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Let me see if I can guess your dating routine. You meet someone, maybe at the grocery store or through a mutual friend, but more likely at a bar or through a dating app. You exchange numbers, flirt a little through text, and unless anyone puts up any obvious red flags, it’s time for a grown-up date. I mean, not like, a real grown-up date like dinner, but “grabbing drinks.” You guys go out to a two-money-signs-on-Yelp joint and spend the evening having safe conversations about your lives, all while downing two to three drinks and maybe splitting some Tapas. And it’s fine. But it’s not exciting. It’s not what romantic comedies had you believe your twenties would be like. And it’s certainly not a great story to tell your children when they ask how “mommy and daddy met.”
No, you need something new. Something different, out of your comfort zone, somewhere that forces you to make a real connection.
You need to go to brunch on your first date, and here’s why.
You can choose how long the date runs.
As I previously discussed, our generation is way too ADD to actually go on a full dinner date with someone we don’t know. Are we a bunch of pansies who are scared of commitment? Perhaps, but that doesn’t mean we’re not right. The reason we love “getting drinks” as a first date is because if the person sucks, we’re not stuck with them for two hours (and a 100-dollar bill). Considering 90 percent of the first dates I’ve been on were a result of conversations I don’t remember at the bar, I don’t want to run the risk of being trapped if they turn out to be like this girl.
However, I’ve also been in situations where the date is going great and I want to get to know the other person better. Brunch offers both options. You can start off with some mimosas or bloodies, and then if you guys are clicking, decide to take a look at the food menu and turn this thing into a real date. Or, if the other person looks nothing like their Hinge picture, feel free to have “a yoga class,” or whatever bullshit excuse you’d like. After all, it is the weekend – you’re busy.
Hangovers breed familiarity.
Realistically, if you’re getting brunch, you’re hungover. No one gets brunch on weekdays, and if there are people that don’t go out on weekend nights, I don’t want to hang out with them. I know your first instinct is to think a hungover first date is a nightmare, but you’re wrong. The point of a first date is to really get to know someone and to see if there’s a chance at a relationship. When you’re in the zone over drinks on a Thursday, neither of you are showing your true colors. When you roll in hungover to brunch however, your mind is conditioned to be as transparent as possible. You’re both out of your comfort zone, and somewhere between that second ‘mosa and the first salty dog, you’ll find yourself spilling truth about yourself you usually bottle up until date four. Sure, you may see some crazies, but as I’ve said before, there’s nothing wrong with that.
It makes you stand out.
I guarantee that every person you’ve been on a first date with probably has another few lined up that month, or even that week. Hell, I’ve scheduled back-to-back dates before (because I hate my bank account and love a good story). After a while, they all start to blend together. You have the same conversations, in the same dimly lit bars, and drink the same drinks, and pretty soon, you don’t even know who’s who. I’ve mixed up details about girls to their faces in a way that made it very obvious I couldn’t keep my dates straight, and it sucked. It’s not even that the girls were similar or bland, but when the setting of the conversation is the same, it’s easy to get confused.
That being said, if you go on a brunch date with someone, I guarantee it’s going to stand out. Good or bad, they’ll be looking forward to it and talking about it. “This guy asked me on a date at 11 a.m. on Saturday, who does that?” “I met up with that girl from Bumble at brunch last weekend, it was awesome.” You’re going to be a hot topic in the group chat, and all press is good press. Plus, everyone loves a unique first date story because, in the back of their mind, they’re hoping this will be the one they can tell at the wedding.
You’re more likely to get laid.
I don’t know what it is, but it’s always been easier for me to get laid during the day. Beach parties in high school, tailgates in college, or daytime bar crawls – there’s something about the sun being out that makes people more down to get down. Maybe it’s because you can see clearly and you don’t feel so vulnerable and hidden. Maybe it’s because everyone seems so much friendlier during the day, and you’re more open to doing new things/people. Maybe it’s just because there’s way more excuses to go home with someone in the daylight. At 11:30 p.m., after “grabbing drinks,” the only excuse to give to go home with someone is a half-assed, “let’s drink some wine back at my place.” It sounds lame and forced. During the day you’ve got, “I’m having some friends over to watch the game,” “My roommates are pregaming, let’s join them,” or the tried and true, “Do you want to come home and nap with me?” Everyone loves napping when they’ve been day drinking, and if there’s some sex involved, that’s just a bonus. Plus, you don’t have to commit to spending the night or not, and there’s no shame in going back out after a little romp in the sheets.
Everyone who just scored some digits last weekend or who’s been texting that new match, hit them up for brunch. See how it goes. .
Image via Shutterstock
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Nick Arcadia
The opposite of a life coach. Email or DM me if you want some bad advice: nickarcadiapgp@gmail.com
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This would be a good idea for me if all girls liked guys who can’t form full sentences and have a fifty percent chance of crying.
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Fuck off, Will was having a real moment here and you ruined it.
Maybe they like guys who can’t form full sentences and have a fifty percent chance of crying.
Maybe it’s just me but the last thing I want to do while hungover is try and impress some broad while downing obscene portions of maple syrup
I think I might like this nap move.
Sup?
It’s so simple and direct with its subtext. Seems like it could never work, but I feel like it might be pure genius.
I feel like it puts work on the guy for some solid foreplay. I’m definitely going to make out and fool around, but I might not close the deal if it’s not doing enough for me. Pre-midnight judgment is just a little better than late night.
Pulled this move a couple Sundays ago.. 10/10 would reccomend
What’s this “date” thing you keep talking about.
Not sure. Sup?
God I hope you are a girl. I’ve had enough of men hitting on me online.
Sup?
I think my username more than checks out, so yeah.
Sweet let’s do this date thing. I hear we are suppose to go to brunch, I hope you have low standards.
Give me a couple mimosas and my standards will be low enough.
Sweet, now if you can just over look all of the sci-fi books and the closet full of superhero tee shirts in my apartment, we will get along great.
Serious question – are sci-fi books and super hero shirts a negative? If they are I’m doing life wrong.
As long as they’re framed, you’re doing it right
Just reading about a first date gives me extreme anxiety
I may marry my boyfriend just to avoid ever having to go on a first date again.
Start sending him the engagement signals. Once you date for so long, you reach the point of no return
A little upset I haven’t tried this sooner
Went on a lunch first date Saturday, didn’t hate it.
Went on a brunch date over the summer, made the mistake of it being on a weekday (weird work schedules were involved). It was the most awkward date I’ve ever been on.
Ugh just thinking of the pressure that would be required in planning a brunch date outfit. Somehow perfecting the “casual, I just threw this on but still look cute” look, while it will probably take more outfit changes than a regular date.
Besides that, love this idea so much.