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I didn’t want to have to do this. I’ve never been a person who asks that annoying, age-old question: “Has technology gone too far?”
FaceTime is rarely maligned on the Internet because it’s a modern technological marvel. Outside of that open facing camera that can catch you off guard and make you realize you aren’t as good looking as you once thought, there really isn’t anything to complain about with the iPhone feature. Twenty years ago, the idea of FaceTime was rooted in science fiction.
Then, sometime in the mid-aughts, Skype came along. I had a long distance girlfriend my freshman year of college for like two months and we would have Skype dates once or twice a week. I got sick and tired of looking at private parts via video chat when there was an entire campus full of actual, real live human girls at my disposal, so as you might have guessed we broke things off before it got really serious. My mastubatory habits aside, Skype really paved the way for FaceTime.
Apple was able to develop video chat on cell phones just as Skype began falling by the wayside and here we are. I love that in 2018 I can feel like I’m in the same room with someone who is in actuality 2,000 miles away, but society is taking too many liberties these days with when and where they choose to use this shit.
I sat at a winery in Northern Michigan last Saturday sipping a very fine Pinot Gris and taking in the views that the patio had to offer. Overlooking row upon row of vineyard grapes, I relished the opportunity I was given in that moment to be outside of the city looking at trees, grass, and grapes. Three tables over from me, a portly gentleman and his wife sat down and ordered a bottle of Merlot.
Not one of my favorite wines in the world, but I thought “Hey, maybe this vineyard is known for Merlot and I just don’t know it.” I stopped paying attention to them so that I could find my waiter and order a cheese board for our table when out of nowhere I heard that all too familiar hollow beeping noise that can only mean one thing – that couple with a penchant for Merlot was FaceTiming at a fucking vineyard.
Let me be clear – I have no problem with someone getting a couple of ‘grams off or Snapchatting themselves drinking at a winery. After all, how are you supposed to let your friends know that you’re better off financially and socially than them if you’re not documenting your trip to wineries from time to time? But we were on a relatively quiet patio setting. People weren’t whispering but it’s not like there was a DJ playing Tiesto in the corner of the deck while we ordered bottles of Semillon and Grenache.
This was a quaint setting with reserved people, and this couple was screaming to someone on the other end of a Facetime call about how fucking phenomenal the merlot they were drinking was. They talked to the woman on the other end for twenty minutes while patrons side-eyed them from every corner of the joint.
Just a few weeks ago, I was in Chicago and watched a man dining alone in an Italian restaurant eat an entire meal while on FaceTime with someone. The guy had eggplant parmesan, two glasses of the house red, and a few bread rolls. That’s a solid 30 or 40-minute meal we’re talking about, and he pretended like it was a totally normal thing to be Facetiming while eating at there.
Inside the privacy of your own home is where FaceTime was meant to be used. If you’re at a family gathering and one of the cousins or aunts couldn’t make it, Facetime is there for you. It’s an iPhone feature that is meant for intimate scenes, not at public restaurants or wineries where anyone within twenty feet of you can hear your conversation.
Take a look at this ad from Apple focused entirely on Facetime. In the ad, every single shot is of people in private settings talking to someone else. No one is at a bar casually drinking a beer and Facetiming or eating pasta at a restaurant. Apple doesn’t want you doing it and neither do I.
Dial it back a few notches. It’s not something that should replace texting or the conventional phone call. It’s a special treat for when you’re hungover in bed and want to call a buddy across the country about the swamp monster you bagged at the bar last night. It’s a tool to be used to call your mother on her birthday or to wish a friend in Europe a Merry Christmas. Sometimes it baffles me what people will do in public settings. We’re devolving, and FaceTiming out in the wild is part of the problem. .
Image via YouTube
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
JD is quickly becoming Johnny “Good Take” Duda and it’s quite the glow up
Also love when people talk with speaker phone on in public. We don’t want to hear your conversations and you’re disturbing the peace. I think that’s actually a crime or something.
I agree, it’s more obnoxious than people playing music from their phone without headphones on public transportation
Nothing will beat the annoyance of someone have a full conversation via the the walkie talkie feature Sprint phones used to have in the mid-2000s.
ugh. flashbacks of my dad’s voice blasting from the walkie talkie feature phone as I made out with my HS boyfriend. I got off the family phone plan when I turned 18 just to get away from those sprint phones
I want to send this take to my mom so badly. She ALWAYS wants to facetime instead of calling or texting, which is fine when I’m at home but out in public it’s just weird. Last time I visited she sent me on a grocery run and when I texted to clarify what kind of pasta she wanted, I just got an incoming facetime request as a response.
People walk around New York with selfie stick strapped to their chests and FaceTiming people. I have a deep hate for those people.
Add it to the list folks
Straight to gitmo
Duda2020
I’m not prepared to downvote you for this just yet but, have you thought this take through? I mean really thought it through?
Prob gonna down vote me but there can be exceptions. My bestfriend’s recently widowed mother facetimes her constantly and she answers as often as possibl. Its comforting to her mom to see her face / talk when shes lonely. My boyfriend is a Marine and currently on a big ass boat in the ocean somewhere and whenever or wherever I am when he facetimes me, I answer. Maybe I’m a shit person but I’m gonna keep doing it given the circumstances.
Just use headphones, then it is no different than taking a call in public.
while i generally agree facetiming while my wife was pregnant probably saved our marriage when i could show which type of particular fudge cake she wanted from the grocery store.
Wow, finally a Duda take I can get behind