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Have you guys ever messed up on the job? Have you ever just totally dropped the ball on something? You begged coach to put you in, and when that sonofabitch finally did, you let a grounder go between your legs at shortstop? Well, that’s what I did. I swung out of my shoes and got sent home with nothing to show for it. Sorry for all the baseball puns, the World Series has got me funked up this week.
I’ve been slowly drowning since August. As most of you know, my “day job” is as a struggling law student. This semester has literally been the most excruciating experience of my life thus far. Not only am I taking a full schedule of classes, but I’m also working somewhere important doing legal things on a daily basis. They give me assignments and I try to complete them in a timely fashion. Sometimes I do this well, sometimes I fail miserably.
This week, I failed miserably.
Finals are coming up in 5 weeks, so needless to say, I’m having panic attacks in the middle of the night thinking about all of the work I need to be doing to prepare. Then I go to class and pray I don’t get called on, followed by walking a full mile to work and praying everyone forgets I’m sitting at this very visible desk right in the middle of the bullpen.
Yesterday, my supervisor wanted to meet to talk about a memo I wrote a couple weeks ago for a supervising attorney. Everyone knows what that means: feedback. Normally, I’m pretty good at giving and receiving feedback, but being at this very low point in my life, I’m fragile. I went in there knowing she was about to crush my soul with buzzwords and euphemisms.
30 minutes later, I walked out of that meeting with a marked-up memo and a shattered spirit. I googled, “Law school drop-out jobs.” Pulled up Monster.com. Turns out, I’m a little too far deep into this mess and I should probably just stay here and finish the degree, as unfortunate as that is. I’d rather sit around and write funny things on the internet and engage with strangers over Twitter, but that dream may have to be put on the backburner.
I returned to work this morning with my tail between my legs. I’m breathing so quietly and moving so little, I think they may actually forget I am here. I’m breaking into a cold sweat. I can’t be sure if that’s the anxiety talking or if the McDonald’s coffee I sprung for is not settling well.
So instead of jumping back on the horse at work today and trying my hand at this legal thing one more time, I think I’ll just content about how terribly I’m performing at my unpaid job and download some dating apps again. It is cuffing season, after all..
Respond
@taylordoestweet
@itsthestovallshow
sexychocolate
actually it’s ass eatin SZN
Taylor, don’t worry. The justice system is dead in this country. Focus on litigations, they’re fucking lit and stuff. And remember nothing really matters at all and eat Arby’s
Keep your head up, we’ve all been there. The best way to go about it is to own the mistake and learn from it, knowing what you did wrong and how to avoid doing it again.
Look at it this way: you’re still in school and I assume that your job is some sort of internship, meaning, in the grand scheme of things, it’s probably not extremely important to your firm and it probably goes through multiple levels of review. Better to do this now and learn from it than in a few years when you’re a full on associate and much more is expected of you.
Every law student googles “law school dropout jobs” at some point. Just wait until right after you take the Bar when you start googling “JD non-lawyer jobs.”
Good luck getting back in the saddle.
Or when you’re newly hired right after passing the bar and googling “what exactly is in a motion for summary judgment” because you realize you have no clue how to be an attorney
Yeah this is my 3L year and I’ve got the theory down for the most part but uh practical shit is gonna fuck me up
Name checks out
I promise, they only give you the feedback if they like you. Sharks let the ones they don’t care about drown by themselves! And I agree with Josh, you will at some point google “JD Non-lawyer jobs” so be ready for it! 2L is not the easiest.
Can confirm. If we don’t like someone we’ll try to correct you a couple times and then we just let you work yourself into a hole until we build up enough of a case to pull the trigger
I don’t like HR so I usually say I make $20k more than I actually do while on interviews and then I say I’m looking for a salary that’s $20k higher than the original number I gave them because this is capitalism and corporate America can burn in Hell forever once I make enough money to leave it lol
Don’t worry, HR doesn’t like you either
Obviously they do since they keep paying me $40k more than they normally would
That’s a good point. They wouldn’t have bothered giving you feedback if they didn’t think you’d do something positive with it. I’d sulk for the day too, but then get back after it.
There’s a reason your second year of law school is called 2Hell. I also agree with the others who have said that feedback means your supervisors at least care about you. Finally, if your bosses are not scumbags, I would ask them soon if you can take time off to study for finals for a few weeks. Both firms I worked at during law school let me take most of November and early December off for finals, since they understood how important it was to do well in school.
If it makes you feel any better, I did something terrible at my starving law student day job recently too. Sent out a nonsuit on a garnishment to the wrong bank and got an ass chewing for it. People will forget and move on.
Find a go to person at your firm that could be a mentor or friend. Ask them to review some of your work or hypothetically ask them what they would do/how they would handle a task. Only way I’ve learned anything in my career, find good people to learn from.
Username checks out
at law jobs, true screwing up is not doing the research or writing the memo or being unprofessional. you’re fine, trust me. your supervisor has been in your shoes many times, I can guarantee it.
Been there done that.