Having A Change Of Clothes At The Office Is A Power Move

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Yesterday, my co-worker came into my office looking for marketing materials. For reasons unbeknownst to me, maybe because I am the youngest and therefore most easily manipulated, my office has become the storage space for a new wave of logo clad pens and notebooks.

(Jokes on them though, I swear if they fire me I’ll take all the material with me and use it as kindling.)

“Sure Chrissy,” I said.

Swiveling around in my desk chair and removing the headset that I only wear so as to deter the incessant office chatters that like to loiter by my door, I pulled open the bottom drawer of my personal XL file cabinet.

As I rummaged around for said materials, Chrissy, who has a reputation of being nosier than the Kremlin, watched as I pushed aside my emergency soup stash (Campbells only), an extra-large bottle of Nyquil, and my Overnight Office Set.

I handed Chrissy the stack of glossy brochures as she raised a singular eyebrow so high some could have mistaken it for her hairline.

“Yes Chrissy?”

“Is that a change of clothes?”

“Yes Chrissy.” I replied.

“…For what?…” she giggled, leaning on my door frame as if we were teenagers gossiping in a hallway.

[Pregnant Pause]

“Oh, in case a client comes and I need to look extra-professional.”

I smiled, then proceed to follow her out, shut the door, and sit back down to have a quiet moment with myself.

To put it lightly, I was shook.

Never in my life has it dawned on me that other women in their 20s don’t have Office Overnight Sets.

I mean, the rap artist formerly known as Benjamin Franklin said it himself: If you fail to prepare, you are preparing to fail.

I don’t think that life motto applies to anything more aptly than drinking and business. You know?

My Overnight Office Set consists of the following: 1 dress, 1 pair of slacks, 1 button up white shirt, 1 set of undergarments, 1 toothbrush, 1 hairbrush, and 1 pair of heels. It lives in my office until, once in a blue moon, I call upon it to save me from myself.

Maybe you’re thinking, isn’t having multiple changes of clothes at the office premeditating a wild night out?

In other words, does removing the necessity to go home the morning after an adult sleepover make me more inclined to have one too many drinks at the bar, thus initiating an on the dance floor make-out followed by a quick uber to his place on a work night, knowing I can go straight to the office in the morning? No.

What makes me inclined to do that is my proclivity for a good time, determination to take advantage of my supremely high alcohol tolerance, and a deeply rooted desire to say fuck you to every lifestyle blog out there insinuating that I have to meal prep, go to bed at 9:30 pm, and drink lemon water daily to be a successful young professional woman.

My Overnight Office Set does not instigate my reckless behavior, but rather indicates that I have managed expectations, anticipated obstacles, and appropriately prepared. So, when morning rolls around and I’m not nestled in between my down comforter and hypo-allergenic mattress like normal, it ain’t no thing.

All it takes is an early-ish arrival to the office, a discrete slip into the woman’s bathroom, a lot of running water and advil, and a quick change of clothes and I’m back on my game.

With the help of my Overnight Office Kit I look clean and ready to close deals by 8 am.

I refuse to be late, look hungover, or skip a morning meeting because, why? I didn’t “anticipate taking a liking to the finance associate at the young professional mixer?” Please. I’m a lot of things, but naive isn’t one.

There is no shame in the game Chrissy, and while my overnight set might not see all that much action, it’s there for me when I need it. Unlike you and your judgey looks.

So please, either save your eyebrow raising for someone who is boring or take this as a lesson, get yourself a spare ensemble, and hop on board – I’ll see you in the bathroom at 7 am.

Otherwise, when you stay out too late and need a spare set of tights, don’t come crying to me..

Image via Shutterstock

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CallMeVictoria

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