Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You: Tom Cruise & Cookouts

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Given that I’ve only tried weed one time in my life, I honestly can’t say that there’s much I have in common with the great Willie Nelson. But there is one thing we agree on:

“On the road again,
Just can’t wait to get on the road again,
The life I love is making music with my friends,
And I can’t wait to get on the road again.”

Of course, I’d have to replace “making music” with “drinking wine and eating carbs,” but the sentiment is still the same, right? Which is exactly where I was this weekend – on the road again, as I will be for the next four consecutive weekends. Luckily, I have an affinity for room service and hotel beds, so I have no complaints, but there are definitely some people that have some things to be bitter about after their weekends.

This Lady

All of us have been distracted by our cell phone at a time that we should have been paying attention to what we were doing. We know that it’s rude to stare at our phone when we were at dinner with friends and dangerous to look at it while we are driving. But most of us probably haven’t given much thought to the dangers of walking and texting. This 67-year-old woman learned that lesson the hard way on a street in Plainfield, New Jersey:

No word on if the woman is okay (here’s hoping she is), but at least we all learned a lesson: best to be using your phone while sitting down. [via Distractify]

Tom Cruise

Oh, Tom. How I loved you in Top Gun. Then came Scientology and Katie Holmes and Mission Impossible and then suddenly I just wasn’t into you that anymore. And the same is apparently true for American film audiences.

Cruise’s version of The Mummy opened with anemic $32.2 million stateside this weekend after the film critics absolutely savaged it. This new version of the film couldn’t even meet the openings for the previous iterations: 1999’s The Mummy ($43.3 million), 2001’s The Mummy Returns ($68.1 million), 2002’s The Scorpion King ($36 million) or 2008’s The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor($40.5 million).

On the upside for Tom, film-goers in other countries aren’t as picky – the movie earned $141 million overseas, making it one of Cruise’s best-ever foreign openings. Which should probably also ease the pain a little bit for Universal, who spent $125 million on the production. [via Mashable]

These People at Disneyland

Honestly, theme parks are my worst nightmare. I know there are a lot of you that think Disneyland and Disney World are indeed the happiest places on earth, but I would rather do just about anything than spend a day with a few thousand people I don’t know under the hot sun waiting to go on a ride themed after a cartoon movie. All of which sounds horrible…but not as horrible as what happened to 17 people at Disneyland in Anaheim, CA on Friday night.

Around 9:45 p.m., a hazmat team reported to a scene in front of Sleeping Beauty’s castle, where a flock of geese had defecated on six children and eleven adults. Yes, I said a hazmat team, which leads me to believe that said-geese simply were having some tummy troubles after eating park food all day. We can all relate, right?

The Anaheim police, who apparently don’t have all that much to do, tweeted about the incident:

I don’t know, it sounds like they all had a really shitty time. I know, I know but I couldn’t resist. [via ABC7]

BBQers

It’s finally summer-like here in the Northeast, which means at last we can BBQ. But, like everything else that’s even remotely fun, scientists are now warning of a hidden danger when cooking your food on the grill – one the lurks in the way to clean your girl.

A new study published last week discusses the number of incidents of grill brush related injuries in the United States. The study asserts that there were approximately 1,698 injuries resulting from people ingesting pieces from wire grill brushes in the United States between 2002 and 2014. Even worse for us that is adults aged 19 to 40 make up 30% of the cases seen each year.

For most people, the injuries were relatively minor – a cut to the mouth for example. But it is possible for the bristle to make its way down to the neck, where it could migrate its way into soft tissies, or to the intestine, where it could actually puncture the organ. In order to avoid these injuries, the researchers advocate using brushes with alternative materials to wire, such as those with nylon bristles.

Honestly, bird poop at Disneyland and now grills trying to kill us? Is nothing safe anymore? [via CNN]

Kayla Hawthorne

If I’m honest, I was a pretty middle of the road high school student. Yes, I’m a relatively smart person (humble brag: I finished both my masters’ and my doctorate with 3.96 GPA), but back then, I just didn’t give a shit. But I had been the type of person who had cared about my grades, and worked hard for them, like Ms. Hawthorne, I’d be pretty pissed about what transpired that her Indianapolis high school.

Hawthorne, and about two dozen of her classmates, were not allowed to receive their diplomas at their graduation ceremony this past weekend after they were barred from the ceremony due to their participating in a senior prank. Now, to be fair, there were actually a series of “harmless pranks” such as scattering balloons, smearing canned food on door handles and tying them together, and posing a dummy made up to look like the principal in an office chair. No big deal, right? But then some other students (with Hawthorne claims she was not a part of) walls with chalk, pulled a fire alarm, sprayed a fire extinguisher across a basketball court, smeared food on floors and destroyed student records.

Despite not having participated in the destructive pranks, Hawthorne was turned away when she showed up at graduation on Thursday and told that she was receive her diploma after completing eight hours of a campus beautification project.

“I was very upset,” Kayla told People. “Although I was innocent, we still had to suffer the same consequences as the people who were culpable … I really think they have the ability to dig deeper and find out who did the vandalism.” She also stated that officials could have easily found out who did what by viewing video tape.

Listen, I get it, Indianapolis school district peeps: you do the crime, you do the time. But making kids miss graduation because of some balloons and a dummy? Is that really the best way to teach these kids a lesson? [Via People] .

Image via YouTube

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.

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