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Sure, you lie to your doctor about how many drinks you have on a weekly basis, but you’d still consider yourself to be a relatively healthy person. You don’t do drugs, you don’t have to shop in the plus-size sections of Nordstrom, and you only eat out three-or-so times a week. You’re not a #fitchick, but you’re not a drain on society when it comes to your general health and wellness, right? Yeah, well, you’re wrong because Oregon State just did a study that pretty much concluded that everyone in the United States is an unhealthy slob.
The study used four different focus areas to determine if the subjects were living a “healthy lifestyle” — they took into account moderate exercise, a good diet, not smoking and having a recommended body fat percentage.
The study looked at 4,745 people from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey. Researchers used an accelerometer device to gauge movement with a target of 150 minutes of moderate-to-vigorous activity each week. Blood samples confirmed if a person was a non-smoker and body fat was measured using x-ray technology. Diet was defined as being within the top 40 percent of people who consumed foods suggested by the United States Department of Agriculture.
Out of the study group, 2.7 percent had all four characteristics, researchers found. About 16 percent had three, 37 percent had two, 34 percent had one and 11 percent had none.
I’ll just say it — this was a big kick in the dick. I’m not saying I’m the picture of health. Fit people don’t stop by food trucks before calling their 1 a.m. Uber home. Fit people don’t slather JIF peanut butter on bananas for breakfast. Fit people don’t wear workout clothes to brunch just to give off the appearance that they just used their ClassPass — they actually have a ClassPass.
All this time, I thought turning down cigarettes outside of the bar and hitting the salad bar at Whole Foods meant I was a healthy person. But nope. My lack of regular workouts, My probably-just-above-average skinny-fat body fat percentage, my affinity for beer over kombucha. All signs point to me being a complete monster. I mean, just look at this breakdown.
— 71 percent of adults didn’t smoke
— 38 percent of adults ate a healthy diet
— 10 percent had a normal body fat percentage
— 46 percent were sufficiently active
At this point, it’s pointless to even attempt to be their definition of “healthy” anyway. Being in the top 2.7 percent of anything is a feat in and of itself. That’s Valedictorian and Salutatorian territory. Those are “I got recruited for football in high school” numbers. 2.7 percent is normally the margin of error on studies, not the actual result of where you should strive to be.
So oh well, we’re all lost causes. If you’re not with us, you’re against us. Fine with that. .
[via Oregon Live]
Image via Shutterstock
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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Well all gotta die of something. No preacher ever bragged about someone’s yoga regimen in their eulogy.
Haha to those in denial. I don’t need someone to tell me I’m out of shape, I own mirrors.
The fact that I was overwhelmingly compelled to complain that in order to find the “healthy body fat percentage” number I had to click two separate links, tells me I’m probably not in this healthy elite class.
Other titles for this article…
Oregon State Thinks We’re Fat, Let’s listen to Them.
The Bananas You’re Eating Are Unhealthy
Wouldn’t an accelerometer only gauge if you did 150+ minutes of cardio? What about things like weight lifting or resistance workouts? I only ask because I definitely don’t do that much cardio and I want to feel better about myself.
Resistance training is super important, all cardio all the time isn’t going to build muscle. And yeah, from the sound of it that only gauges whether you’re moving forward.
I agree, good thing it’s super easy for me to resist going to the gym.
I’m pretty sure I would fail, but only because their healthy diet is “foods suggested by the United States Department of Agriculture.”
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lhc4yaBhKr1qg1j1no1_500.jpg
You could do much worse than a banana and some peanut butter for breakfast…don’t get discouraged.
At least I’m not stupid. . .
“You don’t do drugs, you don’t have to shop in the plus-size sections of Nordstrom, and you only eat out three-or-so times a week.”
OK, you’re clearly not actually talking to me
Man, I love a peanut butter and banana sandwich. Never understood banana and mayo sandwich people.