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Well, my friends, my sojourn to the West Coast is over and I’m back in Boston. I came back to a cracked windshield and temps in the 30s, but honestly, I’m just pretty happy to be sleeping in my own bed for a 10-day stretch. So as I’m curled up under a furry blanket watching the Eagles and Vikings battle it out to face my beloved Patriots in the Super Bowl, let’s chat about those who may have had a pretty crappy weekend.
Amazon Prime Users
I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve become fully dependent on Amazon Prime. I think of something I need, I open the Prime app, and it’s at my house in 48 hours. I’m so dependent that when I read that Amazon was jacking up the monthly membership fee, I just sort of shrugged and moved on.
Yes, that’s right, the company owned by the richest man in the world has decided that they need even more of your money. According to CNNMoney, “Amazon said Friday that the cost of a monthly Prime membership will go from $10.99 to $12.99, up 18%. The cost for students will now be $6.49, an uptick of $1.” Of course, only chumps pay monthly, and that remains true, because the yearly Prime subscription will remain the same: $99…or $49 for students, which is why that student email still comes in handy. [via CNNMoney]
Cristiano Ronaldo
Ronaldo’s primary money maker may be his soccer legs, but his face also brings in the bucks, which is why an incident at a game on Sunday probably freaked him out.
On Sunday during a match against Deportivo, the Real Madrid striker took a cleat to the face when going in for a header and scoring. As he left the field, Ronaldo used a team medic’s phone to check out the cut near his eye. That being said, the goal was pretty great.
AND ANOTHER!!!!@Cristiano takes one for the team, but gets a second goal for his efforts. pic.twitter.com/fQb9Bd6YAy
— beIN SPORTS USA (@beINSPORTSUSA) January 21, 2018
[via TMZ]
Paul Gleit
It’s hard out there for a pimp, but what if you are a rich businessman from Manhattan? Apparently, it’s damn hard. In fact, things were so difficult for Mr. Gleit that he agreed to pay $35,000 to matchmaker to find a lady, and of course, he got more than he bargained for.
Paul Gleit signed up with D.C. matchmaker Taylor Francois-Bodine in May and agreed to pay $35,000 in installments for two years worth of introductions. According to the New York Post, Francois-Bodine “says she helps the lovelorn “accelerate” their hunt for romance with her “luxury experience” and claims her clientele includes “senators, congress people, ambassadors, well-known sports figures, industry leaders, CEOs and Fortune 500 executives.”” Which all sounds good – unless you are Mr. Gleit, who was not charged the aforementioned $35,000; instead, between May and October, he shelled out $426,000, for six dates (which works out to about $71,000 per date). So of course, Gleit is now suing Francois-Bodine in federal court to get his money back. No word on if any of his six dates lead to a love connection, but I’m guessing the lawsuit means no? [via New York Post]
This Girl
It’s common knowledge that Siri is a bitch, right? I mean, you ask her stuff and half the time she pretends not to understand what you’re asking even though she’s supposed to be super intelligent. So obviously that backstabber just likes screwing with us, and now we have concrete evidence at the cost of one poor girl’s dignity.
The girl, who we will call Ceci, was fucking around with her iPhone and asked Siri if the boy she liked would ever text her. We’ll let Ceci’s twitter explain what happened next:
I JUST ASKED SIRI IF A CERTAIN BOY WOULD EVER TEXT ME AND SHE SENT A TEXT SAYING WILL YOU EVER TEXT ME TO HIM. My funeral will be held at 8pm this Thursday.
— Ceci ✮ (@CeciMula) January 17, 2018
Clearly, Siri is the Regina George of technology. She tells you she’s your friend to your face and then she goes and makes out with Aaron Samuels does shit like this. And the worst part? Her getting hit by a bus will cost you a ton of money. [via Mashable]
Jacksonville Jaguars
You didn’t really think you could beat the GOAT? Oh, you did? That’s so sweet. #striveforsix.
Image via Jeff Bukowski / Shutterstock.com
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
It really is amazing how great the Patriots’ offense can be when the refs intervene.
That was helmet to helmet on Gronk and deserved to be called, but no way was that pass interference right before halftime.
That call on Gronk was 100%. Everything else was garbage.
You can’t be serious right now. None of those calls were controversial. Most of the yards were on 2 blatant PI calls too. The other 7 penalties were mostly on the Jags offense including: illegal shift, false start and delay of game which are simply inexcusable and emit lack of discipline. Gtfo with these ref conspiracy theories. The Jags blew it and the Pats took advantage as always.
Except those blatant PI calls were a big deal and changed the outcome of the game. Brady literally chucked the ball as far as he could and waited for the refs to give him a 30+ yard completion. I’d argue that it changed the outcome of the game. Don’t forget blowing the play dead on the fumble, as I mentioned below. Also, all the non-calls on the Patriots were just as bad.
If it happens once or twice, it’s a coincidence. But it’s getting ridiculous how systematically all calls and non-calls in close games are going the Patriots’ way.
Brady chucked the ball down field a few time because he knows that the Jags will PI. It’s part of why he’s as great as he is. You can’t shield a player out of bounds and not let him go for the ball. The other was was extremely obvious as well. And also on the fumble, the ball did come out before he was down but he pinned it against his leg and had possession when he was on the ground. It really should’ve been the pats ball.
But regardless of the outcome in the Super Bowl, this same narrative is going to occur. Might as well write the headlines right now. Pats could win with 10 penalties to 1 on the Eagles and everyone would still cry foul. Pun intended.
Brady chucked the ball down field a few time because he knows that *he will get the call.
There, fixed it.
Exactly, the Jags had the least penalized secondary all year, but that all changes when playing against Brady.
Ok – this didn’t reply to the right comment and now it makes it seem as though I’m agreeing with DJ, which is certainly not the case. Birds by 90.
If that happens in the SB, I definitely wouldn’t cry foul. Like I said, I don’t have a dog in this fight (although thanks to Brady, the Niners may have gotten a franchise QB in Jimmy G), I just want a fairly officiated game.
Next year JimmyG beats Brady in the super bowl, dethroning the goat. Go ahead and downvote
just came here to say while you all were busy dumping on big dick nick foles, he was busy leading us to the promised land
Amazon Prime costing $3 more a month ruining your weekend means you have a sad sad life.
I was honestly very doubtful of people saying that the refs favor the Patriots. After yesterday’s game, I’m a believer. I don’t care how disciplined of a team you have, there’s no way you can go a whole game with only one penalty and have that penalty be on special teams. There were so many penalties on the Patriots that were never called – the blatant hold on that final third down run, the numerous times the Jaguars’ receivers were tackled before they got the ball without any PI calls, the list goes on and on. Fuck the NFL and fuck the Patriots.
I’m a Niners fan so I don’t have a dog in this fight, but man, if the ratings for the Super Bowl will be down, it won’t be due to all the off the field politics in the NFL. It’ll be due to the league clearly favoring one team over another and ruining the sport for everyone.
Uhhhhh, I think the ratings will be juuuuuuust fine.
Great Instagram posts this weekend, Will. Always shocked it’s not some Instagram photographer when I realize it’s your post. Keep up the good work
I love how wholesome and supportive this random comment is.
Don’t encourage his behavior
That’s why I said “if”
Guys, the NFL and the Bildaberg Group know that there would be no point in letting a team from Florida have the potential to win a nice shiny sliver trophy because it’s going to be under the ocean in like 10 years and no one wants a rusted trophy/legacy so they have a vested interest in keeping all the trophies from the past 15 years up in one area that isn’t going to be sunk underwater and has the best Uggs boots advertiser in the world who just happens to throw a cylindrical ball at people who run past a single white line into a colored box good lol
There was an extremely obvious block in the back that wasn’t called, other than that it seemed fine from an impartial fan. I also think the modern rules are ridiculously WR-favored so take my opinion lightly. If anything I hope ratings decline because replaying everything makes the games really hard to watch, the obsession with making sure every call is 100% validated by congressional hearing really kills the flow of the game. Easy solution too, play clock starts as soon as the last play ends, calls on field stand, only reviewed when challenged, each team gets three challenges.
If the refs are for my Pats why didn’t they overturn that fumble/strip when he was so clearly down before he lost the ball???????
He wasn’t down. The ball was clearly jarred loose before he went down. Even the CBS commentators said it was clearly a fumble. If anything, the refs shouldn’t have blown that play dead and let Jack run the ball back.
It might have turned into a strip-six if the refs didn’t blow the play dead wrongly. Overturning the fumble would have been as overt as the refs referring to Tom Brady as “our favorite.”
Jarred loose from his hold but he had possession against his leg when his back hit the dirt.
Jarred loose from his hold usually means that he no longer has possession. The ruling on what makes up a possession is already dubious in the NFL, especially against the Patriots (see the game vs. Steelers in week 15), but if this play wasn’t ruled a fumble, all hell would break loose on social media.
I keep forgetting Jenna is a Pats fan. That being said, Brady has to retire after this one right?
Seriously. Football isn’t fun when Alabama and the Pats win it every year…
Roll tide
Football also isn’t fun when games (especially college now) last 5 hours. Way too much reviewing, let the boys play.