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That jukebox isn’t going to play “The Power of Love” by Huey Lewis and the News on its own. Pick yourself up by your suspenders, toss on your tortoise glasses, slide into those bit loafers, and make your way down to the local watering hole because it’s all but official – Zima is coming back.
Yes, Zima. The alcoholic beverage your parents were taking down between games of badminton during the 1990s is poised for a comeback if this news from MillerCoors means anything. I’ve never wanted to get drunk with a sweater tied around my shoulders more than I did upon hearing this news. The only thing that could’ve possibly made it better was if I had read it in the print version of The Wall Street Journal rather than online, but life can’t all be tucked in oversized polos and pleated khakis.
Per Ad Age:
Zima could be coming back zoon. MillerCoors is poised to reintroduce the 1990s-era clear malt beverage that was once advertised as “zomething different.”
Beer Business Daily on Thursday reported that the brand is already in distributor warehouses and will “allegedly be offered for a limited time only.” A MillerCoors spokesman told Ad Age that “more news [is] coming soon” and that “if you’re one of the zillion fans who have missed Zima, the answer should be clear.”
Need a refresher? Here, take this 1994 Zima commercial and let your mind run with it.
Yes, this guy is wearing a white suit. Yes, he did compliment a woman’s arms at a bar. And yes, he did ask, “What’s your zign?” while replacing every word that began with an “s” with a “z.” Because that’s what Zima does to a man – it turns him into a lady killer who thinks to himself before leaving the house, “This blazer doesn’t need a button down shirt under it.”
Or maybe you’re more of the douchebag sort of yuppie. That’s fine – some say that having a certain amount of douche in your personality is a good thing. Feel like cooking up some fish on a rooftop while slamming a couple cans of Zima? That’s on the table too.
Even in 1994 you could hear someone asking “Are those free-range burgers?” because being yuppie scum is timeless, which the people at MillerCoors are obviously well aware of.
Drive zafely, Miata owners. At up to 5.4% alcohol by volume, don’t be afraid to do zomething different. .
[via Ad Age]
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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Zimas coming back. The Cowboys have a good shot to make it to the Super Bowl. We have a womanizing President in the White House. What is this?? 1996 again?
We’re headed towards a fire content Friday y’all. Buckle up.
Zima was my first alcoholic beverage at the tender young age of 6. I thought it was just water in a glass bottle, needless to say when my mom and aunt strolled in and saw me at the kids table at thanksgiving with that all hell broke loose.
It was the first alcoholic beverage that I drank all 12 ounces of. Had sips of Budweisers and champagne leading up to that moment, but it was in my friend’s basement where I drank a Zima that I had stolen from my parents.
They’re going to clean up on this just with people like us nostalgically buying them. I wonder when it will be available and if it will be marketed as a premium product or more of a college swill type thing.
Going long on Molson Coors stock asap
How can no one mention the beefcake with the massive dead fish (twice the size of that grill) in second 2 of the video? He shows up again at 4-5 seconds. Who invited him? Did he know the grill was going to be so small? Pretty sure he mumbled, “fuck you kevin…..”
Then they pour beer in the fish’s mouth while it grills
Sorry, did I say beer? I meant the zoliest of all drinkz, zima
Hard to say no to a beverage that says “who cares” when asked if meat is free range.
The Crystal Pepsi of booze. Can’t wait!
I have a huge Zima poster I bought a few years ago. That baby is making a comeback
Make sure you stock up on jolly ranchers
I was too young to enjoy this the first time around. Will not miss it this time