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After living through college and your first few years of underpaid, full-time employment, you’re likely all familiar with boxed wine. From slapping the bag at frat parties to winding down after work with wine that costs less than the equivalent of $5 a bottle, boxed wine has been there for us through thick and thin. On one hand, having a near-constant stream of inexpensive vino available at all times is a huge plus. On the other, it’s also fairly easily to accidentally drink yourself into an alcoholic stupor as you have no idea how much you’re actually consuming.
The danger of boxed wine is now about to multiplied by a thousand, because someone at Fireball had the amazing, yet equally horrifying, idea to start boxing Fireball and selling it to the general public. While great for parties and beer pong, the thought of someone purchasing this for everyday consumption is probably the worst idea I could possible imagine – especially since the “Firebox” contains 3.5 liters of whiskey.
Although I would call myself a creative individual, I can imagine absolutely no scenario in which purchasing a box of Fireball could possibly lead to anything good. What I can imagine are bouts of destruction, broken relationships, and projectile vomiting cinnamon-flavored liquid all over your new living room carpet. This is a nice try, Fireball, but for the sake of my personal well-being, as well as the well-being of everyone else I come into contact with, this one’s going to have to be a no for me. .