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“Everyone’s watching, to see what you will do. Everyone’s looking at you, ohhh” blasts into the cold morning air. My alarm set to “Working for the Weekend” by Loverboy is going off, but something isn’t right. This isn’t the normal time I’m supposed to wake up. I reach over to hit the snooze before I realize that I can’t. Somehow, someway, I’ve convinced myself that I have to hit the gym before work. Is it an intelligent, healthy move that will leave me better in the long run? Yes. Is it a soul-crushing exercise of dragging my nearly lifeless body to perform a halfhearted workout? Also yes.
The pre-work workout is something constantly being touted in columns and articles all over the Internet about “what successful people do.” I was told it would put me in a great mood and give me energy throughout the day. I was told it would revolutionize my workout. So, as a new post grad, I figured I’d give it a try. As much as I’ve seen some level of results — I’ve turned one ab into two — I’m starting to question if it’s really worth it.
Sure it’s nice to show up in the office and not have to worry about hitting the gym later because I already took care of it. I enjoy seeing myself getting into better shape and living a healthier lifestyle. It even gives me a little confidence boost as my body starts to look halfway decent that I can go out and meet a nice girl at the local bar, but good god, at what cost? Despite all these and the fact that it clears my nightly schedule up for the occasional date or night out with friends, I just don’t think I can keep this up.
Some of my colleagues swear by it. They claim starting to exercise in the morning changed their life and they could never go back. Fuck those people. I don’t need that kind of positivity in my life. Plus, I’d be willing to bet some cold hard cash that they’re lying. Anyone who thoroughly enjoys waking up an hour earlier to hit the gym is not someone I want to be spending any more time with than absolutely necessary. I’ll stick to my dive bars and borderline dad bod, you take your green smoothies and fit Insta posts. We can share athleisure, but outside of that, leave your inspirational quotes and blender bottles at home.
Maybe if I stick with it, I’ll get used to early morning workouts. They say that it takes about three weeks to build a habit, so maybe one day I’ll learn to love it. Perhaps one day I’ll become one of the much-loathed morning workout warriors that I currently love to hate.
Yeah right. I know I’m only going to give it a few more days before I call it quits. As an adult child, my willpower and discipline is frighteningly low. The odds I keep this up are even lower. It’s just a matter of time before the clutches of bed and a decent night’s sleep bring me back to reality. I just wasn’t built to work out in the morning. It just isn’t meant to be.
For those of you who have recently taken the plunge into the world of morning workouts, I wish you the best. You’re better than me and I accept that now. Just please, please, please do myself and all the others out there who can’t stand early morning workouts a favor. Fight the urge to rub it in all of our faces that while we were fast asleep, you were grunting and sweating your way towards the beach bod that we only dream about. Just don’t let the air of superiority you get from working out in the morning follow you into the workplace.
Recently tried working out in the morning? Share your experience in the comments below. For now, I’m hitting the snooze button and leaving the gym where it belongs..
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Post Grad Brad
Recent post grad whose name is Brad. That pretty much sums it up. Email me at postgradbrad@gmail.com.
When you have to be in the office at 7, a decent morning workout isn’t really in the cards.
I’m in that boat, no way in hell am I waking up at 5 to get a work out in, I already have trouble shutting it down at 10pm. The upside is that we get Fridays off at noon.
Sick!
Dick!
I used to jog before work in the mornings. The problem is I’m such a fat, unhealthy slob that I was often still sweating a little whenever I got to the office. I didn’t like that.
I workout in the morning for two reasons:
1) Everyone and their mother clogs up the gym after work and it’s infuriating.
2) Taking pre-workout has better effects in the morning; it basically replaces coffee. I have trouble sleeping if I take it after work.
The only drawback is going to bed an hour earlier.
Exactly. If I take pre-workout past noon, I’m not falling asleep until midnight.
Another downside to early-morning workouts is the significant decrease in quality eye-candy.
This morning I got myself up in time to run before work. I’ve been trying to do this every morning for the past two weeks and failed every day.
but today you did it! nice job!!
My habit of drinking a bottle of wine before bed most nights takes precedence.
Hell no. I already wake up at 6 AM for work, any earlier and no amount of coffee will help me avoid being a zombie for the rest of the day.
I like continuing my college tradition of working out before going to sleep. It’s great – I get a solid workout in, take a hot and relaxing shower after and sleep like a baby.
I tried this. The upside is the gym is almost empty but the downside is you’re so out of it you can’t really capitalize. I’ve almost passed out on the shoulder press more than once.
I have actually driven to the gym, shut my car off, realized I was too tired to workout, and just went back home before. I’m an after work gym-goer through and through.
I only go right home if I can’t find parking but if I continued trying the morning routine I definitely would have done this too.
One of my co-workers takes a late lunch and goes to the gym then. No idea how he does it. An hour is not enough time for me to workout, eat lunch, and then mentally prepare myself to go back to work.
What kind of sorcery allows for people to work out during lunch and come back to work? I would be a sweaty mess that looks like they were ran over by a truck if I did that.
Did this today and I hate myself. I have a free evening to relax, but……I still hate myself….