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This is so stupid. Complaining about hipsters on the internet isn’t anything new, and some might say it’s completely overdone. But come the fuck on, guys. Just have a little self-awareness one time for me.
Apparently hipster dads are forcing their children to call them “papa” in place of the traditional “dad,” “daddy,” or “father.” It’s kind of like in Zoolander when Derek said, “I’ve got the black lung, pop,” but unfortunately for all of us, this is a serious thing that’s actually taking place in the world and not a movie about male models.
The Daily Beast reports that parents are urging their kids to adopt this practice because it sets them apart from the previous generation (which includes their own parents).
“Also, I had heard little kids using ‘papa’ before and it sounds so cute,” Johnson added, noting that those children may have been referring to their grandfathers, “but it seemed more applicable for us as a replacement for ‘dad.’”
In trying to be different by using “papa,” these hipsters do exactly what all hipsters do: attempt to be different by all being the same. I’d say that they’re one step away from calling their kids Geppetto, but one of the interviewees already has me covered.
“I just think ‘dad’ and ‘mom’ are very Saved by the Bell-ish,” said Will Grose, 36, a Brooklyn father of three boys under the age of 5: Axel, Oscar (“Ozzy”), and Balthazar (“Bo”). He estimated that half of the children in his 4-year-old son’s Williamsburg preschool call their fathers “papa.”
Aside from Saved By The Bell being a sick show that doesn’t deserve being dragged through the coals by Mr. Grose, I just have one question: who the fuck names their kids Axel, Oscar, and Balthazar? These aren’t dogs, Will. These are your kids. Balthazar is going to have to hand a resume over to someone one day and utter, “I know, I know,” while hanging his head knowing that he was named like a dickhead.
Another interview further explained his reasoning.
Underwood also thinks “dad” is antiquated, whereas “papa” is an “open-minded, liberal term,” he said, “like a dad with a twist.”
You’re right, “papa” isn’t antiquated at all. None of us think of a little french boy skipping through an 1800s farmer’s market when we hear that name, do we? .
[via The Cut / The Daily Beast]
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Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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I just hope that my kid won’t be calling me “asshole” when he becomes a teenager.
I’ve accepted that mine will. He will just learn to appreciate it a hell of a lot more when he goes off to college and realizes that a lot of cool dads are actually assholes too.
Who do these hipsters think they are, making their kids use gendered names like “papa.” It’s 2016, kids should be using neutral terms like Parent 1 and Parent 2.
Parental Unit Alpha, Parental Unit Beta. Doubles as distinguishing which parent is which and defining roles
Nope, can’t have one parent “Alpha” and one parent “Beta”. Doesn’t promote equality and furthers the establishment of gender norms. Just “Parent” will have to suffice. And even that is a stretch because that term establishes a classist system of authoritarians and followers.
Hipsters shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce.
Doesn’t matter, their daughters will still be calling the Drake of the 2030s Daddy on Twitter someday.
Twitter will probably be dead by 2030
Dumbasses who name their kids “Balthazar” are ensuring they get bullied in high school and college.
Giving your kid an odd name is a 50/50 shot of the kid achieving athletic greatness, on the field or coaching, or bullied relentlessly in their formative years and they get a lot of “character”.
With that said, the only way “Axel” works is if their last name is “Rodriguez.”
I dunno Will, your parents thought the middle name Fritz would be okay and you seem to have turned out alright.
But, ya know, did he?
I’ve done some shitty things as a parent. Like allowing my son to take steroids – but I draw the line at being called “papa”. Fucking millennial’s.
Seems like that needs some further explanation.
Netflix + The League = explanation
True story: I was on vacation in Hawaii and met a family there where the kids called their parents mother and father but the parents called the kids son and daughter too. And the kids called each other brother and sister. I asked the parents about it and they said the kids names were legit son and daughter. People are weird.
I’d rather name my kid “Son” than “Balthazar.”
Icelandic people do weird shit like with last names. They name the child’s last name the first name of the father, and then add on daughter or son depending on the gender. So if Bob has a son named Tim, it’d be Tim Bobson.
Just lol’d at “Tim Bobson”. Fckin’ legendary name right there
1000% chance he pulls
“said Will Grose, 36, a Brooklyn father”
Brooklyn…well color me shocked
If Will Grose had procreated in Brooklyn ten years ago his sons would be named Asher, Hayden, and Chase.
More like Will Gross
this reminds me of how my friend’s in-laws want her kid to call them “kiki” and “pop pop” and my friend refuses to address them as such.