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I was happily reminded this morning that John Boehner has been putting on an unprecedented retirement clinic since leaving Congress in 2015. As we covered last year, Boehner essentially threw a middle finger to life as a public servant and set fire to any rumor that he’d consider making a run at the White House:
“I drink red wine. I smoke cigarettes. I golf. I cut my own grass. I iron my own clothes. And I’m not willing to give all that up to be president.”
What a quote. Old news, yes, but worth revisiting because news dropped today that ol’ fake tan havin’ ass is getting into the cannabis game and joining the board of Acreage Holdings, one of the largest cannabis corporations in the U.S. Yes, the man who was once “unalterably opposed” to decriminalizing marijuana is about to get his hands dirty.
I’m joining the board of #AcreageHoldings because my thinking on cannabis has evolved. I’m convinced de-scheduling the drug is needed so we can do research, help our veterans, and reverse the opioid epidemic ravaging our communities. @AcreageCannabis https://t.co/f5i9KcQD0W
— John Boehner (@SpeakerBoehner) April 11, 2018
Save some of that wokeness for the rest of us, John. I guess I could sit here and type up a thousand words applauding John for joining 2018, but that would just be burying the lede. The big takeaway here is that retired John Boehner is still a force of nature. He cannot be reckoned with. You thought your dad had a midlife crisis when he took some jiu-jitsu classes and bought a vespa? That’s child’s play. I have no doubt in my mind that John jumped on this venture after learning about it during a 500-a-hole WOLF game. In fact, I bet this started as a bit that would make his group text laugh (shits and gigs), and then he actually saw the financial projections and realized he was about to stack.
It’s also worth mentioning that that current Speaker Of The House Paul Ryan just announced that he will not be seeking reelection. I don’t want to ruffle any feathers, but I don’t expect Paul’s post-congressional activities to mirror Boehner’s. Even when John was taking it in the slacks for crying on multiple occasions, I knew he had a bad boy streak in him. But Paul Ryan? I mean, I guess the dude lifts. My money is on Paul ending up on K Street and working the Sunday morning talk show circuit. Not a bad life, but there’s a glaring lack of edge to it which probably fits him..
Image via Gage Skidmore / Wikipedia Commons