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Wednesday, July 10th, 2018. A day that I’ll remember forever.
Not because I made incredible duck fat roasted potatoes (which I did) or because I wore my Butter Yeezys for the first time (which, again, I did). But because Instagram officially ruined everyone’s user experience by introducing the worst possible feature they could have released.
This feature, as explained by Instagram’s blog: “Today we’re introducing an interactive questions sticker in Instagram Stories that lets your friends submit questions for you to answer. It’s a fun new way to start conversations with your friends so you can get to know each other better.”
On the surface, this feature makes sense. It allows you to interact with your following in a way that you never could before. Question and answer sessions used to be reserved for direct messages, but no more.
Instead of having a private conversation, this wretched feature now forces everyone in the world to experience a back and forth that none of us truly give a shit about. Everyone’s stories have about fifteen to twenty dashes at the top signaling that, upon clicking, you’re fucking in for it. A two-minute ride through a Reddit-style “Ask Me Anything” where users either answer questions by talking directly into the camera (annoying) or by writing paragraphs of text that look like word vomit on your screen (even more annoying).
But the increase in stories isn’t even the worst part. The worst part is the nature of the feature itself.
As previously stated, “It lets your friends submit questions for you to answer.” Much like Instagram overall, it’s inherently self-indulgent. I know, I know, Instagram is the most self-indulgent app ever created. I get it. But this feature simply takes it too far.
What Instagram should have done is make this feature work the other way around — to allow you to ask your followers questions so you can receive the feedback. Instead, they’ve perpetuated the vapid nature of their app by making it all about you. This isn’t a poll or a survey; it’s a spotlight that influencers and normies alike are reveling in.
For those wondering, yes, you can edit this “sticker” to flip the narrative and ask your followers questions. I actually love the idea behind this because, as someone who works in media, I’d love to receive feedback or suggestions on certain aspects of my job. It makes sense. Unfortunately, pretty much no one did this yesterday.
Yesterday, stories were the most insufferable they’ve ever been. “Ask me a question!” it read, only to be followed by a series of answers that no one truly gives a fuck about (unless you’re the person who actually asked).
It dawned on me as I scrolled last night that it’s just one step closer to a Black Mirror episode that we’re all living in. The episode, which is “is set in a world where people can rate each other from one to five stars for every interaction they have, and which can impact their socioeconomic status,” perpetuates how much approval we seek from others. Scarily, the approval we seek from others we don’t even know.
Using this feature doesn’t automatically make you the worst, but just be careful with the purpose you have when you use it. No one probably gives a fuck and the worst possible thing in the history of the universe may happen to you — gasps — you’ll lose followers. .
We talked further about this today on the small-sized podcast, Touching Base, which you can find on iTunes and SoundCloud. Or, if you want to listen to this very part right now, here it is:
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
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As if the 10,000 likes and the creepy middle eastern guy comments didn’t inflate the “models” confidence enough….
The only time I’ve seen this acceptable was for a dog’s Instagram and they answered the questions as the dog. Adorable.
Can’t a guy shoot his shot, even if that shot is asking to see “bobs and vagene”?
If you don’t follow him yet: @popeyethefoodie always wins the internet
I assume that I shouldn’t have posted someone else’s insta. my apologies.
Pretty sure using the phrase “wins the internet” is where you went wrong, man
You’re probably right. Regardless, apologies.
What will happen to these insufferable Instagram “influencers” that derive all of their self-worth from “likes” in about 10 years when their looks (and economic value) inevitably fade? You can’t sling Fit Tea with cellulite. Opiod crisis 2.0.
They’ll either 1. have to get an entry level position pushing papers as they have zero real world business experience, or 2. find a way to get knocked up by the 60 year old rich dude who has been paying them to go on “vacation” in the Amalfi Coast on his boat.
PGP
“Milf” porn….
I can’t wait.
I honestly figured you’d be all over this to answer dumb questions about brunch, Sunday Scaries and Frasier.
Be honest Will, you want to try it.
I’d like to use it to get feedback for podcast topics, but at the same time, I can’t now because people will see it on my story and assume it’s the same annoying stuff everyone else is putting up.
“Guys, hasn’t the internet of today made the physical world and physical people less and less relevant to the point where we should just become avatars of ourselves? Lol”
What’s old is new. This is basically Formspring all over again.
Is it anonymous though?
It tells you who asked the question but it doesn’t tell your followers
Shut your pie hole, Dee.
“Kiki, do you love me?”
The internet equivalent of a wedding toast filled with niche inside jokes while everyone in attendance keeps reaching for an invisible “wrap it up” button
Its basically the Instagram version of those old “100 questions about me” from when MySpace was still a thing or one of those “like my status and ill comment something about you” on Facebook. Hated them with the burning passion of a million suns, because simply, no one cared (enough to read my posts or like my status. send help)
or ask . fm (no links in the comment section but you get the idea)
Seriously. The only thing more annoying to me than the influencers are the normal people who were using this feature and then answering questions as if they have thousands of people interested in what they ate for lunch.
The sky is falling