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It’s a tale as old as time. Person meets person, person enjoys company of person and forms a friendship, one of the persons moves away. “I’ll come visit as soon as I can.” You both know it is a challenge, not because you genuinely don’t want to but between everyone getting married, time, money and scheduling, it’s not feasible to up and travel across the country.
Lately, I’ve been trying to reconnect with a lot of people that have been influential in my life. Many have moved to lands far away. There are only so many hours in the day and it’s easy for people to fall by the wayside if you don’t see them. This doesn’t mean you should ever forget your friends but often, “out of sight, out of mind” can make even the most stalwart friend not keep in contact as well as you’d like.
Unlike the days of yore where most people were born somewhere, raised there, and then raised their own kids in that same place, people are moving all over in record numbers. It’s one of the shittiest parts of growing up. Sadly, there aren’t enough jobs/desire/whatever reason to all find a nice suburban neighborhood with a bar you can all meet in.
Recently, I noticed a good friend of mine was in the process of moving out of the toilet bowl that is Columbia, Missouri (his words not mine) to Boise for his girlfriend’s job as a veterinarian. I’m not a huge fan of texting as means to catch up, but I recognize some people hate talking on the phone. Other people will talk until you both run out of battery. We shot a few texts back and forth when he proposed to chat on Skype one night when his girlfriend was working at the clinic.
“What a great idea,” I thought.
So my buddy, Brandon, gave me a call on Skype. We’ve been family friends and grew up in the same town, although he’s two years younger. In fact, I used to drive him to school as a senior since he lived so close. He’s one of those people you can not talk to for years but seem like it’s only been a few weeks.
He then asked me, “is it cool if I pour myself a drink?” Well fuck yeah, I did so myself and had this grand realization: Why don’t we do this more? While he may live thousands of miles away in a different time zone, why not use this wonderful technology to “go to the bar” together.
We ended up bullshitting for almost four hours, which honestly flew by. I ended up drinking about 4 Kentucky Bourbon Stouts, which sucked the next day, but the experience was excellent. Maybe many of you already do this, but for those who don’t and have friends that live far away, this is a fantastic way to catch up with people you miss in the comfort of your own home.
Over the years, I’ve gotten DMs and questions from people on how to make friends as an adult. A while ago I wrote about never forgetting your friends, so I guess I am somewhat an authority on the topic. Some people were lonely in a new place, others were looking to broaden their friend horizon. I realized many years ago that everyone is in the same boat with this and the one tried and true way to keep and maintain friends is to be the one to reach out.
Think about it: If someone reaches out to you, it makes you feel good and like you have a connection. While the phone does ring both ways, not everyone is inclined to do so because they are afraid of not reciprocating what they thought was a friendship. While this fear may be reasonable, if you never put yourself out there, you’ll never know.
Maybe I should be handing out Werther’s Originals as I write this, but I feel that the human interaction in life has taken a backseat to good ol’ fashioned talking. The “college house party in the attic passing around a doobie” kind of bullshitting and talking. Social media has taken over the social aspect of life. So many people crave interaction but don’t know how or lack the confidence to actually create and maintain relationships.
Back in the day, people used to write letters. We now have this wonderful technology that streams in real time, with voice and video, where we can connect to anyone at any hour with an internet connection. Even if you move somewhere new and are missing old friends, fire up Skype or call the old fashioned way and have a catch-up session with an old friend. I can promise you’ll never regret it, especially if you pour yourself a drink..
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Madoff
I specialize in damage control, being the drunkest at any and all functions and social assassination. Always appreciate a strong gif game. Follow me on Twitter. Sometimes I put up cool stuff about golfing at the local dirt tracks.
@BLMInvestment
There’s an app call Houseparty that is essentially group Facetime. My friends and I, who all live in different parts of the country, talk and drink together on Houseparty most Sunday afternoons.
Other than the fact that I didn’t know that anyone younger than 60 still uses Skype, fantastic piece as always. Never thought of it this way. This weekend, one of my childhood friends is graduating law school on the other side of the country. I’ll have to see if he has some free time to take shots of Facetime.
My best friend and I see each other maybe twice a year when we go home for holidays, but we talk on the phone for at least half an hour a week, and odds are one of us has a drink in hand. Never thought of Skyping before. Good work, man.
FaceTime.
Here lately I’ve felt that the friendships with my college friends has been dwindling since we all live in different states. But I really like the idea here to get us all together on Skype to bullshit like the old days. Solid article as always Madoff.
We did this during a blizzard a couple years ago because everyone wanted to drink but we couldn’t get to each other. So much fun.
FaceTime drinks kept me alive while I was abroad. Miss me with that Skype bs tho, get an iPhone
100% trying this.
Nothing like a “conference call party” Skype the boys in a different city, blast music, get shitfaced. I don’t even notice I’m alone in my apartment. As always, on point article.
Thank you fellow project manager!
My girlfriends are all spread out across the country, and since FaceTime only supports a conversation between two, we coordinate Skype sessions once every couple of months or so. We’ve been doing this for a few years now I’d say and it’s usually held on a Friday night avec a few glasses of vino. We don’t have to get dressed up and go out, we’re all in sweats in the comfort of our own homes. It’s glorious.