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It started out innocently enough. Pre-wedding, my friend who was a bridesmaid agreed to be a good friend and go with her friend, the bride, to a get together at a coworker’s house to see some cleaning products from a company she had never heard of. Pegged as a party, there were snacks, wine, and lots of giveaways throughout the evening. A couple hours later my friend arrived home to her apartment with a goodie bag of freebies in tow and a date locked in for her own upcoming Facebook party to attempt to swindle other friends into purchasing the products from the comfort of their couches. In turn, an “attendee” of this internet soiree booked a real-life party and the swirling vortex of over-priced goods gathered speed and began encompassing everyone I know.
With an invite remaining in my inbox for a party to be held next week, this brings my total up to six since May. Yes, there has been a party a month since before Memorial Day. It is ridiculous and out of control and I want off the ride.
To answer the obvious questions, yes, the products work and are great for the environment. They are also triple the cost of your standard cleaning supplies. But they last sooo long it’s worth it, right?!? The distributor is very engaging and educational and overall does a really good job of promoting her products. So well in fact that my initial friend has drank enough of this company’s kool-aid that she told us after party #1 that her dream is to have us all in a little cleaning cult using and selling this paraphernalia. Her literal words, people. It honestly blows my mind that as smart as these ladies are, they are so willingly and so enthusiastically perpetuating this pyramid scheme without a second thought. Scary stuff.
Why don’t I just quit going to these events and cut the cord? Because I don’t want to be the one asshole of the group who dips out and prevents Tina from reaching that next level of free gifts she gets for selling x amount as the party host. Everyone else got the mop and if I buy $20 more, she can have it too! I do not want the burden of being that bitch. The cost of being a good friend, amirite?
The only light I see at the end of this tunnel is that this upcoming party is full circle on the girls who were at the original party. They have all taken a turn receiving boxes of free shit after we’ve watched the same presentation in a different living room on another Tuesday night. Only myself and one other holdout have not hosted a party, and we have repeatedly mentioned that we refuse to do so. But at least the consistent booze and food has been a small comfort in this ongoing saga.
Sadly, even after next week’s shindig, a date has already been booked for a repeat offender party in January. Yep, this epidemic has reached 2019 and I am putting my foot down. I like a clean home/apartment as much as the next person, but we have crossed the line of acceptability and I’m getting out while I can. Don’t try and tell me you need my help getting another pile of free junk, Mallory! Snacks and socializing be damned, I’ll see you clean freaks on the flipside. .