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I’ve been on dating apps for a long time, so I’ve seen a lot of infractions in my day. Beaten to death are the selfies: gym selfies, mirror selfies, car selfies, the selfie where the guy lifts up his shirt and tries to flex while forcing a normal-looking face. But you know what hasn’t gotten much attention until now? Fish holding pictures. I once saw a guy on Tinder with all six of his photos holding different fish. I swiped right out of sheer amazement. Other than that, I’ve always viewed fish holding pictures in the way I imagine guys view my “candid” brunch mimosa picture. To say “I’m basic but in the normal way, not in an obnoxious way.” Neither are meant to be the ultimate influence on the swiping decision.
But apparently I’m just flat out wrong. A recent study polled 1,000 sorority women in Florida and found nearly 50% of them were more attracted to guys who had a photo holding a fish than those who did not have any such photo. Now, I know that sample population isn’t the most diverse, but for dudes trying to get laid, I think that’s probably a good place to start. We have all seen what sorority girls look like in Florida.
Don’t rejoice too early, though – turns out the species of fish makes a difference: “Nearly 25 percent of women said the Great Northern Tilefish made the dude smiling next to it look the most attractive, followed by the Sailfish. ‘Lean, powerful, and independent, it could be interpreted that a Sailfish in a man’s dating profile hints at athleticism, finess [sic], and free-spiritedness,’”
If I’m being completely honest, I have never paid attention to the type of fish a guy is holding in his photo. I am looking for two things: 1) Does he have a passable dad bod? 2) Is the boat clearly a rental or is there a chance he owns it? A guy could pose with a Subway sandwich on a boat and I probably wouldn’t even notice. That said, I am not the scientist here.
“Women weren’t into pics with juvenile carp (less than one percent of them said it was hot). Maybe it’s due to its teeny size (juvenile carp only grow up to six inches) or maybe women just really hate carp—for whatever reason, it’s probably best not to go there.”
So the bad news is it looks like you kind of have to know what you’re doing. Can’t be showing up with some dinky ass juvenile carp and expect to start hitting home runs out the gate. The good news: buy a nature handbook or get really good at Photoshop, and you have a shot.
Now, it should be addressed that this study was done A) by a fishing company (go figure) and B) in Florida, where they love their fishing like they love committing weird crimes. That doesn’t necessarily discount its findings, but keep in mind it probably has not been peer-reviewed within the scientific community. With all studies, use discretion when applying it to your life. We don’t need any more irresponsible dating app behavior out there than there already is. .
[via Women’s Health]
Image via Shutterstock
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Best
Best specializes in making fun of men and wondering why she is still single. She has over 6,000 followers on Periscope, the reason for which she has yet to figure out. Her Tinder bio once went viral for including a pretty mediocre fart joke. Neither of these events she allows anyone in her life to forget.
@WhatTheHellTina
@t_mihel
tina_mihel
What a cheap way to try and hook more matches.
Just noticed the new pic, Todd..can’t say I’m a fan.
You’re the last person anyone needs dating or relationship advice from, Todd.
“it could be interpreted that a Sailfish in a man’s dating profile hints at athleticism, finess [sic], and free-spiritedness,”
I’ll take “women overanalyze the shit out of nothing” for $400, Alex.
“Dinky-ass, juvenile carp”…is this a metaphor?
Maybe because I grew up in the country or it’s the animalistic biology in me looking for a provider for my non existent family, but a guy holding a fish usually does attract me, or at least my attention, more.
Sup?
If the guy is actually into fishing and caught the thing himself, then I think it’s a cool picture to have and makes him more attractive in my eyes. If he’s just being a poser about it, then I’ll pass.
You must not be familiar with the underground fish photo market. People hire others from 3rd world countries to work tirelessly at catching beautiful/photogenic fish. The kind of fish that Vogue would put on their cover. Then the fish are brought over to the US and a professional food photographer is hired to take the shot for customer to post on their dating profiles. It’s really hard to keep this industry going because most of the people overseas end up dying prematurely of starvation. It’s a cruel industry and it must be stopped. PETA overlooks it because the fish aren’t harmed and they don’t give a fuck about people.
I feel your resident troll account and satirical comments are often under appreciated. Keep on keepin’ on.
Yes, this is exactly what I mean.
It’s kind of like Foxcon and how they have suicide prevention nets for their employees except these fisherman get caught by the nets and then drown because like the ocean is made of water and stuff and we can’t breath in water which is fucking annoying because it’s 2016.
You seriously need therapy, Nived.
Oh come on, obviously I’m not being serious.
Why would someone post a picture of themselves with a fish they didn’t catch? I’m not going to go to the grocery store, buy a fish, rent a boat, and then have someone take a picture of me with the fish on the boat, just so I can put it into my Bumble profile. That’s sociopath level shit. I’d much rather rather crush a few domestics and catch them myself. And then forget to take the pictures.