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It was a beautiful weekend here in Massachusetts. The weather was lovely, the Red Sox won three in a row for the first time in what feels like forever, and I actually got enough studying done during the week at the office while my boss was on vacation that I got to spend a few hours not staring at a textbook. While I revel in my pathetically scarce hours of free time, let me reflect on a few people that a worse weekend than me (and you).
Scott Disick
In my opinion, there are few worse things than having to attend a wedding alone. Sure, there is always the possibility that one of the (few) other single people there are good looking enough to hook up with, but odds are, you will be one of the lone singletons in an endless sea of slow-dancing couples. Everyone’s favorite self-appointed Lord, Scott Disick, seems to have discovered that this weekend when he posted this Instagram from the wedding of his best friend JJ Corsini on Friday:
Awwwww, is the Lord regretting his breakup with Kourtney Kardashian? Probably should have thought about that before you started man-whoring it up all over the globe, asshole. [via US Weekly]
Bethe Correia
I wouldn’t get into a ring with Ronda Rousey for all of the handbags in Nordstrom. Not only did Bethe Correia do so voluntarily on Saturday night at UFC 190, she did so after pissing Rousey off by making thinly veiled comments about Rousey’s father’s suicide. Because poking a bear that took out her last opponent in FOURTEEN seconds is a good idea, right? It only took a little more than double that for Correia – thirty-four seconds to be exact. Rousey used a series of right and left strikes to take out Correia in the first round of the fight in Rio De Janeiro to improve to a 12-0 record. Rousey said after the (very-short) bout, “I hope that nobody really brings up my family anymore when it comes to fights. I hope this is the last time.” If your opponents have any brains, it definitely should be. [via MSN]
Eliza Dushku
Most people remember Eliza Dushku as the tough-but-hot cheerleader Missy in the original “Bring It On.” If you’ve forgotten, let me refresh your memory:
Anyway, Dushku has been living in a Pennsylvania hotel room for over two months while filming a movie when she was forced to move on Friday for perhaps the worst of reasons — One Direction. The boy-banders were going to be in town performing Sunday night and apparently needed the entire floor of the hotel, including Dushku’s room. Dushku referenced the name of the band’s newest single in her Instagram post about the situation:
As someone who reached gold hotel status by March this year, I feel Dushku’s pain — packing and unpacking is a total bitch. But maybe you can get Harry’s number for me? [via Gossip Cop]
Dennis Rodman
There are a lot of places that I would go to wasted. The bar, a sporting event, a house party, the office, most funerals. But the car wash isn’t really high on my list. But apparently, Dennis Rodman likes to knock a few back and take his whip to get spiffed up. Rodman showed up a car wash in Costa Mesa, CA on Sunday afternoon reeking of alcohol and acting weird, although I’m not entirely sure what qualifies as weird for Rodman. According to TMZ, they were told that The Worm “walked up to a man and put his hand on his shoulder and said, ‘Hey white guy’ and then ‘walked up to several girls, telling them they were hot and they should check out his boat in Newport.’” Peeps were concerned that Rodman would get behind the wheel once his car was clean, so they called local police. Since the police didn’t actually see the former all-Star driving the car, they couldn’t arrest him for DUI, but they did tell Rodman that he could not drive the vehicle. Some random lady then offered to drive Dennis home, and he accepted. You have to feel sort of bad for Rodman that he didn’t have anywhere else to go besides the car wash… but at least his new chauffeur will have one hell of a story to tell her friends. [via TMZ]
An Unnamed English Man
I imagine that being a 911 operator is not an easy job. Not only do people call about actual crimes, they call about really, really stupid things, and no matter what, you have to talk to them. That was the case in West Yorkshire, England recently when a man called to report a crime. The law-breaking? His girlfriend had let her cat eat his bacon. Listen to the amazing audio here:
Now, we could mock this guy for A.) wanting to have his girlfriend arrested for giving away this bacon to a cat, B.) wanting to have the cat arrested, or C.) both of the above. But luckily for him, his name was not mentioned when the West Yorkshire police realized the call to warn people against calling the emergency line for non-critical reasons. Plus… this is bacon we are talking about, people. And while the emergency operator calmly advised the caller that “a cat eating bacon is not a criminal offence,” I think we can all agree that it should be. And until it is, no bacon is safe. [via Daily Mail] .
Image via YouTube
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
Got home last night to have “the talk” with the wife. She asked for a divorce. Pretty sure that beats everything on this list. Prayers would be appreciated.
That bitch…
I can’t really say that. Early on in our marriage, I was not the husband that she deserved. She has struggled with moving beyond that. The onus is on me. I am not going to finger point and place blame. I will own my baggage and fall on the sword.
Jesus, hang tough dude
Thank you.
Sorry, buddy! Hang in there!
Thank you. I’m moving to West Hartford, CT next month and I think that’s why she finally decided to move on.
Hey man I have been there. We were together for 10 years. But, engaged at 25, married at 26, divorced at 27. It took me about a year and a half to get to the point were we both want the best for one another.
She is daring a guy who takes care of her and makes her happy.
We will always love one another, and miss one another but it just wasn’t working for us. I recently started dating again and found someone who has made me laugh again.
I throw all this out there to just say keep your head up. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
“When you are going through hell, keep going”.
– Winston Churchill
Thank you. We were married shortly after my 25th birthday. We have two beautiful kids together and that’s the hardest part. I was ready to take her to court and destroy her from the foundation up in order to have custody. But then I realized, I don’t want our childrenr reading about their mother in the newspapera few years down the road. Plus, they have a support system here that I can’t give them. They have her, my parents, a good church and school friends. I can’t destroy that system after destroying her reputation. My favorite all time tv character is JR Ewing, but I couldn’t bring myself to be a jerk like him. I know what I did was wrong and wasn’t good for our marriage. I’ve been toxic at times. I’ve been narcissistic at time, as well as manipulative. Not the way a husband should be. She’s not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but ii don’t want my kids growing up to think she’s a nut job. The TFM and PGP community has given me has been so wonderful over the years. I’m not going to stop hanging around. I’m still going to promot the #blackballstevehsolt movement and I’m still going to try to be a voice of reason. I will fail at times and I’m OK with that.
I just read this and it looks like a 4th grader wrote it. If I’m going to comment, I owe you guys and gals better than this. My apologies. I hate the new Andriod update.
I’ll buy you a drink next time I’m in CT.
You’re too kind. Thank you. I just followed you on Twitter.
Thanks!!
Bounce back hard from it bro. You can make it.
Thank you, brother.The Army has invested a lot of money to teach me how to survive in various scenarios and I’m sure I’ll survive this one.
I liked you old profile picture much better. The one with the two nice apple-bottoms, as opposed to the shit Patriots garbage picture.
I would pay to have a weekend as eventful as Rodman’s