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Work can be a miserable place if you make it that way. Some of these folks went a different route.
I had a conversation with a buddy of mine at the office last week: How many people do you think have banged in our office since it opened ten years ago? I set the over-under at twenty. We are a company of about fifty people, so it was a number that made sense to me. Surprisingly, he took the over. He said there were a lot of rumors about how this company operated when it opened that led him to believe that number could be doubled. I couldn’t believe it.
NSFW work action is apparently a more common occurrence than I would have suspected, as evidenced by this Reddit thread. In it, random people share stories about the most NSFW experience they ever witnessed at their place of employment. Enjoy.
From Reddit:
My boss asked me to take a look at a couple drawers in his master bath (we built his house) after I fixed the problem I started walking out of the bathroom just as his 14 year old daughter was coming in completely naked just holding a towel in her hand. She froze in shock, I immediately put my head down, apoligized and turned back into the bathroom.
When everything was clear I immediately bolted back to the shop. My boss walked in and asked if everything was ok? I said yes.
I later found out he had asked other coworkers if I had told them of a peculiar story. They all said no. This is the first time I bring it up since it happened 3 years ago. Every now and then I see the daughter when she comes with her dad, she says hi I say hi and that’s it.
Hope he doesn’t read Reddit (or PGP).
Worked for a trucking/delivery company one summer. A woman got fired for,… well,.. I guess you’d call it nymphomania. She would disappear for 20 minutes pretty often without a good explanation. She got caught having sex at least 4 times that I know of (once with a customer in the bathroom, 3 times with the drivers in their trucks.) She was warned in writing to stop having sex while at work. She just couldn’t do it, the last time both she and the truck driver got fired on the spot.
It’s an addiction.
A while back I worked at a company of about ~300 people. One of the guys I worked with was convinced another dude in the department next to us jerked off in the bathroom. So he watches the dude all night until it’s like 2:00 AM (night shift) and he finally goes to the bathroom. He followed jack-offer into the bathroom, stands up on the toilet with his phone and records him.
He was jacking off. The guy showed HR the next day and they were both fired. They were both pretty stupid.
Not sure which offense is worse..
Boss bangs receptionist. Wife finds out. Wife says either she goes or I go. Boss pays receptionist $50k to leave so she wouldn’t sue for wrongful dismissal.
6 months go by… boss hires a wayyyyy hotter receptionist just last month. Now we wait…
He’s going to bankrupt himself.
I worked at a gym that would do anything to sign up new members. As part of the out-reach promotions, members of the sales team would regularly head out into the city to hand out free one-day passes, with the hope of converting them once they had their details on file. One day a homeless guy comes in with a pass. We couldn’t say no and he headed inside to use the showers – fair enough. The changing rooms were checked hourly, as were the showers; and it was during these checks that a member of my team noticed blood trailing into the shower gutter. On checking, the homeless guy had taken his opportunity of a free shower to treat himself to a DIY pedicure, as he sat carving the hard skin off his feet with a razor blade.
You do what you want with a free one day pass, my friend.
Deployed in Afghanistan. I was in the shower when all of a sudden we were being hit by incoming mortars. One of the mortars landed so close and loud that I didn’t think twice about grabbing a towel. I ran straight to the nearest bunker and apparently I wasn’t the only one that reacted the same way. So here I am with 10 other people completely nude. Everyone was hiding their goods and not even so much as a giggle was heard. Slowly but surely, hands were growing weary, fear of another mortar attack had subsided, and the laughing started. Eventually, nobody cared that they were being seen in the nude by the opposite sex. Boobs and cocks were all over the place and it was the first time in 8 months since I’ve seen so much as a side boob. The mental images from that incident had held me over for the duration of the deployment. We got the “all clear” to exit the bunker and everyone went about their business. Made a lot of close friends that day.
War Orgy.
Coworker found the (married with kids) boss banging one of the cashiers in the safe room. He was late 40’s. She was 18.
At least it was legal?
The girl who had been writing sex toys and other stuff off as expenses and used them with her customer was a good one. She unsurprisingly went to work for that customer after she got fired.
That sounds like an expense to me.
One of my coworkers often would pull up her dress and flash another girl in the office for fun. One time she decided to do it in the copy room just as the owner of he company walked in.
What a..fun little joke?
This will probably get buried, but what the hell:
20+ years ago, I worked at a bookstore.
The store was carpeted.
One day, the manager elected to 1) wear a skirt without undies and 2) sit on the floor while doing inventory. The manager, it turns out, had multiple genital piercings.
She got stuck to the carpet.
This is definitely one of my all-time favorites.
HR lady grabbing my junk under the table at company picnic. Move her hand and look over and she is doing the same thing to my boss on the other side of her. She may have been slightly intoxicated.
It’s the perfect crime.
Secretary got caught having sex with an intern in a room where we kept all the filing cabinets. They had started so fast that the secretary had left one of the shelves open and she held onto it to “stabilize” herself. The pair got so excited at one point that the intern quite literally pelvic thrusted her so hard that the secretary slammed the shelf closed with her body while her fingers were still in the shelf and broke most of her fingers.
The resulting scream is how we all found out.
Legendary intern.
Guy Snapchatted himself getting a blow job from a girl who was under his desk (He was fired).
Who the hell did he send it too that ratted on him?
I overheard a new hire mention to someone that he had found a flash drive on the floor in the break room, “but it was just blank.” I told him to let me see it. I have my PC set to “show hidden files.” Noob didn’t. It was full of hundreds of pictures of someone’s wife, naked, sucking a dick, getting fucked, using a vibe, posing, and on and on. The guy’s face wasn’t in any of the pictures.
The funny part is that all the pictures had been renamed. There were only a couple left with the default name. Hundreds of files had each been manually renamed. “Brushing her teeth with her titties out.jpg” “Sucking my hard cock in a blue night gown.jpg” “Spreading her pussy on the bed.jpg” “Fucking her ass with the handle of her hairbrush and licking her lips.jpg”
Then there was a folder with just his first name, Tony, and her name, which I can’t remember. There were a few guys named Tony who worked there. I asked a couple of coworkers if any of them knew any of the Tony-wives’ names. Got a match. Hit Tony up on IM, “Did you lose a flash drive?” He responded with “brt” and about 3 seconds later, he comes speed walking over from his department, bright red, flop sweat, looking like a complete nervous wreck. He took it, said thanks, and walked away.
The weirdest part of this one is definitely bothering to rename the files.
One time at the restaurant I work at, one of our managers at the time went into the employee parking lot and had sex with an employee while on the clock. They were both in his car butt ass naked when the girl’s boyfriend, who happened to work at the Taco Bell next door, came over and pulled my manager out of his car and beat the shit out of him while he was still naked.
Would have been a great sight to see.
Have your own NSFW work stories? Share them in the comments below. If you can top these, I’ll be impressed.
Read the entire thread, if you’re looking for more..
[via Reddit]
Image via YouTube
Respond
I work for a company that pairs attractive male and female post grads and flies us all around the country every single week of the year. Hotel rooms often go unused bc bumping uglies is more fun than sleeping alone. Pretty much anytime there’s more than 10 of us in the same area, we can expense one night of recklessness. One night in Seattle, my boss gets plastered to the point that someone needs to take her back to the hotel. About 3am, I’m getting back to my room when a coworker txt me that ” (boss) just left my room pantsless and is on the hunt for you”
Yo, you guys hiring?
I’m not even interested in the sexual misadventures part of this job (alright I am but like legally I’m not allowed to be) but it sounds like a kickass place to work.
I work in the downtown area of an SEC college town in an office building that is directly across the street from a massive privately-owned student housing complex called “The Hub” (no, I’m not kidding). It should be noted that all of the windows are see-through and not tinted at all, and 95% of the population in this building are sorority girls. One day, I’m having a meeting in my office with 3-4 other co-workers (all guys) and we all see, out of the corner of our eyes, two college students wildly going at it. We just sit there in disbelief for about 2 minutes, watching this go down, when our department’s secretary walks in and sees us watching these two 21 year old’s having sex. She stands at the window, watching with us, until 30 seconds later she walks out and says, “Well, he’s not very creative is he?”
so whats up with your secretary?
Ole dude doesn’t know a vagina from a hole in the ground, or the secretary is into some freaky shit. This definitely deserves a follow up. Do it for the content.
I really want to know what is creative, you know, for science…
My former manager told me he would treat me to drinks if I said the words “Wet P*ssy” (sorry I hate that word, can’t stand to type it). He was in his 50s and I was about 26 at the time. I eventually put a mirror in my cube because he would sneak up right behind me when I was in my chair and his junk would literally be an inch from my face when I would turn around.
Yeah but how were the drinks?
You’re in your late 20s and you can’t type “Pussy”? It might be time to take off those rose-colored glasses and become an adult.