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Ghosting is a topic that has been discussed ad nauseam on this site since it first became popularized in the era of Tinder and other dating apps. We’ve also seen this practice spread to the job world, as employers have taken to ghosting applicants mid-way through the interview process. But, unbelievably, this has progressed even further.
According to The Washington Post, employees have begun “ghosting their employers like bad dates.” That’s right, you heard me proper people. Workers. People hired for a company and getting paid actual money for their labor. They’re just straight up leaving work one day, not showing up the next day, and never contacting their boss again.
I honestly couldn’t believe when I read some of these passages. Like I would understand people ghosting out of interviews in this more mobile and employee-friendly job market. I wouldn’t advise it, it’s still an unprofessional, trash move, but I would get it. People get busy, overwhelmed, it can be easy to not respond to an interview request.
But if you’ve already interviewed, if you get offered the job, if you get the job? No, no fucking excuse. You have to at least have the courtesy to fire off a quick text or e-mail to the boss saying “no thanks” or “I quit.”
This isn’t about protecting these poor companies. I’m all about screwing “the man” after multiple years of job searching while getting no response, dick-ish responses, or, worse, a terrible job. I get the instinct, that these companies don’t owe you anything and they’ve acted like it for years, so turnabout is fair play. Totally understand.
But this isn’t about them, this is about you. You may not owe those companies anything, but you owe yourself and your career prospects something. Ghosting out of a job is a career killer if you want to work in a remotely similar field. No matter what the field, no matter if you’re moving across the country, people talk. Your reputation follows you and eventually being known as the guy who left his job and never came back will kill you. Just take a look at some excerpts from this piece:
“A number of contacts said that they had been ‘ghosted,’ a situation in which a worker stops coming to work without notice and then is impossible to contact,” the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago noted in December’s Beige Book, which tracks employment trends.
I’ve always said that ghosting is fine when it comes to dating in situations where neither side feels invested and there is sort of a mutual understanding that this wasn’t going to be a wrong term thing. That’s the reason you don’t expect employers to follow up with you within a week of submitting your application and why it’s not a big deal if that girl you went out with twice stops returning your texts. This is not that.
Ghosting out of a job is like ghosting out after you and a girl agree to become exclusive. It’s not doable, it’s stupid, it’s uncouth. That employer and that girl have a right to an explanation as to what happened to you because they have invested their time and energy into training you (except in the girl case where…no you know what training is still accurate).
As for being “impossible to contact,” that’s just plain a wuss move by anyone. If you’re quitting a job, be a fucking adult and tell your boss. Lie if you have to, say you’re moving across the country, whatever. It’s corporate America, where everyone talks shit to people they hate working with through the big smile they flash that same asshole.
Applicants blow off interviews. New hires turn into no-shows. Workers leave one evening and never return.
No, no, and fuck no. Blowing off an interview, without even giving an explanation, is pure laziness. You can get away with not going to an interview, and not providing advanced notice because you got a new job. That’s a shitty thing to do, but you can salvage it by at least touching base after the fact, let them know you’re sorry and it was because you got another offer. It’s still not the right and professional move, and you’ll be on a blacklist for that employer, but it’s not going to annihilate all your career prospects.
Getting hired for a new job and not showing up, that’s a lot harder to justify. You’ve taken the job, you’ve filled out your W-2 form, and most importantly you signed a contract. As a lawyer, let me tell you: just not fulfilling your contractual obligations can get you in some pretty hot water. Yes, most states are at-will employees meaning you can terminate at any time, but still, you should have enough decency to give someone a reason why you’re breaking an agreement you signed with them.
Finally, as discussed above, a worker leaving one evening to never return is the height of unprofessionalism. Even worse than microwaving fish in the communal kitchen. You’ve not only left your company high and dry, but all your work is going to be passed on to your hapless co-workers, as they struggle to do your work and theirs until a replacement can be found. Two weeks notice exists for that very reason, so employers can plan out the next phase after you leave, rather than scrambling to see if you died.
Over the summer, he heard from clients emerged in his own life. A job candidate for a recruiter role asked for a day to mull over an offer, saying she wanted to discuss the terms with her spouse.
Then she halted communication.
“In fairness,” Howarth said, “there are some folks who might have so many opportunities they’re considering they honestly forget.”
As someone who spent months grinding the application and interview process, let me play a song on the world’s smallest violin for those people who get so overwhelmed with job opportunities that they forget to reply on existing offers. Must be so tough swimming in your piles of money since the money pool won’t finish construction until next week. Fuck you, no one just forgets that someone offered them a job. You might forget to return an e-mail offering you an interview, but if you’ve met with an employer, interviewed, and followed up with them, there’s no chance you forgot when they finally do drop some money. These people are cowards.
“We generally make two offers for every job because somebody doesn’t show up,” said Rebecca Henderson, chief executive of Randstad Sourceright, a talent acquisition firm.
This is how companies adapt, by taking steps that screw other potential employees because a few of us were so goddamn greedy and selfish we can’t have a shred of decency or integrity to make the employment process work somewhat easily. I mean, how awful would you feel if you were unemployed, going on interview after interview, finally getting a job, and on day one you show up and your boss points to another guy at the desk you were going to be taking and saying “this is Steve. We, uh, didn’t think he’d take the job so we offered it to you too, but since he’s here…you’re gonna have to go home.”
A few of his staffers were college students who lived in park dormitories for the summer.
“My favorite,” he said, “was a kid who left a note on the floor in his dorm room that said ‘sorry bros, had to ghost.’ ”
Someone who ghosts doesn’t say they’re going to ghost. By giving notice that you’re ghosting, you negate the ability to ghost. It’s like getting up in the middle of the party and shouting “I’m Irish goodbyeing now!” That’s not how it works.
Zach Keel, a 26-year-old server in Austin, made the call last year to flee a Texas bar-slash-cinema after realizing he would have to clean the place until sunrise.
Oh, fuck all this guy. He worked at a bar-slash-cinema and left because he realized he might have to clean for a while? Newsflash dude, at my first job I had to clean an ice rink for hours after it closed. I was 16 and I did that shit because if I understood that sometimes you have to do hard, menial labor that you don’t want to do if you want money. You’re ten years older than I was, and you still don’t appear to have grasped that concept.
More work, he calculated, was always around the corner.
I’m sorry my jaw just dropped onto the floor so hard I think I knocked five teeth out. More work is around the corner at this job, so fuck it I’m out? That is literally every job in the world. As a lawyer, I don’t just win one case and then everyone says “perfect, you’re done forever. Here’s the yearly salary forever and have a nice life.” Good luck to him finding something where there won’t be more work around the corner.
“I didn’t call,” Keel said. “I didn’t show up. I figured: No point in feeling guilty about something that wasn’t that big of an issue. Turnover is so high, anyway.”
“I figured, no point in feeling guilty about stealing all that money from the bank,” the robber said. “More money will get printed, anyway, it’s not that big of an issue.” Of all the reasons to justify not quitting, the fact that they’ll just hire someone else has to be the stupidest of them all.
Someone who feels invested in an enterprise is less likely to bounce, write Melissa and Johnathan Nightingale, co-authors of “How F*cked Up Is Your Management?: An uncomfortable conversation about modern leadership.”
“Employees leave jobs that suck,” they said in an email. “Jobs where they’re abused. Jobs where they don’t care about the work. And the less engaged they are, the less need they feel to give their bosses any warning.”
Again, I get this. If a job is abusive, pays poorly, and destroys your psyche, you should quit at the first chance you get (read, the first job that gives you an offer). Even in this case, though, don’t just not show up one day. Be a man (or woman) and do the right thing: drop your pants mid-call with a conference, tell your boss to kiss your ass, and walk out pantsless, middle fingers extended until security hauls you out. I’d rather be the guy who goes down making a scene than just vanishing. At least you can respect someone going out in a blaze of glory. .
[via The Washington Post]
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@joshetyler
@joshetyler
I put in my two weeks notice for my current role since I will be starting a new job at the beginning of the new year. It’s not a conversation that anyone wants to have, but the fact that I have invested time and effort in my company at least warrants some respect on my part. The worst things in life are a result of lost time. If someone has the courtesy to spend their time on me, they deserve a response, as short as it may be.
I don’t know why anyone would want to miss out on this part. To me, the best part about getting a different and higher paying job is telling your boss you’re leaving for something better
Watching them squirm to put together a counter is better. Esp when that counter is low but they have to present it.
The absolute minimum should be a Monday morning email with just these words “Boss – My last day of employment here is Friday” Literally just so they know you didn’t die.
Making two offers for one role is gonna get real awkward when both of the people show up and then they’re forced to fight to the death to get the position.
Give them a broken pool stick.
“Make it fast.”
They meant that they give two offers, after the first one doesn’t show up. They don’t offer two people jobs and say “okay, both of you show up on Monday.” That’s stupid and the writer of this article clearly didn’t understand that.
I was being a bit cheeky with how I characterized it, but the original WaPo article does say that some jobs will literally offer two people the same job and if both accept they’ll fold one of them into a different position than the one they interviewed for.
Now this makes sense.
We had a guy at work just not show up (not online or anything) and it took work 3 weeks to fire him. Got 3 weeks of checks plus PTO paid out while he had taken a job with his family business. Apparently hated his manager so much, he wanted to see how long he would get paid for doing nothing.
nice
I keep on thinking when I hear about people ghosting their jobs of what they would do if they didn’t get paid properly like getting compensated for PTO. Now, you’re going to have to talk to a company you just ghosted to get that money.
Only feasible bc he went to work for his family and presumably won’t be on the market again
Family business could be small and go under. Then what?
PGP
You never want to burn professional bridges, it’s a small world out there. I experienced this myself when I found out that my supervisor at a job my senior year of college in LA knew my mentor from my internship in SF, where I had worked the previous summer. The two of them had worked together for years in Boston.
Exactly. That wouldn’t be the best conversation between the two.
“Hey, you know Bill too?”
“Yeah, he quit on me without notice. Such an ass.”
“Uhh…”
Burn 2 bridges with 1 stone… or something.
I think you meant “feed 2 bridges with 1 scone”
I hope that’s a vegan scone.
Rats* I forgot.
*Dadgummit
Telling someone the truth is never as bad as it seems. Ghosting is chicken shit behavior.
10/10 agree
Ghosting is shitty from both ends, when I take time off of work to interview with your company, you at least owe me an automated response
We hired someone, told them they start work at 8 am Monday morning. The guy showed up at 10, and we almost fired him but needed someone to work. He left for lunch at noon and never came back. Two weeks later he called about getting paid. That took some nerve.
Ghosting is inconsiderate and immature, but you need to keep in mind when youre looking for a different job you need to protect yourself. If your management finds out you want to leave they might quicken that leaving process; no one is irreplaceable. You shouldn’t give any indication youre planning on leaving until you have a start date at the next company. Some companies have a tendency to walk people out right after they give a notice, depending on your company and relationship with management I wouldnt assume they let you stay for two weeks. Though for moving within a company, your manager could be a big help so it might be worth keeping them in the loop, also you’d still be in the same company so the relationship might be useful down the road.
Hahahahahaha men need to be trained get it??? Because they’re stupid animals????? Fuck two weeks notice, in most at-will states, giving two weeks will get you escorted out immediately anyway. If they can drop you at a moment’s notice with no explanation, you can do the same. If enough of these happen, maybe employees will actually achieve some basic workplace rights.
Honestly, my manager would have a panic attack if I put in only 2 weeks notice.
Sounds like an unhealthy work relationship chief
Yeah they got me by the nuts, ATL.
In her defense, it generally takes more than 2 weeks to find a suitable candidate, check background/references and then agree on a start date.
Hope you’re using this as ammo to ask for a raise for the new year.
Agree with Bill Nye(for once)- can’t tell if you’re joking about “they got me by the nuts” – while I agree it takes more than 2 weeks to find a suitable candidate, etc. I still think 2 weeks is enough notice, after that the crew may be running lean for a couple weeks before they get someone in there, but if that ruins them then chances are they were understaffed to begin with. I used to feel bad about quitting, but then I realized nobody’s going to take my career as seriously as I do, just my 2 cents