======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Thoreau. Hemingway. Salinger. Yeezy. And now, me. What do all of these literary artists have in common? They’ve taken time to go of the grid and revitalize themselves, and returned stronger than ever (most of the time). They get in touch with nature, with themselves, and they find their own blissful inspiration. And that’s how I come to you today.
That’s right. At around noon on Saturday, May 13th, I decided to go off the grid for the next 60 hours. Did the fact that the touch screen on my cell phone stopped working play into this? Let’s not dive into the details of it all. The fact is, I completely ceased all technological communication from the world for two and a half days. To be clear, I had a laptop with me and was able to use Twitter DMs and Facebook messaging to communicate in case of emergency, but still. Two and a half days with no phone? That’s a long ass time. That’s enough time to watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy six times over. Seriously. I did the math.
Whenever people do this whole “off the grid” thing, they always come back gushing about how great it was to get in touch with themselves and figure out who they ~really~ are. I won’t lie, I did exactly that and what I learned about myself was kind of terrifying. Okay, terrifying might not be the best choice of words. It’s not like I’m a serial killer painting the walls of my apartment with my victims’ blood. But in the sense of my absolute inability to function without my phone, it’s kind of weird to think about.
For the longest time, I thought I wanted to be one of those people who could cut all ties, pack a backpack and move to a beach town where I could bartend for the rest of my life. I thought I could do it, and at one point I even planned on it. Said plan was faulty for a few reasons, the first being that I don’t know the first thing about bartending, and the next and more important being that I have an absurd case of FOMO. Even if I take a few days off and am having a great time on my own, I’m dreading finding out what everyone else did during those few days because what if it was cooler than what I was doing?
What’s worse is that it goes both ways. Not only am I afraid of missing out on what everyone else is doing, I want everyone to know what I’m doing. Case in point: on Saturday night, I realized that I went to high school with the head bartender at our favorite bar and drank for free all night. Frankly, it was fucking awesome, and I had no way to document it in the moment. No Snaps or Instagram Live or Tweets. Just this column and word of mouth stories to tell of the night, post-mortem.
Let me be very clear, I had a fun night. Not having my phone has forced me to live more “in the moment,” paying more attention to my surroundings and the people I’m spending time with. Conversations, while drunk, were more insightful and less about one of our timelines or feeds. I got to be with friends who I haven’t spent time with in ages, and it was amazing. And I don’t have any pictures to remember it by.
When it’s all said and done, I’m sure I can live without my phone. It’s always nice to take a few hours and unplug from everything. That’s something I’ve done before, but the thing is I’ve always been able to come back and reconnect whenever I want. To go completely off the grid, no connection to other people through the internet? No thanks. Count me out. .
Respond
Charlie
Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism since 1993. At any given moment I'm either tired, drunk, or stressed out. Get at me at charliepgp@gmail.com or whatever.
@therescharlie
@herescharlie
herescharlie
So going “off the grid” now means a laptop with internet connection in a major US city???
I’m starting to think the Baby Boomers were right about us…
“off the grid” and “at our favorite bar” seem pretty opposite. I’m calling poppycock on this article
Yea, I started reading this thinking that he had gone off to some remote area and camped out for a few days free of people and technology. This article should have actually been titled “Not Having Your Phone For a Few Days Sucks.”
Summer 2013. Fell in the water with my phone in my pocket. Spent the next three weeks without it. Best time of my life.
How did it take you three weeks to get a replacement?
I did something very similar to that, but I had my Mac for iMessage. Work was a real bitch without a phone
That sounds like my hell.
Sorry Charlie, but that’s not off the grid. Come to the ranch in west Texas where my family hunts and there’s no cell service for about a 5 mile circle and no 4G or LTE connection within a 20 to 30 minute drive. Only thing to do is drink, hunt, and grill/smoke what you kill.
God bless places like that. After that initial shock of no communication with the world, it’s liberating
“Conversations, while drunk, were more insightful and less about one of our timelines or feeds.”
If someone tried to talk about their social media timeline/feed with me, I would cut all ties with that person.
But what’s gonna happen when the grid goes off of us from a solar flare or a Chinese/Russian hacker? We’d all be in our cities and at bars and outside having to actually deal with each other and our bullshit. Have you talked to a stranger for more than 5 minutes? It’s mostly terrible. People are terrible and when we’re all in close proximity of each other with no distraction or escapism, things get real weird. People are cool in short bursts but too much of a good thing is a bad thing and there’s also too many people on this planet. We’re gonna have to kill off some of ya, sorry but we need a nuclear war to hit the reset button on humanity in order to fully connect and become one with nature lol
“Lol”
It’s my coping mechanism for dealing with the truth. Laughter is the best medicine so they say
Man your pic is fucking scary
Charlie, I like your material. I’m constantly rooting for you. However, I’m gonna have to disagree here. Look, you even said it yourself that FOMO and technology has turned you into a neurotic mess, always caring about what others think of you and see what you’re doing.
Take some time off and step away from it all and you’ll see your happiness and outlook improve.
Are we talking the original cuts of Lord of the Rings, or the clearly superior extended editions?
I’m a supporter of going off the grid for a short period every once in a while provided you are doing something productive. Whether that’s cramming for an exam or going out into a national park to explore for a few days is always a good respite from the 24/7 connectivity.
Going off the grid went fine until my boss left 3 angry voice messages.
Next time, just make sure your mailbox is full.
If you can’t document every part of your amazing night out on every social media platform, did your amazing night out ever really happen?
If you blackout, no, it did not.