Here’s What ‘Everything In Moderation’ Means To Random People I Asked

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I know a guy who works at a smoothie shop. He has long blond hair and a patchwork mosaic of old-time sailor tattoos on his right bicep. I knew I liked him from the moment I saw the colored ink permanently emblazoned on his tanned skin.

See, it seems I have developed a thing for guys with stupid tattoos. Having grown up in a city where people often incorrectly equate geometric shapes and tribal symbols to depth and insightfulness – I’ve developed a soft spot for dumb, colorful tattoos with no particular significance. This is not relevant to my point however, so I digress.

One night, as I was sitting at the smoothie bar drinking a beer (I’m not a smoothie girl, sue me) a sweaty man walked into the shop. He was a silver fox and looked to be on the cusp of both his 50th birthday and second divorce. As he approached the counter, gym bag in hand, he ordered a large green smoothie, dropped a dollar in the tip jar, and walked back out into the balmy night.

“Watch this,” said sailor tattoo guy, nodding his chin towards the street.

I turned just in time to watch the man walk not 20 feet to the Irish pub across the street. Through the open window I could see him greet the owner, pop the lid off his smoothie, and pull out his wallet as the bartender poured what seemed to be two, extra-large shots of vodka into the man’s drink.

He settled his tab, mixed the cocktail with a straw, and walked down the road, gleefully slurping his vodka filled, phytoplankton-kale smoothie.

“He does it every other night after the gym” said the sailor. “I asked him about it once, and all he said was ‘everything in moderation, my friend.’”

“Everything in moderation” rang in my head as I watched the man fade into the distance.

Over the course of the next week I couldn’t help but ponder the concept of moderation, and what it means in practice.

As I traverse the latter part of my early 20s, I have begun to notice a shift in my thinking – I am decidedly less decided about life. In short, I have become more moderate.

Opinions I once held with fervor have become softer. My rigid expectation of how life should be lived and how my future will unfold has become far more malleable, more akin to soft clay than stone.

My hot takes have gone from sizzling to warm, as if they’re a cherry pie that has been cooling on the counter long enough to now be digested comfortably.

All I know is that during my revolution around the 2017 sun, I somehow transitioned from “this is permanently who I am and what I believe to be true about myself and other people and things” to “this is who I am right now, but who knows, maybe I’ll think and feel differently tomorrow.”

Maybe this is a product of age, getting knocked down a few times repositions our perspective a bit.

That being said, I think I like this moderate outlook better than the “hot-take,” “do everything to the extreme” lifestyle I once found so sexy and cool.

So my question, however seemingly obvious, is this: Is learning how to live in moderation actually far more beneficial than the alternative?

There is one catch, however (isn’t there always a catch?) and it is that we live in a “lifestyle” obsessed world where “extreme” is the main driver of transformation and success.

We join clubs and sell lifestyle routines to anyone that will buy them. We advertise and self-promote and glamorize obsessions, whether they’re obsessions with partying, cosmetics, fitness, or a particularly rigid way of thinking. We as a culture are obsessed with obsessing.

“Moderation,” on the other hand, isn’t all that marketable. It’s not something we talk about.

Boozy smoothie guy made me wonder, is living life in moderation really a far more important ingredient to a happy life than we have been led to believe? In a culture of extreme lifestyle commitments, have we lost sight of this simple idea?

In my never ending quest to find a magic elixir that will help me avoid the messy, uncomfortableness that is growing from a naive baby adult to a full-fledged knowledgeable adult (turns out there is no such elixir), I became curious if I should try to make a more cognizant effort to employ this practice in my daily life.

I wondered if being more intentional in applying moderation to my life might help me find the daily balance that I crave desperately. So, I asked around.

I polled my peers (via Instagram) and my older friends and family (via email) on what moderation means to them, and if they make a concerted effort to employ the practice in their own life.

As I suspected, most people found it an interesting question. The humans in their 20s were confused and needed a little more clarification, while the humans 30 and above immediately understood my inquiry. I have grouped their responses into categories for your consumption. Proceed with caution.

Moderation Is A Good Thing To Remember When Your Obsessions Become Toxic:

“I am totally obsessive compulsive, so moderation is really important for me to remember, otherwise I get obsessed with one thing and pay no attention to friends, family, or other hobbies.” – Amber, 27

“If I don’t go to the gym two days in a row I get really down on myself and can even get depressed. I think if I focused on moderation in regards to my workout routine I would be less stressed about missing 1 day and more open to doing things during the week.” – Brett, 24

“Moderation in relationships is key. Romantic relationships never work out when I see the person every day of the week. If I do I get enthralled with the person and loose myself. Now when I date, I set “me” days, even if I’d rather be with the other person.” –Kerri, 35

“I used to masturbate once a day, then I kind of became desensitized and it was more of a routine than anything else. Now I do it like three times a week. I never thought I’d need moderation in something like this, but it was helpful for me.” – Brian, 26

Moderation Becomes More Manageable As You Age:

“Moderation and instant gratification don’t go hand in hand. When you’re young you want everything now, so you go overboard. Getting older means you accept that lifestyle changes come with time and practice. Running yourself into the ground is less sexy when you’re older” – Charlie, 43

“In my late-twenties (compared to my early twenties), I think about outcome more. When you’re younger you just act out of desire, but as you age you think – will I feel good about this decision tomorrow? Moderation means taking into consideration the impact being obsessed with something will have long term.” – Roy, 28

“There’s something incredibly sexy about a woman that understands moderation. Women like this are usually older. She gets when to let loose, but more importantly she gets when taking something too far is unhealthy.” – Joel, 29

Moderation Means You Can Have More:

“Moderation is fantastic because it is like a sample platter of life. When I was young I didn’t understand this – if I liked something I wanted to have ALL of it. I have never believed in restricting oneself entirely, because life should be lived. But moderation is important because it means that I can have it all instead of going overboard and only having one thing” – Edith, 63

“Moderation means I can let loose (like having a few drinks on a work night) and still reap the benefits of being responsible (like getting fit from working out). It’s really hard to do though, it takes practice.” – Rich, 32

“Moderation means I don’t miss out on life. I hate rigid people, but I also hate people that have no regard for balance. On the weekend, if I have a few drinks and also get a hike in, I know I’ve done a good job. My friends that are obsessed with one lifestyle don’t actually seem to enjoy life all that much.” – Allison, 26

Moderation Makes “Extreme” A Delicious Treat Instead Of A Lifestyle:

“Moderation is what fills the space between the occasional “let loose” action. It makes decadent things so much more exciting. Once a month I have a totally over the top meal of oysters and wine and chocolate cake with my husband and it’s amazing. If we did it every week it wouldn’t be as special.” – Amy, 38

“I was a vegetarian for 3 years, but now I eat chicken tacos on Saturdays and I feel more like myself than I ever did as a vegan.” – Victoria (ME), 23

“I love partying. I just love it. So once or twice a month I go all out. Otherwise, I remind myself that being hung over all weekend isn’t worth it all the time. Going out hard, in moderation, is what makes a great night out totally epic.” – Ash, 26

(Writers note: I would like to start integrating “totally epic” into my daily parlance – please and thank you.)

So there you have it, nuggets of moderation wisdom from both the most important people in my life and some folks that just randomly follow me on Instagram.

It seems I wasn’t so far off in believing moderation, in both opinions and actions, may come with age. It is a trait that seems more manageable as we get older. Hell, I noticed it in going from 22 to 23 – imagine where I’ll be when I’m 40!

If I’ve learned anything from the above responses to my inquiry, it is that those who do harness moderation fully seem to be getting the best of both worlds. They get to taste all of the food at the buffet of life instead of overdoing it on the crab puff appetizers only to spend rest of the night in the bathroom.

Now, if that isn’t food for thought, I don’t know what is..

Image via Shutterstock

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CallMeVictoria

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