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Drinking wine is the status quo for people in their mid-twenties. However, I found myself in my mid-twenties having spent the better part of my drinking career consuming cheap beer with hockey buddies. Ask me about different beers, and I could provide a humble opinion of why I like Budweiser over Miller and how it is completely acceptable to drink an ice cold Bud Light Lime on a sunny day in July. Yet, all I could tell you about wine is that it comes in two colors: red and white.
To be completely honest, I drank wine at least a couple times a year in my college days. My college hockey team had an annual Tour De Franzia event which involved a race to finish a box of wine and ride a bike around a pre-designed course (I’m still not over being runner-up my senior year). Aside from this event, every college party has the guy running around getting people to “slap the bag,” and I enjoyed the occasional slap. So I guess you could say I was educated in boxed wine? But, that doesn’t get you very far in the adult world.
Over the past year or so, I’ve found myself in situations where apparently it wasn’t socially acceptable to order a Bud on draft. Such as dinner with my girlfriend’s family where all I was offered is a glass of red wine, because what mid-twenty post grad doesn’t enjoy a glass of vino, right? You can’t turn down the kind gesture of an alcoholic beverage, so naturally I indulged. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t the Franzia my taste buds were accustomed to. Experiences such as this motivated me to no longer be the light beer drinking asshole at those stupid wine and cheese dinner parties.
Full disclosure, this whole transition goes a lot smoother when you are offered a glass of red wine from someone who knows a good bottle. My first time buying a bottle of red wine was the most overwhelming experience I had in a liquor since my first time using my fake ID. I just started drinking wine, so how could I know the difference between a blend, Cabernet, and Merlot? So I picked one and hoped for the best because I refused to ask for help. You might ask why I decided red wine, and the simple answer is that I subconsciously decided that white wine was for pussies. So that was that.
Side note on buying a bottle of wine: having a corkscrew is extremely important because my roommate and I resorted to just hammering a screw driver through the cork and committing to the full bottle.
This is how wine came into my life. Now, here’s my take on it: It’s a good alcoholic beverage, but never will it quench the hankering for an ice cold beer. It has its benefits, though. First, I can drink a whole bottle and feel the same as I would after 4-6 beers. Beers have more calories, so I can protect myself from the dad bod a little longer. Second, it is socially acceptable to drink a whole bottle of wine on a Monday after work, which is great. Lastly, it bridges a gap between the college lifestyle and the cube life. Do I ever fill like the pretentious wine drinking douche bag we all chirped while slamming our ice cold Keystones? Yes, I do. I justify it with some “logical” reasoning, though, such as: I’ve never bought a bottle over $20, alcohol is alcohol, and I’m not opposed to drinking my wine out of a plastic cup.
At the end of the day, as long as you can still enjoy a cheap beer with a buddy sharing old college war stories over vino and CNN, you’re still a man where it counts the most. Cheers. .
Image via Shutterstock
I hate this new layout more than I hate JayTas’ writing
I’m a big believer that it’s better to buy an $11 bottle of wine that tastes like a $40 bottle, instead of a $40 bottle that tastes like an $11 one.
yea I don’t think you’ll find anybody that would prefer the opposite, but what do I know
I think the point is most people can’t tell the fucking difference.
Apothic Red. $6-$10 a bottle. (Depending on location).I always grab a bottle while grocery shopping. The other pro tip is having a “get together”. Everyone brings a bottle and you end up with like 5-6 bottles left over after the party.
Apothic is my go to when I’m tired of the $3 bottles.
My favorite Chardonnay is $13, and my favorite red is a Nero d’Avola that’s a couple dollars more. Good wine doesn’t have to break the bank
You’ll get into wine and love it. Mostly a beer and gin guy but we keep a couple dozen bottles on hand now. For opening wine, you really have to get a “waiter’s friend” style opener. They’re cheap and insanely easy to use after a couple tries. I made friends out of the bartenders at a wedding last spring (they were volunteers from the bride’s family) by helping them out in a pinch. They kept a full drink in my hand all night.
The only person who would need a couple of tries to open a bottle of wine with a WINE BOTTLE OPENER is the mfker responsible for the new layout.
Those are hands down the best openers. Especially when you’re already a bottle deep and your motor skills are diminishing.
The best part about wine is that many places will legit get you shit hammered pouring free wine samples down your throat in the hopes you will then buy wine. “Yes, I’m looking for a..umm…dry..umm…red. What would you recommend?” Hello 2-3 free samples, and if you’re good you can parlay that right along.
Vino and good ol’ CNN. Classic.
Bourbon and Fox >
Lineman’s is where it’s at. I drink that shit like water to get me through the week.
*Lindeman’s
Have a glass of their finest Pinot Noir in hand as we speak. $3.50 each if you buy a 6 pack at Randalls. Can’t beat it