According to InTouch Weekly, Lindsay Lohan has some splainin’ to do. In Touch has reportedly obtained not just a list, but THE list of LiLo, and it is more star-studded than the front row of the Academy Awards. So star-studded,…Read More »
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Men’s Wearhouse Buys Jos. A Bank, Creating Your Dad’s Favorite New Company
Today’s top story in boring, adult, grown-up working news, Men’s Wearhouse, Inc. ($MW) has agreed to buy Jos. A. Bank Clothiers Inc. (JOSB) for $1.8 Billion in Cash, ending a five-month-long struggle between the two retailers for corporate dominance and…Read More »
Christian Radio Host Says “Frozen” Is Dirty, Lesbian Propaganda For Satan
Good Lord, where do I even begin with this one? Kevin Swanson, the host of “Generations Radio,” a Christian themed, right wing radio show broadcast out of God knows where, took to his radio show to attack Disney’s universally beloved…Read More »
This Online “Percent” Calculator Will Show You How Poor You Really Are
I’ll never forget the day I got my first paycheck. No, I’m not talking about the couple hundred bucks I got cleaning up rich assholes’ half-eaten chicken carcasses when I was 16. I’m talking about the first big check I…Read More »
Zach Galifianakis Goes One-On-One With President Obama On Obamacare
In his latest bid to get young people to sign up for Obamacare, President Barack Obama appeared on Zach Galifianakis’ Funny or Die show, “Between Two Ferns.” The two roast each other pretty good. They cover every topic from healthcare,…Read More »
Game Of Thrones Drops Mixtape Featuring Big Boi, Common, Wale And More
HBO got 10 rappers together for a hip-hop and reggaeton mixtape, “Catch The Throne,” made up of original songs inspired by the series and its themes of battles and power struggles. And I just came.
Those Pre-Moistened Butt Wipes Are Ruining Your Ass
Folks, I write to you today with a heavy heart, and a backdoor that burns like hellfire. According to Doctors at Ohio State University, popular pre-moistened toiletry wipes are causing an increased number of allergic reactions in Americans, thanks to…Read More »
Chicago Man Posts CraigsList Ad Looking for John Stamos-esque Roommate
Looking for a place to live in Chicago? Do you look, sound and act like John Stamos circa 1987? Well, have we got a place for you! Two gentlemen living in the Roscoe Village neighborhood of Chicago are looking for…Read More »
Sen. Mitch McConnell Wields Rifle At CPAC, Gives Conservatives Raging GOP Boners
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) is scoring some serious conservative brownie points. During the Conservative Political Action Conference on Thursday, McConnell walked on stage brandishing a rifle. The crowd went wild. The rifle was a lifetime achievement award, presented…Read More »
Aaron Carter Is Trying To Get Hilary Duff Back Via Twitter
What’s that sound? Oh, nothing. Just the collective “WUT?” that came out of the mouth of every person who ever lived in the early 2000s. Watch out, Mike Comrie. Aaron Carter is making the #tbt of the century. After retweeting…Read More »
