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Nudes. Nudies. Naked pics. Whatever you call them, they get a lot of attention. They’re requested constantly. They’re sent constantly. Sometimes they’re wanted. Sometimes they’re absolutely not. Regardless, people are always talking about them. And I get it. Seeing someone you’re attracted to naked is possible the best thing this earthly world has to offer. I love a good nude. But you know what? I’d rather get a good sext, and here’s why.
Sexts are more versatile.
Here’s a list of places you can get a nude pic without immediately covering up your phone and being worried everyone around you thinks you’re a pervert: your house. End list. Anywhere else, and you’re running the risk of your boss, your mom, a stranger on the bus, etc. thinking that you’re a deviant who can’t wait until they get home to watch porn. That’s not a good look for anyone, and you’re not going to be able to sway any minds by saying “it just popped up.” No one has believed that excuse since you tried to use it when you got caught on the family computer in 7th grade.
A sext, on the other hand, is made of mere words. Sure, if someone else read it, they’d turn bright red and have to surreptitiously adjust their pants, but who the fuck is going around reading other people’s texts? Weirdos, that’s who. You know it and they know it. Also, if the mood strikes you, you can respond with a sext of your own no matter where you are. With a nude, you have to go find a bathroom with lighting and a better lock and take at least fifteen minutes composing the perfect picture. Maybe I’m just lazy, but that’s way too much work.
Sexts last longer.
If I get a naked photo at work, I’m going to be pretty damn excited. It’ll turn me on, make me fantasize, and generally distract me from everything I should be doing. For about ten minutes. Then I’ll get caught up talking about the NFL draft with a coworker and forget all about it. A sext, however, can easily turn into a sexting conversation, with each text acting like a small hit of heroin, just enough to keep you hooked until you can’t stand it any longer. (I’ve never done heroin and have no idea if this metaphor makes any sense, but you get what I’m saying). A sext can keep your turned on all day, or keep someone else turned on all day, and that’s hot af. I don’t know if it’s my millennial attention span, but a nude just isn’t going to hold my attention for that long. Don’t tell my girlfriend I said that.
I’m better at it.
I have a fairly average body. I go to the gym enough to barely be able to see my abs, and not one second more. Taking a nude of myself that excited and entices a member of the opposite sex is going to take a half hour, several filters, and every ounce of camera performance my iPhone X offers. That’s a lot of work, and if you know me at all, you know I’m not a fan of work.
Sexting, however, is something I’m fucking awesome at. Not to sound like an asshole, but writing is literally my job. “Writer” is in my job title. In a fraction of the time it would take me to send a photo where I look like I don’t eat pasta three nights a week, I can churn out three paragraphs that would make anyone weak in the knees. With my words, I can craft a fantasy to fit anyone’s desires and leave them wanting, nay, needing more. Can I deliver on those words? Absolutely not, but that’s not the point. For a few brief moments before I disappoint my partner with reality, I’m the greatest lover that’s ever lived.
Sexts are multi-dimensional.
Nudes are awesome, but they only say one thing; that the sender is attractive to look at. And while that’s important, that’s not the only thing that gets people’s blood pumping. Anyone that’s ever been with someone that was so hot they never had to learn how to fuck knows the truth. Looking good in bed is not as important as being good in bed. A nude just proves you look good. With a sext, you can prove (or at least, lie) about your skills. Paint a picture. Get detailed. Get nasty. A good nude can make you want that person, but a good sext can make you want that person NOW.
A sext can tell you more about someone than a nude.
This is going to make me come off as a classic millennial fuck boy, but there have been times in my life where I’ve exchanged explicit texts/photos with people before meeting them. I’ve never sent an unwanted nude or sext, but there have been a few Tinder girls that have requested them before meeting up. Maybe I don’t look like I’m good in bed? That… that realization is a huge blow to my self-esteem, but alright. Moving on. The point is, sexting can be a useful tool to find out if you’re sexually compatible with someone before it’s too late. A pre-meeting nude just tells you if you find each other attractive, but a sext can do so much more.
If you’re sexting someone who keeps bringing up feet, or anal, or lying on white sheets while you dip your genitals in paint and turn them into a Jackson Pollock art piece, you can know what to expect in real life. And you can know whether to avoid that meet-up, if say, you’re not into foot play, or butt sex, or early-twentieth-century abstract expressionism. Sexts just say more.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good nude (from my girlfriend, I don’t want to have to block any more people on Snapchat) as much as the next man, but there’s nothing better than a saucy sext. .