I’m Going To Lose This Weight: WTF Is Going On?

I’m Going To Lose This Weight: WTF Is Going On?

Thirteen weeks ago, I wrote the first installment of this series, simply titled “I’m Going To Lose This Weight, Dammit.” Since then, we’ve talked about lots of issues that relate to my – and your – weight loss: some hard truths, the numbers game, weird new things to eat, giving up booze and the office candy dish cold-turkey. Now, more than three months into our joint-journey, I need to ask myself a question:

What the fuck is going on?

As many of you have noted in the comments section (not in a demeaning way, which I appreciate), only losing 5.6 pounds over the course of thirteen weeks is incredibly slow progress. And I don’t disagree, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what the problem is. I’ve managed to lose eighty pounds following a relatively simple formula: a diet of 1200-1500 calories a day, higher in protein/lower in carbs; at least 64 ounces of water a day; cardio every day; weight-lifting three times a week. But of course, the second I put it out there (in column form) that I want to lose the last 30 pounds by my birthday in August, my loss stalls harder than a standard Honda Civic in a rainstorm. What’s been working for more than a year and a half suddenly just isn’t anymore, and it’s incredibly frustrating. Hence the vulgarity in the question, “What the fuck is going on?”

The simple answer is that I haven’t a clue in hell. While I’m inclined to believe that one of you fuckers put some kind of curse on me, my rational mind tells me that’s not the case. So what’s a girl to do? I could simply Google “weight loss stall” and read some of the 662,000 results I got in 0.53 seconds. And maybe some of those tips (Eat more fiber! Cut back on salt! Eat more, smaller meals!) would even help.

But, as I said when I talked about a while back about unqualified advice, every single person’s weight loss process – and what helps them progress – is different. So while the internet is a fantastic source for ideas, one of the things I’ve discovered in the past few years as I’ve undertaken this experience is that it’s really important to have a “feel” for your body – to know what feels right, to know what feels wrong, and to have a sense of when something is just off. The latter is what’s concerning me right now; I just have a feeling there is something deeper at play that’s causing this stall. Not that I’m making excuses – trust me, I’ve been beating myself up over this slow progress pretty hard – but frankly, something just doesn’t feel right.

So what this girl is going to do is to call in the experts – my primary care physician and my nutritionist – and ask them this very important question:

What the fuck is going on?

Hopefully, they have some answers for me and we can get this show back on the road.

Starting weight to Lose: 30 pounds
Week 1 Results: – 1.1 pounds
Week 2 Results: – 2.1 pounds
Week 3 Results: +0.4 pounds
Week 4 Results: – 0.2 pounds
Week 5 Results: – 0.2 pounds
Week 6 Results: – 0.1 pounds
Week 7 Results: -0.9 pounds
Week 8 Results: 0.0 pounds
Week 9 Results: -0.5 pounds
Week 10 Results: -0.6 pounds
Week 11 Results: 0.0 pounds
Week 12 Results: – 0.2 pounds
Week 13 Results: -0.1 pounts
Remaining weight to lose: 24.4 pounds

If you want to follow along with me, friend me on MyFitnessPal or FitBit!

Also, I’ll be chatting weekly about my progress with JR Hickey on our podcast, “Don’t Take It From Us.” New eps will be released every Wednesday, so check it out on Soundcloud below or Subscribe on iTunes!

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at

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