifting weights in a public gym, go to your apartment fitness center when no one is in it and feel your way around the place. It’s all pretty basic stuff.
A good weight routine for absolute beginners is a full body workout, three days a week (Monday, Wednesday, Friday). Pick two basic exercises for each muscle group (bench press/pushups and dumbbell flys for chest, for example) and do low weight, high reps for each set.
• two sets for chest
• two sets for arms
• two sets for legs
• two sets for shoulders
• two sets for back
Mix in core once or twice a week for 15 minutes. As this becomes easy for you, look up more advanced routines. The internet is full of them.
Hey Dillon! I love the site and especially Touching Base so I figured I could reach out for your opinion. I’ll try to keep this short and sweet but still give enough background for you to give some advice.
I met a guy at a bar about 4 months ago and we hit it off immediately. Since that night we’ve talked everyday, gone to concerts and weddings together, gone away for long weekends and I’ve met some of his family. We see each other usually twice a week and have spent every weekend together. We always have a great time, our friends all get along and it’s been so much fun. BUT from the beginning he has said he didn’t want a serious relationship.
We’re both 30 and obviously what we’ve been doing is a relationship so I don’t know what he thinks will change other than actually saying he has a girlfriend. Recently it’s all we’ve been talking about (“what’re we doing, should we keep hanging out or be done?”) I finally said I cant keep having the same conversations again so I don’t think we should keep hanging out. I don’t want to it to be over but I think after spending this much time together it was time to shit or get off the pot.
It’s only been a couple days and we’ve texted a little just saying we feel shitty about not seeing each other anymore- so did I do the right thing? Should we re-evaluate after a little while longer apart if were both still unhappy? Or should we just stop talking completely and move on? Any suggestions would be great!
“BUT from the beginning he has said he didn’t want a serious relationship.”
Upfront and honest. You have to appreciate it.
“We’re both 30 and obviously what we’ve been doing is a relationship so I don’t know what he thinks will change other than actually saying he has a girlfriend.”
What will change is he will enter into an exclusive relationship, something he doesn’t want and isn’t ready for. That’s his decision and he told you about it from the jump. He’s doing it right. You may not like what he’s doing, but he’s doing it right.
“I think after spending this much time together it was time to shit or get off the pot.”
I think you’re right. After four months it’s probably time to wear that relationship label. You both clearly like each other, so this is just an unfortunate matter of your wants not aligning at this moment in time. Yeah, I think you did the right thing. It seems like if you want to be in his life, you have to be okay with that being in a role that is not his girlfriend. For now, anyway.
Hey Dillon,
I’m a young lawyer getting ready to move to a resort town where golf is king. As in, almost everyone golfs, and despite it being rather rural (or because of this), there are at least 10 golf courses within 15 miles, including a couple championship level courses. The issue is that I am quite terrible at golf, with my only redeeming factor being that I’m not too bad off the tee (I’m sure practice/lessons would help, but 250k in student loans is stopping that). Any advice on how to avoid golf without being ostracized from the business community? Or is the only solution to get better at it?
Get better at it. All you need is a swing that can’t be made fun of and the ability to get around the course well enough that you’re not holding up the group. The golf course is so much more than a venue to play the game. It’s where relationships are forged and deals are done. It’s for locker room talk and man bonding. It’s for drunken cart rides and friendly shit talking. Your golf game is a business tool.
You don’t need to be breaking 80 in the next 12 months or anything, but you do need to look like you’ve been playing for a while. You need to look respectable.
Hey Dillon, in a bit of a pickle this week, and I need some answers, please note that all questions are related to each other. Please delete if you feel like forwarding to the police.
1) What’s your favorite classic car (pre-1985, this means no miata)
2) What’s the best way to hide a body?
3) Best wrapper in the game right now?
4) Best rapper in the game right now?
5) Best meal to order at chilis?
1) I’m not much of a car guy. I have always liked Porsches, though. And I appreciate that they’ve kept the same basic body lines for decades, but I can’t begin to throw a specific model or year at you without doing five minutes of research. You’re not worth five extra minutes of my time, Willy.
2) Strapping it to something heavy and dropping it off a bridge into a deep body of water always seemed like the play for me.
3) The ones that are the most identifiable. #Branding. M&Ms come to mind.
4) Ye
5) It’s technically an appetizer but I fuck with the Southwestern eggrolls..
The more questions I receive, the better this series is going to be, so send me your Mailbag questions to dillon@grandex.co and please put “Mailbag” in the subject line.
Respond
Dillon Cheverere
Dillon Cheverere is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email: dillon@grandex.co
@dcheverere
@dcheverere
RogerJDorn
To the first dude, your friends will either be happy your back and able to hang out or they were shitty friends. Being busy is a lot different than ditching them
To the girl with the kind-of-sort-of relationship – YES! You did the right thing. You’re both 30. Your wishy-washy 20s are over. If he wants to have the kind of comfort and support of having a girl always around, but can’t actually admit how important she is to him, then he doesn’t deserve you.
Find a guy who will actually appreciate what he has with you and isn’t afraid to admit it.
I’m single
Me too. Because I refuse to settle for guys who don’t have their shit together.
I think this is the part where I say “Sup?”
This is way too real to me right now. After 5 months, I had to initiate a break up with a guy I’m crazy about because he’s afraid to commit. It feels horrible right now, but I know in my gut we should never settle for someone who isn’t all in for us.
Also, sup?
To the guy who needs friends, sign up for everything dude. Beer league sports, charity groups, any and all social clubs, basically just get really involved in your community and you will make friends quick.
Those are all great ideas. Also, to echo Dillion’s response, one good thing you could do is also invite a bunch of people out for something like trying a restaurant or bar none of you have been before, and do it regularly, such as once a month. I’ve done that, and it’s a great way to balance everyone’s schedules, while also making new friends.
Golf guy. Are you moving to Aiken, South Carolina??
Aiken Brewing is awesome.
Aiken is such a hidden jewel of the south
At no point in his life has Kanye West been the best current rapper/wrapper out there.
Does Kanye rap while wrapping Christmas gifts for North and Saint?
Am I the only one who thought we were talking about love gloves here and not literal wrappers?
Yes he has.
Some golf advice. Stick to the putting greens. Learn to read and find your speed. It’s the most cost effective since you can putt at almost every one of those courses for free. Start there and work your way backwards on the course. It has helped me a ton.
Golf Guy,
Most people suck at golf. You’ll be fine after a little practice, if you have any athletic ability. You’ll always suck. That’s golf. I love it.
Fitness- Internet, Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter. So. Many. Workouts. Plenty of machines are actually super self explanatory. Just pretend youre picking music on your phone while youre trying to figure out what youre about to do. And pray the machine doesn’t need to be adjusted (I’ve been machine stalked at the gym before and its creepy af. dont do that)
Sup
To the fitness dude, you’ve never lifted much so just stick to body weight exercises (push-ups, pull-ups, squats, lunges, jumps, etc). You’ll get a ton out of them. And it’ll groove the movement pattern for the weighted progressions of each exercise
To golf guy- see if you can talk to your firm’s marketing person. If there’s some fundraiser golf outings coming up you’d be able to go to, maybe a couple lessons could get written off as a business development expense if they’re feeling generous.
Personal lessons aren’t in the budget, sorry Golf Guy.