======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Ah, It begins. Yesterday, the e-invite for the annual holiday party docked itself in my inbox. Lo and behold, a plus-one came along with it.
December is approaching us, and it always brings its own complications. Office holiday party season is right around the corner and it can be tricky business navigating it as one of the only (extremely) single employees. Could I ride solo? Sure! If my office was full of young, single people, I’d opt into that. But my office is incredibly small where I would stick out like a sore thumb if I went alone. And in all honesty, going alone is no fun, especially when I feel guilty to depriving someone of the opportunity of free food, entertainment, and an open bar. Why should I hoard that all to myself? That’s just being selfish. If I get the opportunity to bring someone, I always try to bring a casual (keyword: casual) date. It makes the night more enjoyable for everybody.
Here’s the catch: the office holiday party is an institution that largely exists to that coworkers can pry into one another’s personal lives. If you disagree, you’re just lying to yourself. We work closely with certain people and it only leads to curiosity about what kind of lives they lead outside of the workplace. There’s a lot of pressure being the only single gal at these events. People expect me to be in the dating scene so I don’t just want to show up with any random dude. I want to show up with someone who projects good taste, can shake a hand confidently, and muster witty banter with my coworkers. You know, the basics of being a decent human.
But the big question… who? Well, there are a few prerequisites here. Whoever attends needs to be able to handle their alcohol. We’re talking open bar with light hors-d’oeuvres, so I need a champion. My job is important to me, and I don’t want my date to harm the reputation that I’ve worked to establish. Does that mean they shouldn’t drink? NO! Drinking is encouraged at these events. A LOT of drinking happens, but I don’t want to be the laughing stock of my office just because “that dude Katie brought one year puked in the photobooth.”
In addition to a strong booze tolerance, I’m going to need a social butterfly. This person is going to be in a room full of strangers. Sure, the liquid courage is plentiful – but the more outgoing and personable the better. After all, I’ll need my date to be comfortable being left alone as I converse with other people at my company, as I will inevitably have to do for the majority of the night.
Is this approach to choosing a casual date way too calculated or cynical? Maybe. Especially for something as simple as a holiday party. But the fact is, every event with people I work with is an opportunity to make an impression on the people who can advance my career.
Maybe this is the year I decide to suck it up and go alone, but for now, I’m on the hunt for buy plus one for the 2018 office holiday party. Serious inquiries only. Thanks. .
Respond
KatieCallaway
Katie is 27 and is from Nashville, TN but lives in Los Angeles, CA as an actress, comedian, writer, and marketing manager. Although some might disagree, she likely peaked when she had dinner with Randy Jackson and he called her “dude” a lot. You can see her active on the Twitterverse at @KECallaway or you can also follow her new Insta at @KatieCallaway even though she hates Instagram.
@kecallaway
@katiecallaway
Alright here goes nothing:
-Am 100% willing to lie about how we met.
-I fulfill the social butterfly requirements and can handle both solo/dual conversations with strangers. (Witty banter is also covered because I dabble in standup).
-I can handle my alcohol and won’t overdo it.
-I always wanted to visit LA.
-Nived can vouch that I am a real person.
DMs are open, champ.
If this is how you meet, it’s one hell of a New York Times wedding announcement
Damn, she savage for that.
You say Nived can vouch for you like he isn’t Elon’s rouge cyborg with corrupted AI that’s being covered up by the govt
A cyborg wearing makeup is a pretty weird image.
Cyborgs don’t need you to put the lotion on the skin.
This would be quality content
I think it’s safe to say, Katie, you found yourself a date.
Bring one of your girlfriends, get a little sloppy and handsy, then watch your coworkers’ heads explode as they try to figure out if you are romantically involved with a woman or not.
I have been a plus one numerous times for the exact reasons you list. Not too calculating or cynical at all, it’s just the smart move
Not having a holiday party ever in six years of post grad employment. PGP.
Watch out for the liabilities, ask about their wildest Christmas party story so that you know what they think is wild. I would hit you with the “sup?”, but if I could not invite myself to my own work parties I would #liability
My office is having a “New Years” party in the first week of January instead of a huge holiday party. Already anxious about finding a date. PGP
User name does not check out.
I’d love to throw my hat in the ring here with a casual “sup” and a SWOT analysis of the benefits of bringing me, but the reality of the situation is I’m on the opposite side of the country and the next time I’ll potentially be in LA is March. Maybe someday, Katie.
There’s always flights from ATL to LA, sup?
Downvote for comma splices
sup.
Weren’t you the one who said “sounds like typical female overthinking” on a column of mine? Yeah. Hard pass.
Body bagged
Sup?
Lennox Lewis delivers the fight ending uppercut. Oh my lord.
Buddy I literally made my case already I’ll take that action.
Might be late to the party but since 2018 is the year of shooting your shot:
I also live in LA, pride myself in being a conversationalist and making a great first impression, have a good job in finance at a large firm (not flexing, just saying it’ll play when meeting colleagues), and am down to hit the bar and have fun but will maintain my composure- I know how I’d feel if my date embarrassed me at my party. That said, Parker did beat me to the punch so no hard feelings if he’s your guy. Good luck!
Eager to see how many people volunteer to be the plus one here. I’ve got a crisp Benjamin Franklin that says, at the very least, a baker’s dozen volunteers. Any takers?
Well versed in the ways of open bar Christmas parties chatting it up with people way above my pay grade – throwing my ‘sup into the ring.
Eager to see how many people volunteer for the plus one. I’ve got a crisp Benjamin Franklin saying there are, at the very least, a baker’s dozen.