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Welcome to the PGP Mailbag, wherein I will answer questions from you, our readers. Send your questions to dillon@grandex.co. All topics welcome.
Whattup Dilly Bar,
I am writing to you during this fine Monday commute to describe a dating experience I recently had. Went on a date with this girl and it was a solid date over drinks at one of my favorite post-work bars. Things went well, despite the fact that we both had prior arrangements immediately following the date (so no post-drinks time), and we both were really engaged with each other and ended up staying later than planned. Around rolls the next day, and I texted her to let her know I enjoyed the previous evening, to which she agreed. When I broached the subject of a second date, radio silence.
I’m not looking for advice, but I was hoping that you would include this anyway as a PSA that ghosting is for lose-bags and anyone who does it should be ostracized. If this correspondence prevents even one Casper-ass from performing his/her ghastly deed, then I’ll chalk it as a W.
One love ✌
I’m with this guy. Ghosting is a trash move for trash people, and you deserve shitty karma if you do this. Obviously, the further into a relationship, the more felonious the infraction. That doesn’t make it okay even after one date, however.
All it takes at that point is five seconds crafting a text message. “Thanks for last night but I’m not interested in a second date” or “I didn’t feel a connection.” That’s it, people. Stop being scum.
Don’t ghost. Ghosting is for assholes. I got you, player. One love back at you.
Long time, first time. I need to use some PTO and randomly put together a weeklong itinerary for a road trip heavily built around some bucket list golf courses, and I’m going solo. Currently planning Charlottsville > Pinehurst > Asheville > Chattanooga > Jackson MS > Dallas, leaving in a couple weeks.
Am I a psycho for trying this, especially since I may get paired with random people on the course? Any tips for exploring new cities solo and making sure I don’t go crazy? Happy to hear some local tips from the comment section.
I won’t go as far to call you a psycho but doing an extravagant golf trip like this by yourself is definitely NOT the move. I love playing golf. LOVE it. BUT, as much fun as it is, it is so much better when you play with your boys.
Even if you could play solo, it’s still not the move. You are very likely going to be paired up with strangers, though. Playing with strangers is the woooooorst. You can’t let expletives fly, you can’t propose stupid bets or play games like Wolf, and you can’t talk shit when your boy shanks one or misses a three footer. And what about pictures? You doing selfies the whole trip? Not a good look.
I know your trip is already booked but I’d hit your boys up to see if any of them want to come with. At least for parts of it.
Mr. Chevererererererererere,
So I have been dating a fine young woman for a year now, but due to certain work situations and a lot of bad timing, I have never met her father aside from post sporting event, brief 2 minute hello-goodbye. They are close, but not the closest father-daughter relationship, I have however spent time with her stepfather a few times. We finally manage to get a time to go out (after many attempts by me to get this going), last night, and hit up a local pizza place. 4 people, 4 side salads, 2 pies, and no drinks, they just don’t drink so I avoided it so as to not be the only one drinking. Bill came to $73 + $15 tip = $88.
When it arrived however, no one reached for it. Instinctively, because I wasn’t going to try and haggle with my girl’s father and he wasn’t making an imminent move, I just went for it and picked up the bill. Nothing was said about it aside from a courteous “Thank you” when we left. I need some advice because I feel like I just big-timed her Dad because I was in an awkward situation, but he wasn’t making a play for the bill. I believe letting the check sit there unattended would have made me look like I wanted a free meal though. Thoughts?
– Eric
Cleveland, Ohio
Ps. Go Knights Go!
First of all, thanks for spelling my name correctly. Eleven non-consecutive Es. People forget that.
No, I don’t think you big-timed him at all. As you said, you can’t sit there idly while that bill is staring everyone in the face like the proverbial elephant in the room/on the table. That’s awkward as shit. And the longer it sits, the bigger that elephant grows.
Might I suggest that he was the one big-timing you? Like hey, kid. You’re sleeping with my daughter? Well guess what. You’re buying my dinner and you’re gonna like it. And I will sit here as long as excruciatingly possible until you reach for that motherfucker.
At the end of the day, though, you did the right thing.
P.S. Congrats on locking down a fine young woman.
Yo Dillon,
1st time long time, etc.
So I recently reconnected with an ex (sort of the one who got away). Pretty randomly ran into each other for a party with mutual friends. The same connection was there still, maybe stronger, even though we haven’t spoken in 2-3 years.
The problem is, she’s married now. Nothing happened between us there other than conversations, but we’ve been texting a lot, phone calls, and saw each other again recently. If we keep doing this, something will happen soon, that’s just the way it’s heading. It only hasn’t happened yet because we’re holding back due to the whole situation. She’s supposedly discussing with him currently about a divorce, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here (I’m single). I don’t know the guy, and I’m not sure what I owe him/their marriage if anything.
Do I need to back off until there is a legit separation, or is it kind of not my concern? I don’t want to be “that guy”, but I also don’t want to end up not giving this another chance if it’s possibility. Things not working out the first time for stupid reasons has been a big regret of mine. But I could really use an objective POV to get my bearings here.
Thanks for the help, I need it.
“Do I need to back off until there is a legit separation?”
Yes. The right thing to do is to let her know that you’re backing away until she decides to split from her husband. And if she never does, you have to respect it and leave it alone.
I know that you know this already and only needed to hear it from a neutral third party, so here you go. You should also encourage her to make any tough marital decisions based on their relationship alone, and not the prospect of a relationship with you. Remove yourself from the equation as much as possible and let her/them sort it out with clear heads.
Dillon,
What’re your thoughts on ass tats for females? My more conservative friends are veeeery against me getting one, but I also have a bunch of friends that are all for it, and would want to get one with me. I’m talking something pretty small, like a little symbol or one word in black. The idea of getting one started as a joke, but I think they’re fun/don’t really matter considering the few people that will actually see it. ALSO I’m accepting ideas on what to get, because that’s currently undecided (help me out in the comments, people).
Thanks for the column, it and PGP articles in general make me feel more okay about graduating and entering the real world!
Ass tats are half-commitment tats. Yes, you’re getting a very real tattoo that is permanently on your body, but as you said, it’s covered up unless you’re either naked or in a thong. In both cases, you’re either alone or with someone you trust.
Ass tats are the safest way to get into the tat game since they’re so easy to cover up. And I think they’re kind of sexy, tbh. Girl, get you that ass tat. You deserve it. Here’s my recommendation:
I should also tell you that tattoos are addicting. Your first tat is like a gateway drug. There are thousands of tatted up people walking the streets who were “only getting one” at one point. Just be mindful.
P.S. I may or may not have one myself..
The more questions I receive, the better this series is going to be, so send me your Mailbag questions to dillon@grandex.co and please put “Mailbag” in the subject line.
Respond
Dillon Cheverere
Dillon Cheverere is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email: dillon@grandex.co
@dcheverere
@dcheverere
RogerJDorn
Do not be a homewrecker. That’s all I’ve got to offer here.
Co sign. Also, if she’s doing this with you to her husband, I’m going out on a limb to say she probably isn’t that great of a person
Not to mention they’ve probably only been married for one, maybe two years and she already wants a divorce.
I never understood why anyone would want to get with someone who was married/in a relationship.. if they’re willing to end that relationship to be with you, then they’d be willing to end the relationship with you to be with someone else down the road. Do better.
Because the letter writer thinks this newly rekindled connection is about her wanting to be with him, while there’s a 95% chance that it’s about her being unhappy in her marriage.
I practiced divorce law for a few years and had more than one repeat customer in just this situation. Got divorced for someone else, married the new person, then got divorced again quickly for another new person.
B I L L A B L E
H O U R S
My neighbor almost ended up like that, but luckily, he and the woman he cheated with realized they were a terrible couple. Which is another reason letter writer should get on with his life until the marriage ends on its own- if someone breaks up their marriage to be with you, that puts all kinds of pressure on that relationship to work, and you’re going to make bad decisions.
And don’t let yourself be used for her cheap emotional support. Get far away from that woman.
I like to call this type of scum bag move the “insurance policy.” Never be someone’s out from their current relationship.
If she’d do that to her husband, it’s not unreasonable to think she wouldn’t do that to you.
In retrospect, Dillon being an ass-tat guy should have been obvious.
None of us knew it but none of us are surprised to hear it either.
I feel like this wasn’t news. He definitely said it on one of the earlier podcasts.
Ya Dillon came out about it a while back, but that may have been in the Roger Dorn days
Hey if your girl’s dad isn’t going to pay for dinner, make sure he knows you’re daddy now. The only thing I’d worry about it what tip to leave.
And ladies, if you’re gonna get an ass tat just make sure it’s a target. Anything else is just tacky
I had a girl once say “Dad, meet Daddy.” I left, never to talk to any of them again.
That’s a whole new level of daddy issues I didn’t think existed.
I call b.s.
Unfortunately not. It’s has taken over over the role of “remember when you did that embarrassing thing when you 9” thought right before you go to sleep.
That level of crazy is a bit of a turn on. Yes, I’ve recently come to terms that I’m attracted to crazy and I have been subconsciously trying to self destruct my life… Help?
CHEVERERERERERERE HAS AN ASS-TAT
i was 18
Friend got an ass tat of squidward on senior week when he was 18 so you’re not alone
A friend of mine that goes to USC has “Cocks” tattoo on his ass
solo golf trip guy. if youre in asheville around memorial day lets get a beer
Damn, getting dates from PGP. Power moves.
Decided to go with less golf but road trip including Asheville around Memorial Day is still on, sup?
sup?
PGP is live and well In pinehurst. Highly recommend Maxies for drinks and food if you come though
If you hit a hole in one and no one is around to see it, is it a hole in one?
No, unfortunately not. Enjoy trying to get your friend to believe you
Hooked up with a girl a few months ago that surprised me with an ass tat. Really puts off a “Yeah, I’m hot, but we can also get high and play video games after this,” kinda vibe. I dug it.
As someone who’s trying to convince his friends to get an ass-tat because it’s hilarious and always a good story, I’m with ya.
Also…… get an Astronaut or like a batman symbol. Astronaut bc ass and ya know, moon.
Get an astronaut floating away from the asshole and have the tether drawn to it as if it just got pushed out into a different dimension lol
This… All of this.
you’re my favorite
Best tattoo I ever saw was the USDA prime logo on someones ass.
Ass tat girl…
Sup?
Sup