Seems like reddit user throwwwwaway29 and her husband could use some marriage counseling, considering her husband was so fed up with how little the two of them had sex, he MADE A SPREADSHEET with the date of when he asked her if she was trying to get the pipe, whether she said yes or no, and if she said no, the excuse she gave as to why.

“Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He’s never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my “excuses”, using verbatim quotes of why I didn’t feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his “document,” we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 “attempts” on his part.”

Highlights include:

“You’re too drunk.”

“I feel Gross”

“I’m still tender from yesterday”

and my personal favorite…

“Watching “the show” (“Friends” re-runs)

Look, far be it from me to say anything, I’m not married, have never been married, and have no plans to do so anytime soon. Also, sexless marriages are the biggest TV/Movie cliche since slipping on a Banana peel or kissing in the rain, so maybe the monogamy of matrimony isn’t all that appealing. Also, never would I ever encourage someone to do something they didn’t want to do sexually; her body, her choice, and everybody better respect the FUCK out of that.

But from my perspective, these two people seem completely incompatible, especially sexually, and should seek professional counseling. Frankly they should probably just get divorced, cause this dude wants to freak like a jackrabbit and she’s not having any of it. Or maybe he’s gotten fat and disgusting and she’s not attracted to him anymore. Truth hurts, bro.

“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”

Let’s hope these two crazy kids get through their issues soon!

[via Deadspin]