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They say D.C. is the Hollywood for ugly people. In all fairness, though, they’re not just ugly people, they’re miserable ugly people. There’s a difference. Trust me.
After spending my formative years getting drunk at frat parties until 3am and then stumbling into the halls of some government building forty-five minutes late for whatever internship I was vastly under-qualified for that semester, I came to have a weird obsession with our nation’s capital at a younger age than most. While many of my coworkers have never even been to D.C., I get to pull rank and be all like “Whatever losers. I used to study on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.” And by “study,” I mean “get drunk and flirt with an arrest for drunk and disorderly.” God. Those were the days.
Anyway, after being dragged off the graduation stage kicking and screaming, I traded in my cap and gown for a government job and a disgusting black skirt suit. And it sucked. Unlike college, I couldn’t get away with coming into work an hour and a half late, reeking of booze, and carrying an overpriced Starbucks drink paid for with my father’s American Express. Oh, no, this time I was on my own and it was far worse than I ever could’ve imagined.
College in D.C. was fucking awesome. But postgrad life? Postgrad life was hell. Without access to my parents’ bank account, I realized just how insanely expensive the city really is. $1600 rent for a house in the ghetto an up and coming neighborhood with four other people? Totally normal. $40 Happy Hour tab even though you were drinking straight from the “Specials” portion of the menu? Seems right. $200 metro card each month, even though the metro is perpetually broken, without air conditioning, and wrought with homeless people? Yep. Yep. Yep. All the while, your salary is a mere $24,000 a year and your parents are near murdering you because you can’t afford to buy into government Obamacare and are therefore twenty-six-years-old and still on their insurance plan. So it’s no wonder people in D.C. are fucking miserable. Seriously, it’s just a bunch of sad, ugly people who are the flip of a coin away from either suicide or another Xanax. It’s that bad.
Which, honestly, is why I personally believe “House of Cards” was met with such enthusiasm among people living within the confines of the District. Finally, a show that resonated with them. Finally, a show that wasn’t set in Manhattan or Silicon Valley or wherever-the-fuck-else is cooler than D.C. Finally, a show that tells the story of young, ambitious twenty and thirty somethings who are living in shit hole apartments infested with cockroaches and molded over General Tso’s chicken. Finally, a show that chronicles the cranky ass bastard politicians we all sleep with work for and fucking loathe. Finally, a show about national and global issues, a show that made their jobs seem exciting to people in Nebraska, a show that made them want to kill themselves just a little bit less. Finally. A show that speaks to them.
And now, dear Washingtonians, that show not only speaks to you — it can showcase you. Get excited: “House of Cards” is holding a casting call this Saturday, June 7th, at the Bel Air Armory in Bel Air, Maryland from 10am – 2pm. All you have to have is show up and look “professional.” Apparently getting on TV is super easy these days. They claim that they’re accepting people of all looks, but, let’s be honest, they’re casting Washingtonians — they know what they’re in for. Have fun, ya uggos. Tell Frank I said hi.
[via In The Capital]
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Catie Warren
Catie struggles with adulthood and has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with PGP, Catie was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email: catie@grandex.co
@catie__warren
@catie__warren
I live in DC now and going to college here sounds miserable. Being a post-grad here on the other hand, is the complete opposite of whatever this troll wrote about. I’ll just keep it short and say there’s ugly people everywhere, but DC is actually filled with really smart, well connected, ambitious post-grads who are more than capable of making more than $24K a year. It may have been a figure of speech, or maybe you are just so clueless of your own finances, but it’s unheard of to be making less than $45K right out of college, assuming you didn’t go to ITT Tech. And get off your daddy’s credit card. Grow up, Peter Pan. There’s nothing less attractive than a girl who can’t support herself.
You obviously don’t work in politics, where the starting salary is, in fact, $28K on the Hill.
But I totally agree, the author is way off – DC as a postgrad is great. Everyone is social, there are too many bars to get to all of them and you’ll never hear, “There’s nothing to do here.” I’m not an internet shit talker but this article is weak sauce.
I have fun every time I go there. I wouldn’t live there but for reasons vastly different than those listed in this article.
Mommy and Daddy didn’t give me their credit card in college. Some of us have been living on the bare minimum since college days.
Technically, you don’t get to be on TV per se, at least not in America, but I don’t even care because AGHHHHHH I WANNA BE ON HOUSE OF CARDS NOW.
I could literally spend 2 minutes on the internet and find a studio apartment in a nice part of DC for less than $1600/month, let alone somewhere with roommates.
Not sure why this is getting downvoted either. There are multiple places in Georgetown, Dupont, Foggy Bottom, and Chinatown on craigslist right now for less than $1600/month. Nerds
This continues to weird me out, poser
Okay, which one of you Jack Abramoffs is the REAL RogerSterlingJr?
We both made the username on TFM around the same time (I think I was first, he thinks he was first), but he writes for the sites so apparently I’m the poser
Technically neither of them are the real Roger Sterling Jr.
“…stumbling into the halls of some government building forty-five minutes late for whatever internship I was vastly under-qualified for that semester…”
Lets be real: They were internships and you didn’t do anything challenging or important.
If you felt under-qualified processing flag requests and giving tours of the Capitol to school groups then there is a reason you couldn’t find a job making more than $24k.
At some point, snark becomes humorless and you just come off as a miserable, whiney, bitch … Lets work on that.
#DC4Lyfe
Ok so this girl has no idea what she is talking about. First off the people living here are not ugly by any means. Many of my friends are extremely smart, AND attractive people. We all make a great salary for being straight out of college, and are able to hold our own without running back to mommy and daddy. The DC area has the lowest unemployment rate in the COUNTRY, therefore you could have totally left your $24k job to find a better one. The worst article I have ever read on here, maybe you should do your fact checking before posting.
I love all the people adamantly defending DC. I’m totally with you on this one, Catie.
I lived there for over a year and was baffled by the amount of young people living in my building in dupont (my rent was around 1200 in a converted 3br), working out at Vida, shopping at whole foods, brunching at founding farmers…I never understood how they could afford that lifestyle. Even with a salary in the 50s, after taxes, there isn’t much leftover for leisure activities – especially if you’re trying to save $. You have to be making at least 70k to enjoy all the incredible food, shopping, and activities DC has to offer, but I always had a sneaking suspicion most of those people were being subsidized by the bank of mommy & daddy.