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A few weeks ago I touched on which foods you should avoid on a first date. Now that you know what to order I’ve decided to go into a little more detail on how I try to handle first dates. I’ve tried to cover all the points I think are up for debate when going on a first date, aside obviously from what you’re picking off the menu.
Text or Call?
I always text instead of call. You can call me millennial garbage and less of a man, but that’s just my style of choice. My reasons for this are it’s more convenient for both parties. You have no clue what she’s doing at the time, which could lead to you getting her voicemail. Just thinking about getting someone’s voicemail that you’re trying to ask out for the first time is giving me anxiety.
Only psychopaths leave voicemails, and if you don’t leave one she’ll be wondering who the hell is calling her…It’s a lose-lose situation. Sending a text is way less invasive to me. It gives her time to think of how she wants to respond and doesn’t put her on the spot like a phone call would. Also, it’s the 21st century and I despise talking on the phone. For future reference, can you text 911 or does that have to be a phone call?
Pick Her Up or Meet Her There?
Most guys think on the first date they should be the one making all the plans because girls hate a guy who can’t make decisions, right? I agree with that in almost everything except picking her up for the first date. I always tell the girl, “I’d be more than happy to pick you up or we can meet there? It’s up to you.” The reason I do this is I can understand a girl not wanting some rando they had a drunken conversation with to know where they live.
You could be Christian Bale from American Psycho for all she knows at this point in time. This will help you avoid the awkward rejection of her telling you, “No, let’s just meet at the restaurant.” You’ve just started the date with a semi-awkwardness there, which is not the kind of tone you want to set. If you do pick her up, and I can’t stress this enough, open the car door for her.
I went on a date with a girl one time who told me she’s never had a guy open the car door for her which shocked me. Ladies, on behalf of all men who were raised right, I’d like to sincerely apologize if you fall into the same category she does.
Restaurant Choice
If you’re worried about how much money you’re going to be spending on the first date, you probably shouldn’t be dating IMO. You don’t have to take her to a 5 star restaurant, but you shouldn’t be taking her to the local dive bar you and your buds frequent to crush 50 cent wings at either.
Everyone has their go-to restaurants and mine here in Nashville is Holland House (They have the best Old Fashioned I’ve ever had). I typically spend around $70 on dates there, which I don’t think is excessive. Giving off the impression that you’re trying to pinch pennies on the first date is normally not going to get you a second one.
First Date Conversation
Conversation typically comes pretty naturally for me, but my rule for first dates is to keep the conversation positive. This girl sacrificed her night for you and I guarantee you she doesn’t want to hear you bitch and complain about your miserable life for two hours.
I also leave out the drama filled parts of life. For example, if she asks about family I do a quick scan of family members and sure as hell don’t go down the deep dark hole of family drama. Nobody needs that on a first date.
If you think you’re talking too much and rambling then you probably are. Definitely try to keep asking her questions because if we’re being honest you’re probably a boring sack of shit, and girls love to talk about themselves.
That’s typically how I try to handle myself on a first date. I almost always do dinner and try to mix it up from then on for future dates. Worry about making a good first impression before going overboard with an overly creative and aggressive ideas for a first date.
If it’s someone you genuinely want to impress, I would suggest dinner over drinks to separate yourself from the pack. Girls get asked to drinks all the time so try to make yourself stand out by going the extra mile.
Sidebar: Minor League baseball games are always a great option for a 2nd or 3rd date if this advice gets you to that point..
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I appreciate the car thing. If I don’t know someone well I always just ask to meet them. It’s true. Some men are crazy. $70 is excessive for a first date. I like drinks on a first date. I’ve found that if guys spend a lot of money on me, they feel like I owe them something. I hate that feeling. I don’t feel bad if you spend 30 bucks on drinks. But a sit down dinner is better for a 2nd or 3rd date, IMO.
$70 on something that may not even materialize into something? That’s not a sound financial decision.
$50-$60 limit. Shows you’re willing to spend, but not trying to show off. Everyone knows we’re on a budget here, it’s no secret. At least she’ll know you’re financially responsible.
That’s on par with investing your 401k in penny stocks. If you’re me, it’s like going to Vegas and putting your 401k all on red
I personally like anything on/in the water.
I really like happy hour/early drinks. That way if it’s going well you can decide to get dinner together, and if it’s not, it’s an easy out because you both only committed to drinks.
Also, if you haven’t been, you need to try drinks at Union Common.
I leave entertaining voicemails. Catches them off guard knowing you’re not a basic scrub.
I’m notorious for spending too much on the first date. I hate using the same first date restaurant because I have a phobia of a waitress telling my date that she’s the 3rd girl this month.
If you spend that much money on a first date, I doubt you get many seconds.
No one wants to go to a Minor League
Baseball game.
Speak for yourself. Dollar beer and hotdog nights are my jam.
You’ve obviously never been to a Nashville Sounds game.
Damn! You probably don’t even scoff at $70 on a first date, huh?