This is so stupid. Complaining about hipsters on the internet isn’t anything new, and some might say it’s completely overdone. But come the fuck on, guys. Just have a little self-awareness one time for me.
Apparently hipster dads are forcing their children to call them “papa” in place of the traditional “dad,” “daddy,” or “father.” It’s kind of like in Zoolander when Derek said, “I’ve got the black lung, pop,” but unfortunately for all of us, this is a serious thing that’s actually taking place in the world and not a movie about male models.
The Daily Beast reports that parents are urging their kids to adopt this practice because it sets them apart from the previous generation (which includes their own parents).
“Also, I had heard little kids using ‘papa’ before and it sounds so cute,” Johnson added, noting that those children may have been referring to their grandfathers, “but it seemed more applicable for us as a replacement for ‘dad.’”
In trying to be different by using “papa,” these hipsters do exactly what all hipsters do: attempt to be different by all being the same. I’d say that they’re one step away from calling their kids Geppetto, but one of the interviewees already has me covered.
“I just think ‘dad’ and ‘mom’ are very Saved by the Bell-ish,” said Will Grose, 36, a Brooklyn father of three boys under the age of 5: Axel, Oscar (“Ozzy”), and Balthazar (“Bo”). He estimated that half of the children in his 4-year-old son’s Williamsburg preschool call their fathers “papa.”
Aside from Saved By The Bell being a sick show that doesn’t deserve being dragged through the coals by Mr. Grose, I just have one question: who the fuck names their kids Axel, Oscar, and Balthazar? These aren’t dogs, Will. These are your kids. Balthazar is going to have to hand a resume over to someone one day and utter, “I know, I know,” while hanging his head knowing that he was named like a dickhead.
Another interview further explained his reasoning.
Underwood also thinks “dad” is antiquated, whereas “papa” is an “open-minded, liberal term,” he said, “like a dad with a twist.”
You’re right, “papa” isn’t antiquated at all. None of us think of a little french boy skipping through an 1800s farmer’s market when we hear that name, do we? .