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It seems that Macaulay Culkin is done with being forgotten and, in true childhood star fashion, taking it upon himself to start a musical career. Instead of following the norm and recording songs about first loves and heartbreak over a beat that was created by a crumby entry-level employee on GarageBand, he decided to take a more comedic root with his band Pizza Underground, a cover band of Velvet Underground. While performing in Nottingham at the Dot to Dot Festival, our dearest Kevin McCallister (can I still call you that, Macaulay?) was pelted with beers and booed off the stage.
After the beer can warzone had commenced by a few degenerates who obviously have no affinity for classic 90s movies, Culkin responded, “Why are you throwing those? I’d rather drink them!” To which I responded in my mind to no one in particular, “Why are you singing about Pizza? Why aren’t you just eating it?”
Funny you should say that…
The band was soon forced to retreat after an onslaught of booing by a couple of fans in their audience of ones of people. They soon issued this formal apology that hit double digits in both retweets and favorites.
Thank you so much Nottingham and dot to dot. Sorry that a couple people ruined it for everyone.
— pizza underground (@cheesedayz) May 25, 2014
A word of advice to young musicians out there trying to chase the dream: 1) Don’t make a mockery of pizza. Pizza is a present from the heavens that we are not worthy of, and trying to make a comedic routine of it is bound to get you insta-booed off stage. 2) Don’t accidently weasel your way out of vacay with your family. It’ll lead to a life of drugs and pizza cover band attempts.