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Halloween fucking rules. Every year I jump back and forth between that and Christmas as my favorite holiday. I could give you a huge spiel about how it gives you the opportunity to truly be who you want to be for the night or promotes self expression, but at the end of the day I just really like getting drunk in costumes. Hopefully, I’m not the only one.
What I do know is that going to a Halloween party is the best move you can make on the most magically spooky night of the year. You save some money and get to kick it with friends in a much more laid back setting. Plus, if you don’t know how you’re getting home, you can always crash at the party and leave in the morning. Can’t do that in a bar. No, sir.
Well, this year, my roommate and I decided to up the ante. Instead of just going to a Halloween party, we were going to host one. And damn it, we were going to go all out. Here we are, a few days later, and I can say with 95% certainty that the party was a huge success. I say 95% because I don’t remember a lot of the night, but everyone told me it was great.
Anyway, with this being the first event I have ever thrown as an adult, it would be wrong of me not to share the key takeaways and lessons I’ve learned. Here’s where we landed.
Going to a party on Halloween is a money saver. Throwing a party on Halloween is not.
Yeah, I was surprised too. I think the reason this caught me off guard was because I’m officially getting to an age where I have to start supplying things to my guests. Gone are the days of showing up to a barren apartment in a half assed costume with cheap booze and low expectations. Now, between the Stranger Things Alphabet Wall, the Snapchat geofilter, the booze we’re already supplying to our friends, the fire pit, the other decorations, and the booze for myself, we’re dropping a pretty penny. Not necessarily a bad thing, just something to consider, you know?
Never underestimate the cleverness of your friends.
Look, it’s not like I thought any of my friends were dumb. Far from it. However, I feel like I have a conversation every week about how we can’t figure out how people come up with some of that clever shit you see on the internet. Well, last weekend, we figured out that everyone has the potential for that, it just needs to be tapped.
I’m not sure if it’s because we’re all making money now, or if it’s because we’ve gotten so good at putting maximum effort into doing the least amount of work possible, but the costumes this year seemed to be off the charts. Here’s an abbreviated list of what we saw:
-Bella Trix Are For Kids (couples costume, Bellatrix Lestrange from Harry Potter and the Trix rabbit)
-A cabana boy (dude with a tray of tropical drinks glued to it that served us shots)
-John Travolta and Uma Thurman from Pulp Fiction
-Eleven
Nice work, everyone. I was into it.
Costumes with props are the most fun.
I never liked prop costumes for Halloween. It was another thing you had to carry around, would get super inconvenient, and usually would end up destroyed by the end of the night. But now? Well, now they’re a sign of balls to it in your costume. See that cabana boy listed above? That dude walked around with a tray of shots all night, I shit you not. Homie was the life of the party.
As for me, well, let’s just say I was a professor of sorts.
You can bet your ass that bull whip saw some action on Saturday night. I’m not even talking about in the bedroom. I mean that I woke up Sunday morning to snaps of myself and others drunkenly whipping beer bottles off of tables. *Wh-tchhh*
I’m not sure how nobody walked away without so much as a welt, but hey, I’m not going to question it. The point is, having a prop with your costume gives you something to play with while you’re drunk. And isn’t that what we’re all looking for anyway?.
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Charlie
Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism since 1993. At any given moment I'm either tired, drunk, or stressed out. Get at me at charliepgp@gmail.com or whatever.
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“Plus, if you don’t know how you’re getting home, you can always crash at the party and leave in the morning. Can’t do that in a bar. No, sir.”
Unless you’re that poor soul from this week’s worst reader submitted stories who woke up in the bar’s deep freezer.
Did your friends offer to give you money? I say throwing a $5 or $10 to the host for providing the booze is a nice gesture
I’m only 25 but feel like my friend group is past this too. Sometimes people will without anyone asking, but I’m more of a fan of people who bring some booze to the party as a reciprocation than throwing up money for something.
If you’re not in college anymore you should not expect anyone to kick in any amount of money. Everyone should bring some booze though.
Whip has to be one of the most overlooked badass weapons of all time. Very few weapons can do damage during the day then be used to spice up the bedroom with your lady (or man) friend at night.
Someone should have read Shibby’s article on how to throw a great party…
His article literally says: 1) Bring berries. 2) Raw salmon is a must. 3) Expect shedding.
Throwing a party for a bear is a lot of work.
Hosted our 4th annual Halloween party this past weekend and kept up with the tradition of passing out in on my living room floor mid party. Try doing that a bar.