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I’ve been a waitress for the past twelve years now and at the same restaurant no less (thanks for not firing me, Mom and Dad!). So every summer — yes I know I am an awful person for bring up the S-word — I trade ballet flats for tennis shoes and pick up an few extra waiting shifts for some easy cash. From these telling experiences over the past twelve years, I have developed a series of takeaways that highlights the best and worst of customers’ habits.
1. Everyone assumes you’re either stupid or a slacker.
This has got to be my number one pet peeve as a server. Mostly because I am neither stupid nor a slacker. However, it happens about once a month I have this conversation, typically with an older person but it has happened with people of all ages. “Miss, you are really on top of things and seem like a bright, intelligent person. Have you ever considered taking classes at the community college?” I burn on the inside. I seethe anger from my insides. Why do people automatically assume I am uneducated because I am serving their food? Lots of our employees are working on their various degrees or have various degrees of all levels. I use to respond with a causal laugh and smile a walk away. Now, I state in my sweetest voice: “Well I would but I have a Masters Degree in Education. So I am all degreed out! But thanks for the tip!” Usually that person is a mix of curious or embarrassed. And they damn well should be. Don’t assume anything about anybody — it makes an ass out of you and me.
2. Regulars are the best!
I have a set group of regulars that know to just ask for me once summer hits. The new workers are always a little jealous but hey, they were mine before they were yours. They know what they want. They tip well. They are polite and treat you with a level of respect most other customers don’t. I love it when I get them. I don’t throw a fit like some when I don’t get them, but I always make sure to say hello and stop by their table. This is what keeps them coming back.
3. Your coworkers are like your family.
In this world as an adult you don’t often have the chance to make friends with people from all walks of life. In this industry, you get people from all walks of life and you form a bond. There is nothing like surviving a crazy busy night and bonding with a few beers once you are all done. Joking about the mistakes, joking about the customers. It’s one of the greatest feelings in the world. I have gotten plenty of life advice that has been well worthwhile from some of the most interesting characters. In each staff, you always have some you don’t like and some that are like the crazy uncle no one talks to because they are just that: crazies. But for the most part you meet and work with good people that are just trying to live their life.
That being said, I think that dipping your toe in the company silverware is an awful idea. We have lost good workers due to breakups and for the most part it only works out in a few special circumstances. As a general rule, it goes up in fire.
4. People as a whole are just the worst.
I am sure you are all nice, respectful people to whomever is serving you at the time. However, I didn’t say “person,” I said “people.” Overall, my opinion of people has dropped from “everyone is mildly nice” to “everyone else to the world should go up in flames.” I’ve only been back five days this summer. People do not know how to read a menu. People think waving their hands at someone — fifteen seconds after they have just been checked on is acceptable — and literally look at you like you are garbage or an object instead not a living breathing human being with feelings. People are the worst. Whoever is serving you is a person; don’t snap at us like we are animals. You can wait five seconds for the extra napkins I was bringing you anyway.
People have also decided to stop raising their children. If your child needs a phone in front of their face at the age of ten, then there is something wrong here. I know younger kids do need games, coloring, and other things to keep them occupied — I don’t judge — but a ten-year-old is different. I normally would never tell anyone how to raise their child because I work with children. I know it’s difficult. However, this alternative is better than letting your kids roam the restaurant and me almost tripping over them. I am also going to comment that when I ask your child to please sit down in my nicest teacher voice, don’t ask for the manager — he’s my father and he knows I wasn’t rude and you aren’t getting a free meal.
5. No one can bullshit like you.
You can’t bullshit a bullshitter. I’m a firm believer this is one of the reasons why I am an amazing teacher. I can smell when a student is lying. I can also lie with the best of them. Frequently I get tables that know my family and me and I have no idea who they are. Do they know that? Now of course not. I usually — 99% of the time — can carry on the conversation like we are old friends without them figuring it out. I know how to plaster a smile on my face and make it through a shift when I am hungover as all hell, when I don’t want to be there, or when I’ve been going through personal hell. I literally worked through a weekend when I had caught swine flu when I was student teaching. I closed the restaurant the same day we buried my grandfather: not a meltdown, or moment of sadness for my customers to see. It’s not that I am some super strong person, or that I am heartless. It’s that I can fake it with the best of them.
Overall, I wouldn’t trade my second job or family for anything. I love spending summer serving people and seeing them enjoy time with friends and family. And if all else fails: The shorter the shorts, the higher the tips — within reason of course..
Image via Shutterstock
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DietCoke_addict
Dietcoke_Addict has been addicted to caffeine longer than she cares to admit. When she is not enjoying an ice, cold diet coke she can be found explaining to her students that winning a game of foursquare isn’t really a TFM.
Hey, Diet Coke Addict, thanks for doing the things you do both during the school year and during the summer. You work two high-stress, low-pay jobs that are way harder than a lot of people would like to admit and you do them both with a smile on your face. Keep killin’ it.
“Everyone assumes you’re either stupid or a slacker.”
I feel this on so many levels. Graduated college in a STEM field and immediately went into retail. Combination of a fucked up economy, some university fuckery, and some fuck ups on my part. Overall, I knew I could do a good job – I just needed my big break. I’m a gear head so I slung auto parts for a couple years. I always got the “You should be an engineer/designer/technician/etc… What are you doing here?” Waiting on the economy to recover, bruh. Trying to find an employer willing to take a risk on me for an entry level job. $8.50/hour sucks even in a low cost of living town. And management refused to promote me because “you’re just gonna leave as soon as you find the right job.” I was dumping my resume in five major cities in the area it took three years for me to get a job offer in my field.
You never know a person’s story, whether it’s in food service, retail, labor, etc. I used to have the “you’re a slacker” mentality. Three years of living on the other side gives you a lot of perspective. Now I try to pay forward the encouragement and motivation I needed when I was in that boat.
I understand too. When I graduated college I had a hard time finding a job, and took up one as a barista just temporarily. It was always frustrating when people assumed I was stupid just because I was serving them coffee, but it did give me a new found respect for people in the service industry.
Well the comments section is… Disappointing
If you’re hating on people simply because of the job they have and not their job performance, you’re the failure, not them.
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In my best Samuel L. Jackson voice-
“Say ‘gluten free’ again! Say ‘gluten free’ again, I dare you. I double dare you motherfucker, say ‘gluten free’ one more Goddamn time.”
That is the truth!
“Is the steak gluten-free?”
“…it’s steak.”
“…but is it gluten-free steak?”
“ಠ_ಠ”
For me it’s the “foodie” assholes who watch food porn t.v. and now refer to meat as protein. It’s not fucking protein, it’s mammalian flesh. It’s dead animal. It’s a piece of meat. Just because you saw someone on t.v. call it that, you don’t need to. Thanks!
And for the record I’m a former teacher who left the field because of shitty pay, regardless if you have a master’s or not. Supporting a family on $55k a year doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun.
I work for a parochial school…so ya
Universal truth in the service industry: Sunday church crowd is either the most rude or most sweet customers.
Wait.. Did she just admit to serving with swine flu? That’s fucking disgusting and probably illegal
yeah I kind of got hung up on that too.
To be fair I was working that weekend for my parents, who went on vacation, and I honestly didn’t realize something was wrong till Sunday night. I’m not necessarily proud I worked when I was that sick but I knew no one else would cover it- so someone had to do it.
Oh, gotta say I’m THRILLED to have been a sous chef and a server BEFORE the explosion of food porn t.v. No every single fucking asshole in the world thinks they’re a food expert. Sorry, just because you watch some asshole on t.v. doesn’t mean you know anything about running a kitchen, cooking professionally, or much else that goes on in a restaurant.
I’ve been working since I was 12 and my #1 personal rule, which I would like others to follow: no matter what your job, do it to the best of your ability. I mowed lawns, I shoveled snow, I filled potholes one summer in college. And, I worked my ass off at all of them. I’ve also cooked professionally for a living and been a server. Do your job, do it well, and it’ll most likely pay off. Anyone with a job and an attitude makes me want to tell them, “Listen, I didn’t force you to take this job, so don’t act like I did. Just do the best you can and don’t blame me for your bad day.”
**That said, I know there are millions of American’s who come from tough situations and are in dead in jobs. I can understand being unhappy about that, but you still gotta work hard, no matter what.
If you have a Masters Degree in Education and you can only find a job waiting tables, then yeah, I’m going to assume that you’re an idiot. Not just because you’re a waiter, but because you decided to get a worthless degree. There’s a reason your boss pays you under minimum wage and you have to beg for tips.
I take it you didn’t pick up the part that the regulars ask for her once summer comes around. Meaning she is only there during the summer. Meaning she has a real job, most likely a teacher or administrator, which they do not work during the summer when school is closed. So yeah, not a worthless degree.
It’s a worthless degree because of the rate of return. Going to grad school and getting into 6 figure debt makes no sense when you’ll end up being a teacher that makes $45k/year. The fact that she even needs a summer job just proves my point.
Have you looked around the word in which we leave lately? Nothing makes sense. Do you know how many “business” majors there are around here it’s so over saturated with morons while the economy goes to the depths to finger bang itself. There’s enough ego in these people to try and convince me that they don’t lease that lower tier Mercedes to try and give off a false impression of wealth and intelligence. God for fucking bid someone has enough empathy to go into a field that tries to educate the unfortunate souls who will later be turned to ground meat from the very system they wish they weren’t a part of. It’s not their fault that the education system has been turned into a clown show of indoctrination on a 22-24 year loop. The. You get spat out onto the pavement and told that this is how things are supposed to be when nothing is what it’s supposed to be.
If I had all summer off I might get a second job, nothing else to do. It sure as shit wouldn’t be as a waiter though. Volunteer fire fighter maybe… something that isn’t miserable.
She could tutor or do summer school
I make way more money waitressing than I would ever make tutoring- also the demand for history tutors is pretty low, believe it or not!
My God you people are butthurt.
I mean, that tends to happen when you shit on someone who’s waiting tables to make a little more money because she doesn’t make enough doing one of society’s most important and under appreciated jobs.
You can get a master’s in education from a public ivy for $30K. Teachers with master’s will typically earn $65K, starting out. Most schools don’t pay their teachers during the summer. I would get a part-time job as well just to cure the boredom.
Starting at $65k? Yeah, maybe in fucking Hawaii. Come back down to Earth, chief.
Or in Minnesota.
Mom is a teacher, would love to move back to MN to settle down just because we have the best public education system in the country
There isn’t a tremendous amount of money in education, granted, but there is money if you’re smart about it.
All I’m saying is that you probably shouldn’t become a teacher if all you want is to make money. And if I see a server that looks like they’re over 25, I’m going to think, “Yeah, that person probably made some bad choices somewhere in their life.” Because I’m a very judgemental and obnoxious person, this isn’t news to anyone.
No, it proves nothing. If you work in a state that has high standards for teachers, they require a master’s degree. Furthermore, you have absolutely no clue what she paid for it; there are plenty of programs that will pay for your master’s in exchange for dedicating a few years to high need areas and the state schools offer low cost degrees as well that are affordable.
No state requires a master’s degree to be a teacher, however a lot of the administrative and/or district level jobs require a masters of education and many private schools highly prefer a master’s if not require it now.
Why are you trying to justify your OP? You already proved you’re an asshole; we don’t need anymore proof.
Most school systems will cover their employees’ grad degrees.
Of course they can afford to, it comes out of OUR taxes.
Yeah, let’s stop investing in our kids’ education. That’ll work out real well.
Many public schools require you to get a masters degree.
Yeah, community colleges. Not K-12. It might give you a leg up, but it’s not a requirement.
Actually in Kentucky it is a requirement to gain 30 graduate hours, or 30 hours of continuing education if you want your certificate to be renewed.
I think all of you are missing the point of this article
Well the point of the comments is UnproductiveBehavior hates teachers and for some reason isn’t in a good mood mere hours from a holiday weekend.
Yes, perfect takeaway. I’m a terrible person because I don’t want to foot the bill for your Masters degree and I don’t automatically assume that servers at restaurants are Harvard educated. I had no idea I was being so controversial.
I paid it off myself but I’m sorry?
Yeah working your shitty restaurant job that wouldn’t have been necessary if you had gotten a degree in something worthwhile.
Not controversial, just being a prick.
I didn’t call you a terrible person. Maybe if your 12th grade English teacher had a master’s your reading comprehension would be improved enough to see that.
It’s called hyperbole. My reading comprehension is just fine.