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Who doesn’t dream of someday having the kind of “fuck you money” where they could just pay for their favorite band to come play their party? Ever since kids entered crazy contests to try to get [fill in the pop band] to come play a concert in their school gymnasium, this has been a collective dream of ours. Now, thanks to Priceonomics, and some dirt they scooped from a third party booking agency, you can find out exactly what tax bracket you’ll need to be in if you want to make your dream come true.
(I should probably note that since this is a third party source, these numbers are probably pretty well-inflated over the reality. But let’s just pretend, shall we?)
The Expensive As Fuck, But Totally Worth It Group:
Foo Fighters ($500k+) – I’d pay that just for Dave Grohl to show up and shake my hand.
Ellie Goulding ($100-200k) – She’s a goober, but she’s funny, and puts on a hell of a show.
Smashing Pumpkins ($200-400k) – I’ll say it. Best ‘90s rock band. Come at me.
Justin Timberlake ($1 mil+) – Suave. Charming. Talented. Keep him away from your woman.
The Hilariously Overpriced Group:
Carly Rae Jepsen ($90-125k) – There’s no maybe. I’m definitely not calling you.
LMFAO ($250k+) – I’d prefer the animated hamsters from the KIA commercials for that price.
Jessica Simpson ($150k+) – She’s lost the body, and I can’t name a single one of her songs.
Daughtry ($200-300k) – Really? Just. Really?
The Why Would I Pay For A DJ To Press Play On His iPod Group:
Bassnectar ($100-150k)
Avicii ($150-200k)
The Surprisingly Affordable Good Time Group:
Chamillionaire ($20-30k) – I’m not too cool to channel my early high school years.
Motion City Soundtrack ($30-40k) – Dudes have more good albums than most groups have good songs.
Schoolboy Q ($25-40k) – He’s gonna be one of the biggest deals in hip-hop within two years. Get on board early.
Joshua Radin ($10-15k) – He speaks to my soul. That is all.
The Holy Shit, They’re Still Together?! Group:
Bone Thugs-n-Harmony ($25-30k) – Smooth and edgy.
Duncan Sheik ($10-20k) – I was barely breathing when I saw his name pop up.
Candlebox ($15-20k) – If you’re asking “who?!” you need to check yourself.
POD ($30-40k) – As long as they only play songs from Satellite, I’d be down, actually.
The Knox Is Never Going To Rest Until He Comes Up With $100k Group:
Creed ($100k+) – Suck it, haters.
[via Priceonomics]
Respond
Any EDM DJ – Free. Press play on iPod
Easy, American Aquarium for 5 k. Damn good Americana for that cheap is hard to come by.
First Knox with Paul Eason, now you with my boys AA; SOME people on here spit a really good music game. I was ripping shots with BJ before he snuck off with this cute Asian broad, can’t even be angry about it.
I propose we hire the best 90’s bands and acts and throw a massive throwback festival. Biggest ROI in festival history? I think yes.
Afro Man used to be a great buy. Now he literally plays his songs off an iPod and sings along to them.
Would hire Bone Thugs just to hear Tha Crossroads:
Whoops, tried to resize this…
Motion City Soundtrack…. didn’t realize they let emo high school kids circa 2005 write for PGP.